


I Love You So Much Castiel

by mishLisha



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Boys In Love, Bully Dean Winchester, Caring Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel Hates Dean Winchester, Castiel Wears Panties (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester Flirting, Cute Castiel (Supernatural), Cute Castiel/Dean Winchester, Cute Dean Winchester, Cute Kids, Dean Winchester Hates Castiel, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Gay Sex, Happy Ending, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Idiots in Love, Innocent Castiel (Supernatural), Jealous Dean Winchester, Jock Dean Winchester, Kissing, Light BDSM, Loss of Virginity, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Love, Misunderstandings, Nerd Castiel (Supernatural), Possessive Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Rimming, Sex, Shy Castiel (Supernatural), Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester, Virgin Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:53:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 61,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26137672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishLisha/pseuds/mishLisha
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak are enemies.But Destiny never let them go two paths. Every time they ended up face to face. Deep down of both boy's heart they were not enemies, then what are they? What happened to them? Will they solve their misunderstandings? Will they? Let's see.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 20
Kudos: 49





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovely Destiel lovers😍😍  
> So I'm not a writer and English is not my first language.so there would be mistakes, but sorry for those. And I wanted to write this long time ago. But I couldn't have time for that.  
> Any how our beloved Supernatural Series gonna end soon and it's make me horrified. I don't know I should i deal with it. I'm so so upset and sad with that. So broken. I love that and our boys so so much. I only wishing a happy and great life for our boys😍😍😍😍😍
> 
> So I hope you will like this.
> 
> And please let me know what you think about this fic. It's a big deal for me. 😍😍😍😍😍
> 
> So have a great day my friends 😍😍
> 
> Oh I'm gonna post the images of the fic soon. Just like my other fics.😍😍
> 
> 27/08/2020

Castiel speeded up his steps as he didn't want to late for his exams today as he never was late before. But unfortunately, he was a bit late than his usual time because he forgot to set the alarm after he studied last night his lessons which would be in the test today. That's nothing like Castiel needs to go through the lessons to pass the exams, he knows he can pass definitely, but he always wanted to prepare very well and needed to confirm himself that he is ready. He didn't want to be unsure about anything in his life. He was the perfect boy, of course perfect, most intelligent, smart, nerdy, shy boy ever in the college. But also with a kind and big-hearted one.

So he was too into the studies yesterday night and then he was cold out without even knowing. That's the reason he missed the set alarm and a bit later today morning. However, he knew he got enough time but he speeded the pace because he wanted to meet his friends before the exams start.

He was completely in his little bubble of thoughts about the exam when he heard the loud noise and he jumped out with a gasp as his legs stopped without even his awareness.

People were very less at that time in the area but few people ran to the area which noise came as Castiel also started to run because he knew that must be a car crash as the sound came. When he reached there few people were gathered around a person who must be hit by the vehicle but no one seems to try to help victims.

Castiel didn't know what to do but he didn't want to go away without helping the poor person who laid there. When he came near the person who's laid on the floor unconsciously he saw that's a woman with blonde hair and he can see she would be his mom's age if he did not guess it wrongly. He saw the blood was leaking in her leg and there are few minor damages in her head and arms. Suddenly Castiel grabbed his phone and call 119 and give them details while checking is she breathe, and luckily she was breathing but the problem was her leg was bleeding. People around seem like no idea what to do but Cas knew what should do as he never late a bit after he ended the call. And grab a bandana from his backpack and push it hard into the lady's bloody wound which still bleeding without stopping. He leaned over and check is there any sign of she is awake.

"Mam, mam can you hear me?" Castiel checked whether is there any chance if the lady has any conscious to speak but seems like she is not.

Then Castiel looked around the people around them.

"Which vehicle hit her, did anyone see that," Castiel asked from the people when he remembered about it as he never saw any damaged vehicle or anyone who looks like guilty for the accident. Probably the bastard who hit her must be gone without stopping as a no one is here to suspect and no vehicle either.

"That was a black car and it never stopped after it hit this poor woman, but fortunately I write down the number plate and will give it to the ambulance when it comes"

Castiel looked over his shoulder and saw an old woman answered his question who was in the small of people gathering around them.

He nodded at her and gave his attention to the blonde lady and keep his hand and the bandana press to the wound tightly, and he was feeling a little relief when he saw the bleeding speed had slow down at the moment. And he prayed to the god that the ambulance Will come without any late to rescue this woman. He didn't want to see any other life gone like this, coz he knew how it could damage the living people of her family whoever they are.

Then they heard the sirens sound of the ambulance and within a second they had arrived and then everyone was being forced to move aside as the ambulance workers turned up. Castiel quickly got asides giving room to Paramedics and next few seconds they got managed to get the victim women into the ambulance after do all the necessary medicine giving to her quickly. Meanwhile, Castiel heard Paramedics talking to each other while they act so quickly.

"She has lost her blood so much," Lady Paramedic said and another one answered her same time.

"We need to do a blood transfusion asap"

With that they were going to go to the hospital, Castiel's mind worked quickly and next second he found himself taking to the lady paramedic.

"I can do it, I'm a Universal donor, I can give her blood" His voice was quick and strong that he definitely wanted to help and never had any hesitation about it.

"Okay Kid hurry, getting in we can check you while we going to the hospital if everything okay you can donate blood as soon as possible"

Within that Cas find himself get into the ambulance and ambulance hit the road and flying to the hospital.

through the ambulance ride, paramedics worked quickly and after quick tests, they able to start the blood transfusions and Castiel faced it bravely. He completely forgot about the exam and college while he was a volunteer to the donate, but who cares about the exam while he can save a life, he thought like that through the ride.

But he was a bit nervous as what happened if his brother gets to know about that, he knew Gabriel will never be happy about this. Otherwise, if he got lucky and if everything goes well he can even sit on the exam too. But barely and he knew that.

When they arrived at the hospital, the paramedics make sure to end the blood transfusion and as soon as they stop the ambulance they took the patient to the operation theater.

Castiel had to wait outside and then two nurses check him and talk with him after taking him to another room. Also, give him a form and ask to fill it with his details but he didn't want to give his details, he has very own reasons for that. But at the time he couldn't pass it and he had to think and do something about it. and of course, he filled his name as Clarence Smith. Because no one should know about this, no one. Then he filled the form very briefly only answering mandatory questions. Then he gave it to the nurse who asked him to fill it. And he was dying to ask about the patient.

"Um nurse, how's the patient, I hope she is fine" Castiel's voice was so nervous and impatient.

The nurse must have noticed that and gave him a kind smile before answered to him. Checking his name in the form and then she can call by the name.

"Yes of course Clarence. She is now passed the dangerous state and we hope she will become a better situation soon. But doctors said that actually, her life saved by you. Actually by two ways"

Castiel's face filled with happiness and he was so glad to hear that.

The nurse kept explaining to him.

"The first one the way you have tried to stop the blood and second, your blood donation, actually I hope that lady is very lucky because you were there at the time accident happened. And now tell me, you feel okay? Do you feel any uncomfortable or any pain after the donation"

Castiel got the answer for what he wanted to know. That lady is fine. and now he wanted to go to the college asap. Because he didn't want to be here and anyone noticed him, and also check whether he can still sit for the exam. So he answered the nurse smoothly.

"No, actually I'm fine, absolutely fine"

He answered with a trustworthy smile. But he knew he is not because he felt he is gonna fainting but he tried his best to ignore that because that's the last thing he wants to happen now. If he say that he is feeling not well he also has to admit in the hospital and his brother will come here and get to know all the things happen. Nah he didn't want that.

"Okay then wait here, I will come back soon" With that she gone out of the room and Castiel knew this is his chance to escape as he jumped out of the bed and grabbed his trenchcoat. he didn't waste any time and escape from the hospital when he got the chance.

He knew if he catches the bus from near the hospital he can arrive at the college before a few minutes to the exam begins, maybe even if it already started, he can ask to sit still. Hah not bad, he still can try that. Then he ran to the bus stop to catch the very first bus.

.......

"Hey is that Kevin nerd" Azazel's voice was very enthusiastic because that's their new target of bullying.

Kevin is a very smart kid but always ended up having trouble because he never fights back when someone trying to bullying him. He was trying to run to his class before the exam starts as he never saw the football team sat and chatting and having fun. they were messing around the students who passed by them and make jokes on them, specifically hitting and flirt with hot girls.

"Hell yeah that's him, looks like he didn't saw us otherwise he never come to the lion's hole"

Alastair said and jumped from where he seated on the half wall and yelled at the boy who startled and looking at them with a shock.

"Hey, nerd where you think you going, huh? And what's the hurry, where's the fire"

He said while poking Kevin here and there. The poor kid twisted and stayed still, he was like a rat who faced a wild cat. He started to shiver with fear and cursed himself for never seeing them before it too late.

There was at least half of the football team and someone laughed and checked out Kevin.

"Who's this guy, I have never seen him before," He said while pointing Kevin.

"Ah Dean, he is a freshman, and one of our favorite one," Uriel said grabbing Kevin's shirt.

Oh no. Dean? is this the famous Dean Winchester, oh god I'm so done. Kevin thought and he gulped looking at Dean.

Yes, Dean Winchester the most popular and handsome boy of the whole college when it comes to their Freshmen year, but suddenly after two months of the college, he and his family had to fly to New York because of his father's family business. At that time he was so popular and also in the football team, and was famous for bulling, and had a name as a lady's man. But he had never hit or never do physical damage to any students when he bulling students. but he had a reputation to make students so embarrassing. Besides bulling he had reputation for fights. However, the whole college knew him as a dangerous person to play with. and the few people who close with him had a special place in the college.

He had a special gang of friends in his football team, they were all bullies also very mean boys who had a big ego. Dean had to be with them because they had practice and matches all the time together and Dean always thought when he was with them he felt kinda powerful and as a boss. He liked it, he loved to get the attention, so that matches him perfectly. besides them, he had another close friend gang. best friend Charlie who is a huge IT nerd, of course a lesbian and so sweet girl. And Grath, Benny, Ash and his cousin sister Jo and cousin brother Adam. They all kind of normal students without a big ego and friendly with all others. When Dean has to go to New York with his family he was a mess, he didn't want to do that and he started arguing that he can live along here, and his family can visit him when they miss him. his Mom Mary Winchester was very lovely Mom who was very careful about his children, she kept saying that it's not gonna happen. finally, he agreed with his mom and say goodbye to his college and all his friends.

But unexpectedly they came back again to the Kansas City after a year and Mary tried and successfully make arrangements to send His Elder son Dean, to his old College. Also Sam the youngest son enter his old school. It's been only a week Dean came back to the college but all his friends make sure to give the same respect and the place he kept before. And the reputation also goes high more than before.

"So boy I asked a question where is the fire?" Alastair burst out to Kevin's face and Kevin was still shivering. And he barely answered to them before he got into more trouble.

"Um, today is our maths exam and I'm so late, that's why I was in a hurry" Kevin barely mumbled and With that Alastair wink at the gang as he had got this.

"You know nerd, exams are sucks, we also have exams today, but we never care, right boys?"

He asked as he wanted others to join his dirty work.

"Let me do you a favor nerd, see you are a junior, when you get grow up you will understand that exams are sucks, so now, if you are not in the college you don't have to sit to the exam, and no one will care, right? So I'm gonna hide you right now and you can thank me later" With that Alastair and Azazel grabbed Shivering and now screaming boy and lift him, they gonna throw him to the huge garbage bin.

"No no please don't do this, please let me go, this exam is very important to me, please let me go" Kevin was crying and asking for help.

All the football team was laughing and cheering the two nasty boys who trying to throw him. Also, Dean was laughing.

Castiel was running to the class when he heard the Kevin's cry, then he stopped and see what was going on. Kevin was a freshman year boy who was get some tutorials from Castiel. He was not in a mood to face the biggest bullied team in the current situation. But he couldn't leave the poor boy either. So he was going for it. He knew he is going for a big trouble even then he walked to it. But ge never knew he was going to see the person he never wanted to see today.

"Stop that you bastards" Suddenly the bullying team herd a deep, gravelly voice and they all look around to see who had that much of power to challenge them.

Then they saw a very messy looking Castiel Novak looking at them with a death glare.

Who's hair was very much messier than ever and directed to every side as much as possible, he was covered with sweat.

And then two things happened.

One,

Dean.. Dean Winchester's mouth hang opened and he was stared at Castiel without breathing, then slowly jumped out where he seated.

Two,

Castiel Novek's eyes went high as much as possible and he stuck where he was still, he just stared back at Dean without a move.

And yes they had a long back history and of course, they were enemies, if anyone asks about that from their friends, they will say these two are BEF, best enemies forever. But besides Charlie. coz Charlie had a very different scope of vision, story, thoughts, and details about that.

Anyhow that start when they were in kindergarten. Dean and Castiel were in the same kindergarten and Dean was a very kind-hearted and very active sweet boy. Castiel was a very shy and very cute, beautiful boy. They were always seated on the same bench as they were best friends.

One day all the kids were playing outside waiting for their parents to come take them as the kindergarten is over.

Castiel was running and he ended up crashing into Dean and both of them felt as Dean grabbed his wrist and Castiel touched his chin very near to his sweet pink little pump lips. They both hurt a little bit but they didn't cry. Castiel was scared a lot because he thought Dean would cry. Because they both had a huge pout on their cute little faces. Suddenly Castiel came to Dean and his pouting face change to cute and kind smile. His beautiful blue eyes were shining a lot.

"Oh Dean, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you" He slowly said.

Then Dean's pouty lips dragging to a beautiful and lovely smile as his so much green beautiful eyes aiming to his best friend's eyes.

"It's okay Cas I'm sorry too, I also didn't see you" Then he smiled again.

Then Castiel slowly touched Dean's wrist which Dean grabbed as he got hurting there before.

"You hurting there Dean?" Cas asked with a guilty voice as his eyes got a little bit big.

Dean hissed a bit " Um yes Cas a little bit " He said and next second Castiel took Dean's hand and leans down, then he pressed a warm kiss there, smiled giddily at Dean who was looking at him surprised.

"My mommy always giving me kisses when I got hurt anywhere, and she says it will heal with the kiss," Cas said and smiled with Dean as he shared a hugely important thing with his best friend.

Dean was listening and he also looked at Castiel's chin who seems like got hurt when they felt earlier.

"Dean did you get hurt anywhere," Cas asked checking Dean's face and arms. Dean quickly nodded.

"My chest here, little bit hurting Cas," He said again with a little bit pouty voice. Then Castiels quickly look at the place Dean pointing at. Then grab both Dean's shoulders and leaned to his chest then press another kiss there.

This time Dean started a giddy laugh.

"Now those will be ok, no more hurting Dean," Castiel said with a huge smile on his lips.

"Thank you Cas, I'm okay now, but you got hurt too"

Dean frowned his face next second and put his finger on Castiel's chin where he noted before.

Then he slowly leaned and kissed there. Surprising Castiel.

Then both of them laugh happily.

"Cas did you hurt anywhere else," Dean asked but his eyes stuck with another place. He was staring at Castiel's little but plum and extremely rose lips.

" No Dean, I only got hurt my chin thank you I'm also ok now" Cas answered with a huge innocent smile.

Dean also Smiled with him but he was in another big thought. After a moment he seems to have an idea as he goes.

"But Cas you gave me two kisses and I only gave you one, I guess I should give you another kiss," Dean said because that made his little heart a bit upset.

Castiel tilted his face as he thought more about it. Then again smile.

"Okay Dean"

Dean felt very happy and he bummed with happiness.

"Cas your lips are so so much pink color, just like my mommy's lips when she colors it when we go out, sometimes my daddy kisses her lips, so can I kiss you on your pinky and pinky lot pinky lips because they are so beautiful"

Dean asked with questioning face.

Castiel seems like he has no problem with that and he also always agree with anything his best friend saying.

"Okay dean, of course, you can"

Next second Dean leaned to Castiel's face and cup his cute face with his little hands then press a sweet kiss on Cas's lips but didn't get back and stayed still for seconds remaking the scene in his mind. Both of them stayed like that without even knowing what are they doing because they were just little kids and didn't know anything and had no hatred feelings in hearts. only pure kindness and love-filled hearts. Everything was some kind of experience to them, never had any kind of wrong idea on those little hearts.

Next second Dean's shoulder grabbed and pulled by a strong hand and both of the kids parted suddenly and they got scared with that.

Both of them saw that was Dean's Daddy Mr, John Winchester and he was gritting his teeth gritting and glaring at both startled kids.

Next second he was gonna go and drag Dean with him, but before he glared at Castiel.

"You, boy, just stay away from my kid" He yelled and next second he stormed to the car park.

Castiel didn't know what happened or anything as he started crying until his one of the teacher came and consoled him till his parents come.

That was the starting point. that day John Winchester didn't say anything else to his Son because Mary was defended him. strictly saying to John as don't be freak over little things like this.

Because of parents didn't say much more about what happened, Dean thought its a not a bad thing and his daddy may be in a bad mood which he always be.

After that day Dean always loved to kiss his best friend. Same as Castiel. They didn't care where were they, if they feel like they want a kiss or want to give a kiss they just go for that, being cute kids from others' eyes. But definitely not for John. He was always acting like a stick up in his back. Very straight and a huge homophobic. So he wanted to his elder son to be a man just like him, he wanted to raise Dean as a very Man type person. For him to be proud one day.

Throughout the entire year of kindergarten Dean and Castiel kissed as cute best friends just like normal kids do, but sometimes Dean wanted to kiss Castiel's lips because it's too much pink and beautiful. He always loved to see his best friend's lips. But he makes sure to do that when no one is no around because he remembered the last time. Also Dean loved his best friend's beautiful blue eyes. When people asked him why Blue is your favorite color, he didn't hesitate and telling them because Castiel's eyes, and that they were the most beautiful blue eyes he ever saw.

After kindergarten the ended up with the same elementary school. They both stayed as best friends. Everything was normal. John always came to pick Dean from the school, Castiel's Mother Mrs. Naomi Novek came to pick him always.

Then the disaster day came again to the without even knowing. They were in grade 1 at that time.

Dean was growing to be a very handsome boy and as John's guide he ended up liking football, so he always played football when they have time for sports. And he was good at it. Castiel was a good runner and nothing more sports he likes to participate. And that day there was a kid's football match and Dean was so proud to participate that. His daddy came to watch the match but Mommy didn't because she was with Dean's baby brother at home.

All of his friends include Castiel was very happy and cheering for him. Once match star Dean played well and John was very proud of his elder son, he was happy because Dean becoming a real man who plays football and all the stuff John filled with him.

Castiel was carrying a water bottle for Dean and standing bit near to the playground more than other kids because he wanted to see his best friend very well. But suddenly one boy kicked the ball and next second unexpectedly it's hit on Castiel's face.

Castiel felt on his back and covered his face. started to crying because he felt a huge pain, also he starlet as hell, he didn't know what happened to him, just felt to the ground and started crying. Dean's eyes go wide the second he saw the accident without even a second thought he ran towards Castiel. He down to his knees and grab Castiel's hand which now covered his own face. Also, two teachers were running toward them around the playground.

"Cas, Cas are you okay, ohh please don't cry Cas. Cas let me see it"

Dean said with a very sad and afraid tone because he knew his best friend is in pain, he didn't want Cas to be in pain. He tried to pull Castiel's hand to see his face, then Cas slowly took off his hands and Dean was shocked and was about to cry when he saw Castiel's face.

Castiel's whole face became red as he's crying and his bottom lip swollen as the ball hit there, Castiel's lips were bloody red but luckily it's not wounded or bleeding but filled with blood inside and swollen as hell. Also, Castiel was crying and didn't stop for a bit, crying and looking at his best friend's face with his big blue eyes which are now soaked with tears. It would be a few seconds for all of this to happen and Dean stared at his hurting crying best friend with huge pain and fear in his face because he didn't know how to erase the pain from Cas. Next second he carefully touched Castiel's face and kissed his lips. Kissed and licked the bottom lip to make sure Castiel's hurting lip Will heal with that, and keep kissing him.

John Winchester's eyes filled with fire. he stands from his seat without even he knows, he started gritting his teeth and he was beyond the angry. His Son, his son to become a powerful man is kissing a boy in front of all students and parents in a football match.

withing a second, teachers arrived at them and looked at face to face like what to do, just the same time John stormed there and pulled Dean's hand and grabbed his both shoulders.

"You god damn idiot what do you think you are doing" John was firing and his eyes were shining with anger, Dean recognized that but he had any clue what's wrong with that.

"Daddy my best friend Castiel here got hurt badly... I just wanted to.." Dean wasn't got a chance to end it and John was busted into him.

"Shut up little brat, you just ruined my proud, you don't kiss boys you should never do that, I will teach you a very good lesson and you will never forget that" With that John dragged Dean from the ground to their car.

Castiel was crying loudly without even knowing what's happening and what to do. He only knew his Best friend dragged by his very pissed off Daddy, and his cry goes to high with that. Dean also started crying, telling his daddy that let him go, he wants to check Castiel and also wanted to play the match. But John never let go of Dean's hand and kept walking to their car.

Teachers quickly bring Castiel to give him some medicine and try to calm him down from his crying.

From that day they didn't see each other again and John managed to Enter Dean to a new school while he was crying he doesn't want to go to a new school and wanted to go to his old school with his best friend and wanted to join his football team. But John was still pissed and he made sure it will never happen.

"Look at me little stupid boy, you will never see that boy or the school again. You know, you are also grounded for a year, because you acted very badly and make me so embarrassed. You destroyed my pride and my name. John Winchester's son never be a faggot, no, never, I will never let you down me again understand you little rat" John yelled at Dean.

"Daddy but I love Castiel, he is my best friend, he always helping me and very kind and.. " Dean was crying and trying to explain but John got pissed off again.

"Stop talking about him, you will never say his name on this house again and he is not your best friend. See now you lost your school your football team and all other your friends, why? All because of that stupid boy, right? He is the reason for your bad behavior and because of that even you are now grounded, no playing no going to the park, no camping trip with me, no fishing lessons nothing, all of your favorite things lost because of that boy. So is he still your best friend? " John stated and poor Dean's little mind had to accept that is true. He was in deep thinking, his mind twisted by John and Dean only saw what John had shown him. And he believed his daddy.

"Dean, my son You are a strong and very handsome boy, boys are so powerful, you should make sure to go higher more than others. Especially you never kiss boys again you should hate that you understand me?" John kept making Dean's mind.

"Yes Daddy" Dean answered with a weak voice and that's the end of his and Castiel's friendship.

Dean quickly started to hate Castiel because he believed he lost his favorite things because of him. That's the only thing he remembered about Castiel, and of course besides Castiel's most beautiful Blue eyes and pretty pink and more pink lips.

TODAY

"Well well well look who we have here, the biggest nerd of the whole college, huh what a surprise I never thought you faggot got that much of gut to face me like this"

Dean said surprising voice before walk toward Castiel, who staring at him with a glare.

" I don't want to talk with you Winchester or anyone of them, just let go of Kevin and we will be gone," Castiel said with a frown and a determined voice.

All the bullying team started to laugh and Dean also smirked at Castiel and stop in front of him making sure the space between them only few steps.

"Ouch Novek, you hurting my feelings man, I thought you were gonna sit here and chit chat with me, and you know even we can have a tea party"

Dean said before give a shit-eating grin to Castiel. Bullies laughed again.

"poor nerd he must be thinking he is better than Winchester " "Show who's the man Dean" "Yeah kick his ass man"

All of them shouted cheering Dean as Castiel's heart get speed, he was very weak, he just wanted to sit for his exam after all things happened to him since in the morning. This is the last thing he wanted to happen now and not with Fucking Winchester, not at all.

"Fucking idiots" Castiel murmured and tried to walk past Dean toward Kevin who was standing nearby the garbage bin.

Within second Dean grabbed Castiel's Arm and pulled him and Castiel manhandled without any resistance because he was already so weak.

"What the hell did you say? And where you think you going Novek, you think you are this much man huh? Did you forget that you are a nerd and a little fag?"

Dean gritted his teeth and leaned to Castiel's face. Dean's eyes never left on the Castiel's blue eyes, then he glanced at his pump lips which are not more pink and become pale now at the moment. He kinda enjoyed the moment coz his face was too close to Castiel's. That feeling surprised him and then he remembered the past as got pissed.

"Let go my hand Winchester, just leave me alone"

Castiel shouted back yanking his arm as hard as he can also try to pull it out of Dean's grasp.

"Huh? Do you know what is your problem faggot? You think you have a smart mouth, isn't it?"

Dean grabbed Castiel's collar and shoved him into the nearest wall. Castiel felt a pain in his back because he was already feeling that he is going to faint anytime. But he stayed strong.

"You know, don't ever think you are a badass, did you hear me Novek, just know that you are only a fucking nerd that's it" He let go the shirt and glare at him. Then step up to join his rest of the team who were cheering as Dean is some kind of hero.

Castiel knew Kevin can't deal with these assholes. A few weeks ago they had beat Kevin shit out of him and he knew Kevin can't take it anymore. Castiel can't let anything happen to him. Kevin was still in the corner like a rat. Then Castiel saw that all of the bullies eye aimed at him and not to Kevin.

"Kevin, run" Next second Castiel shout and Kevin understand what he means. Kevin started to run toward the hallways to get to class without even looking back. That makes enough to make the team pissed off and Castiel saw now the way those assholes eyes going fire.

"You little fucker, will teach you a lesson today"

Before Castiel even know what's happening Azazel ran to him and grabbed a hold of Cas and slams him into one of the garbage bin. Castiel closed his eyes and cried with the sudden pain he felt.

Dean just glared at the team didn't say anything as he was Just looking at them.

Azazel came close to him and grabbed Cas and hoists him to his feet by his collar, then without a second pass his fist lands on Castiel's right cheek and he's stumbled to the ground with a high cry.

Dean's facial expression was blank, empty. But he just stared at the team. Didn't trying to help the team or didn't try to stop them beating the Castiel. Why he would stop this, this is the most favorite thing he would like to see after all. Castiel Novak is his enemy, he hates him so what? why'd he stop his team hitting the shit out of him. At least that's what people think. He just stands there like a dummy.

One after one came and all the bullies’ team hit Castiel on his cheeks, stomach, and even his hips. Until, Mr. Singer was running into them yelling to stop them. As soon as they saw their swimming coach running towards them the bullies’ team let go Castiel and ran away. Castiel was almost faint but through his swallow eyes he saw Dean glanced at him once and his face was blank no happiness from his win against Castiel, and then next second he joined to the team and ran away.

Mr. Singer came to Castiel and kneeling down near him soon as he reached to Castiel.

“Son, hey you okay? Can you look at me, this bullies assholes err" Mr. Singer growled and tried to help Castiel stand up but failed as Castiel fainted that very moment.

..

"Hey Dean, wanna have a drink, we gonna hit the club," Uriel asked after they stop running.

Dean looked surprised with that "what you guys crazy? It's just the morning fuckers, besides I thought we might be sneak in again the class then we can sit for the exam”

Making Dean furious and angry, the rest of the team started to burst out a laugh.

“What Winchester, is it like you got change after the year of hanging out with New york losers ”

Michael said with a cocky smile on his face who always wanted to get the leadership of the gang beside the football team. He was already the captain of the football team, but always he lost it when it’s come to their normal life gang out of the playground, Dean literary eventually be a leader, and the rest of the team became the followers without even asking. Dean believes that because of his charming power, sometimes he said it to Michael’s face that “you can’t beat Winchester charming bro”

“Yeah, I also noticed dude you even didn’t participate to show that Novak boy his limit, what? are you being a pussy after all?” Azazel laughed loudly.

When it was a year ago, before Dean moves to New York City, the gang was not bad this much. They never hit any kids just bullied lightly, actually, even that was not bullying, it was mostly having a proud and walking through the other kids like a wolf pack, heads up chest out and they make fun of some weirdoes but never hit or never did any harm to the students like they did today. But besides only one time. There is only one very unfortunate incident and that will never forget for two students and that’s the only time Dean hit a kid in the collage. That happened in begin of their freshman year before Dean left the College.

Dean calm himself barely stopping himself grab Michael and Azazel then hit the shit out of them and show them who was he, he is Dean Winchester and he will never be a loser of a pussy. He is the man of the man. But he gave them a calm and cocky, his Dean Winchester smile before he answers to them.

“Damn boys, looks like all of you guys have forgotten who really am I, right. Maybe I should show you and remember you all”

The rest of the team seems like gone backward and their laugh and smile vanish within seconds.

“Hey calm down Dean we just fucking with ya, what you say the treat is all mine, let’s hit the bar” Azazel quickly said patting Deans' shoulder and smiling at him.

Dean wanted to sit for the exams. Its been only a week after the join to the college and all he wanted is to do his studies well to make his Mom proud and happy about him, so he wanted to sit for the exam anyway, it was important to him. So he checked the phone to see what time it is, so he can figure out is he still got time to go to the class. Otherwise, he can go with the team.

Then he saw the ten missed calls on his phone from an unknown number. That made him surprise because who have been calling him, and how did he even didn’t saw one of the calls. Shit, he was kinda busy with the gang making fun of kids since morning. Also, the phone was in a silent mood. No, any texts only calls. He frowned his forehead for a while before he quickly dialed the number back thinking like, all right let see who is in the hurry. He glanced at the team and sighed them to wait. The call contact and a lady greeted to the call.

“Good morning, Kansas central Hospital, how can I help you” Deans got some kind of shock. Why the hell he got ten missed calls from the hospital. He thought for a second what he must ask next.

“Um morning, actually I got ten missed calls from this number and you know I just wanted to check, I guess,” he said nervously.

“Okay sir can you please tell me your name,” the lady asked calmly.

“I’m Dean, um Dean Winchester” he answered quickly. The lady from the other side took more time than before and it made Dean more impatient. After seconds the lady answered him.

“Yes sir, we have tried to contact you since morning. We have to inform you, Mrs. Mary Winchester got an accident and she is now in the hospital and...” Dean only heard that part and he forgot where he is and he started to yell.

“Son of a bitch, is she alright please tell me she is okay, please, please tell me she’s doing okay now, oh god please”

He started to yelling at the phone, running towards the car park direct to his baby.


	2. Bullying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S today is 13/09/2020 and supernatural shooting is already end and I'm not okay 😭😭 but hope we all go through this together ❤❤ andd please tell me what you think about my fic ❤❤❤❤❤

Dean stopped the impala with a sharp break and running to the hospital as soon as he can. He gave his mother's details and mention that she admitted in the morning after the accident as the nurse who was at the front desk quickly gave him details of the room where Mary was now.

Dean didn't bother to thank her and ran again checking the room numbers. And finally, he found the room. He stopped in front of the door and wait for a second, he got a deep breath and slowly breathe out just for calming himself down, slowly opening the door as he didn't want to wakeup Mary if she was resting.

When he entered the room Mary was laid on the bed closing her eyes. Seems like she was sleeping. Dean was holding his breath because he felt like he is going to cry and slowly he walked towards the bed. He just stared at his mother's painful eyes. There were few plasters on her hands and face and her leg was bandaged. Her face looked so tired and pale. Dean slowly sat on the bed and slowly touched his mom's hand as he heard an awake sound from Mary. He just stared at his mom waiting for her to look at him.

Slowly Mary woke up and opened her eyes, soon as she saw Dean, her face lighten up a little even though her pale face said all the pain she was going through.

"Oh, my baby... Dean...you came sweetie?"

Mary's voice was husky and low. She just tried to reach her hand to him but Dean quickly stopped her by grabbing her hand and not letting her to bring her hand up.

"Yes Mom, mom I'm so sorry I didn't be there at that time, shit I'm so sorry mom. I can't believe that I didn't reach the news because I didn't check my damn phone. I'm so sorry mom" Keen couldn't resist anymore and he started to cry.

"Ohh hey Sweetie look at me honey, it's fine Dean, that's just not even a problem. I swear that's not your fault what happened to me and you came here as soon as you got the news and I can see that" Mary tried to comfort him and she smiled at him softly.

"Now please stop crying Dean, you are very ugly when you are crying" Mary chuckled and Dean also chuckled wiping his tears.

"Mom, tell me how you feel now?, how did this happen?, who the fuck did this to you mom?, I'm gonna kill that bastard" Dean gritted his teeth as he remembered the bastard whoever hit Mary with their vehicle.

"Dean... Please just calm down okay, I think no one has seen them but I someone have got the number of the vehicle, so probably the police will catch them soon, so you don't worry about it. And also I'm started to feeling well more than before, I think I have a quick recovery power from my guardian angel"

Mary tightened her grip on her son's hand and said to make sure Dean is slowly calm down.

"Hmm, that's good to hear Mom, seriously. And Mom I'm so sorry for not being there and didn't come to see you soon" Dean said leaned down and kissing Mary's hand which was wrapped up with his.

"Sweetie I told you that it is fine. Okay? Now tell me where is Sammy" Mary asked a questioning look with her face.

"Oh Mom actually when I got the news I almost forget him but after when I drove here I thought and decided it would be good I came first to see you then I will pick him after his school and then I can bring him to see you, so I came directly here, besides I didn't want to waste any time, just wanted to see you" Dean was still in so pain as his voice came so low.

"And Mom I should thank the doctor because I don't know what should I do if anything happens to you Mom" He wanted to cry again as he didn't look at His mother when he says that.

"Oh, Dean... Don't worry baby Mom right here. Don't worry sweetie. Oh, and remembering of the thanking, you know what Dean, Doctor said me strange story" Mary said with a happy grin on her face.

"What is that Mom" Dean was now can't wait to hear that he wanted to make sure everything is okay with his Mom.

"When the Doctor visit me after the surgery, I thanked him for rescuing me, but then he said I should not have to thank them, but to the boy who rescued me"

Dean gave a questioning look "A boy?"

"Yes Dean, then I asked who is that, the doctor said when the accident happened there was a boy and he had stopped me bleeding out by using a cloth on my wound and when the ambulance came he also has volunteered for the blood donate as he is a universal donor, and Doctor said he saved me doing both actions and it's a miracle because I was lost lots of blood at that time," Mary said and Dean's heart shattered the mentioning of how her mother's life was in a danger.

"Wow, he must be a real Angel to save you like that, and Mom was he came to meet you?" Dean asked.

"No Dean, nurse said he seems like not well after the blood donate, but before they do any more checkup he has escaped without even informing, and she said he was kinda impatient to get to know that I'm doing okay" Mary chuckled.

"Poor kid I really hope he is doing fine, and Dean as the nurse said about him he must be like in your age, so can you please just search about him, because I really like to thank that kid and he seems like a well-educated and very kind child, those are so lacking these days"

Dean shrugged "okay Mom I will definitely find him, and what is his name again?"

"Oh it is Clarence, and now, Dean you go back and pick Sam from the school and bring him here, I don't want him to be scared and worried just like you did before, okay? Now go safely" Mary said with a lovely smile at her Son.

"Okay Mom, but please take a good rest while I'm going, I don't want you to be worried about anything right now, okay, I will come soon with that giant moose" Dean chuckled and gave a kiss on his mom's forehead.

He was thinking about this strange mystery boy, Clarence... Hmm, who would be that much of a big-hearted kid, whoever is he, I owe you my life, Dean thought while he walked to his car. He determined to find him anyway.

………………………………….

Castiel slowly opened his eyes. He felt like his head is pounding as he tried to close and open his eyes a few times. He ran his eyes around to check where he was. Obviously it's not home and he is laid on a bed right now. His eyes still not clear and couldn't see anything yet as he had a blur vision. He just closed and open his eyes a few more times.

Holly shit I'm in a hospital. His mouth was gone dry as he eyed the hospital gown he was wearing. This must be a complicated one otherwise if this was a normal day-to-day checkup on the hospital they didn't dress me in this hospital gown. His head started to pound harder. He wanted to know is this the same hospital he was in the morning. But why he is in here in the first place, what happened to him, oh, yes those douchebags beated him like shit, and then the last thing he saw was Dean. His face... His face was no happy for what they have done to me. But why? Oh.. wait? After all of this, he did to you, you still think about him. Awesome Castiel, awesome.. what an idiot. He fought himself for his stupidity. Okay after the beating what happened?, maybe I should have passed out.

"Hey Castiel, you are wake. How do you feeling now?" A nurse came to the room asking and Castiel wished it’s not the same nurse who was with him in the morning before he looking at her. Ok that’s not the same nurse, thank god. He thought before answering.

"I'm feeling good now, um, mam can you please tell me what happened? I mean who bring me to the hospital? Because I don’t remember much”

“of course Castiel, the school nurse brought you to here, they said you got some kind of this bulling trouble and they keep searching about it, and they didn’t like the way you passed out and you seems not good, so they brought you here ” nurse said grabbing his clipboard.

“ oh, ok, and mam can I go home now please, I think I’m feeling good now" Castiel asked trying to sit up. He had to go home, he didn't want to drag Gabriel to this. Hell didn't want to Gabriel get into these things.

The nurse gave him a kind smile who hold Castiel's shoulder and stop him from sitting up.

"I'm sorry Castiel you can't leave yet, you have to wait here at least tomorrow. And how about you tell me the real answers this time, and it will help both of us" Nurse said with a kind smile.

Castiel's throat was gone dry this time. Fuck did they recognize me already? Is that what she means by that? The real answers? Will I have to go through the consequences of giving fake details for the hospital records.

Castiel thought while looking at the nurse.

"What did you mean by real answers?" He asked with an unsure tone.

"I mean, you said now you feeling well, but we both know that's a huge lie. And also the doctor said you are so weak after he checked you before.

So tell me how you feel now"

She asked with a smile, checking the clipboard again.

Oh, she is not talking about the morning incident. Ok yet to okay then. Castiel thought and he quickly gathered a wise answer.

"Actually, it's kind of hurting in here," He said showing his stomach.

"And also hurting my shoulder and my left cheek, but that's it," He said and looked at the nurse hope this time she will accept that.

Nurse nodded. "Okay, Castiel I guess you are telling truth because there are much bigger buries for proving that, but we already take care of those, the pain will be reduced soon, bud the problem is, the time you were unconscious, that's too much time more than necessary. That's why doctors wanted to get some scans of you" Nurse explained to him.

Castiel can understand what happened. He was already about to pass out in the morning after the blood transfusion, if he reminds the things to happen since the morning, first he skipped his breakfast in the morning and then he did the blood donation then he had to run without any rest, for another plus point then mentally break down from the bullies, then they beat him without mercy. That's too much for a day. His body and brain both couldn't take it anymore. Maybe that's why he was passed out for too long.

Hospital wanted to inform anyone of his family members or a friend but Castiel had to convince them that he can take care of it and his family is too busy and didn't want to interrupt them.

Castiel checked his phone after the when seems like everything is calm down. There were few messages from friends and Gabriel, he quickly opened Gabriel's message. He has not sure is Gabriel got the news or not, but if he got the news, he will never fooling around sending texts and will crash ASAP.

//Cassie is everything okay? Didn't hear anything from you since yesterday morning. I'm thinking about coming over this weekend. Hope my minions can run the bakery one day without me, so let's meet up soon baby bro. Love ya//

Castiel's face lightened up with a smile. Ok seems like everything is fine.

//'m fine Gabriel, just had an exam so was a bit busy. that's great to hear that you are coming over at weekend, then see you soon//

Castiel signed, he just wanted to go home without caught by any nurse who recognized him from the morning incident. He tried to be so silent and just tried to sleep. But he also was dying to meet the woman who was got an accident in the morning. He wanted to see her for a while. But he wasn't sure how he going to do that. He understands that he had to wait in the hospital until they let him go.

The next morning, hopefully, doctors said that he can go home after he got few scans as they seem like no issues.

When nurses' advised him to be careful and to-do list and not to-do list, he slowly got dressed up and gather his backpack where the nurse put his belongings. Then he walked out of the room and hurriedly went to the exit. But suddenly he saw her. The women he saved last day. She was in a wheelchair and seems better now because her face was colored by a smile. She didn't saw or recognized Castiel, also suddenly he covered himself to a nearby wall in case if any nurse will recognize him. Then the crazy idea hit him. He groaned at his craziness. He waited there for a second to convince himself to that would be no do any halm. So then he slowly walked after the nurse, but of course, he took care not to be caught by them but also walked like a normal patient. Castiel noted the room number then just walked past the room and waited until the nurse left the room.

Ok this is a little awkward, he didn't want to act like a thief, damn.. basically he was the hero of the scene but he can't let them know who he really is. He was so scared to be recognized by others, he was so antisocial and he didn't like to his brother get to know anything about this. That's the whole reason for this hide and seek game.

He heard a door close sound and the sound of the nurse's steps. Castiel slowly walked towards the Room he noticed before. He waited a second before open the door he got a deep breath then slowly open the door to cursing himself for doing this. But his curiosity and kindness towards the patient make him feel he is doing the right thing. The second he opened the door, Mary looked at him then her eyes made a questionable look.

Castiel gulped while slowly walking towards her mostly not knowing what to tell.

Mary looked up at the opening door and her expression of exhausted suddenly changed to one of the delighted amazement

"Oh my god, it's you, right? You... The kid who saved my life... What did they say your name ahh yes yes Clarence... It's you right?" Mary was overjoyed to see him.

Castiel felt a kind of relief as he released a breath he held for seconds. He smiled with her. Her face was so tired look but seems like she was really happy to see him.

"Um, yes mam it's Clarence. I.. am.. Aaa, I just wanted to check that how you doing.. You know um..." Castiel said with a blush tone.

"Oh yes my dear I'm doing a quick recover all because of you, actually Clarence you were an Angel there for me, here, come near to me son" Mary pat on the bed. She wanted to see him closely.

Normally Castiel never talked with strangers. He was never good at talking with new people. He is a really shy boy and an antisocial boy. But today he felt kinda safe feeling. Whatever reason he didn't felt like an awkward or dull moment there. So he smiled at him and sat on the bed slowly.

"Son" Mary took Castiel's both hands before talking to him.

"I don't know how to thank you, I mean you saved my life and..and I don't know how my family deal with that if something happens to me. I got two sons, just like you. They.. they.. I don't know what if.." Mary was saying but eventually, her voice crackled as tears felt down.

Castiel tightened her hand who held till now.

"Please Mam, don't cry everything is okay now, God will always protect you and your family, please don't cry it's not good for you, " Castiel said with a worried voice.

"Ohh, no no please don't call me mam, just call me Mary. I'm Mary. Um.Mary Campbell"

She said wiping her tears and tried to smile.

"So Clarence, the nurse said that you were suddenly disappeared yesterday, is everything all right? I hope you are fine" Mary smiled at him.

"Yes ma.. I mean Mary, um I was aa um bit in a hurry, so I had to go, but before I go I made sure that you getting better, by asking the nurse" Castiel said with a genuine smile.

He felt kind of relief around this woman, he never felt like that after long time, actually he felt kinda happy and free when he talks with this lady here, he was not supposed to be here but now he felt this is making him happy.

"Yes, son the nurse said that you kept asking about my situation" Mary chuckled.

"And Clarence I would really really like to come to your house and talk with your parents and thank them for raising a son like you, actually they should be very proud of you. No one helped me that day besides you, without you I don't know what would be happened to me"

Now, that's the warning alarm for Castiel, his face gone pale, he barely sit there without running out and never look back. He thought quickly before answer to Mary.

"Um. Mary, of course you can come over. But um actually I have to go right now but we will meet again and then we will talk about it, after you recovered fully, you can come around, so then I will leave you to get some rest, you look like you can have a great nap right now" Castiel said smoothly smiling at her, not wanting to hurt this kind and lovely woman.

"Okay son, that's sound good. then I hope I will see you soon, and my sons also very loves to meet you and to thank you, so Clarence, see you soon Son, God bless you" Mary gave a warm smile at him.

"God bless you, Mary, see you soon" With that, he smiled at her and slowly walked out of the room.

Castiel just wanted to go home, and just sleep and maybe not waking up for a week.

………………………….

Castiel was exhausted he just laying on his bed closing his eyes. He thought about all the things that happen to him in the last two days. And then Dean fucking Winchester. Arr, why the hell he is back to the college. Dean was Castiel's most annoying problem. Castiel hated him more than anything else. At least he tried to convince that to himself and others around him. Because he couldn't able to control the huge crush towards Dean Winchester. He doesn't know when it's started. Maybe in the kindergarten or maybe in the elementary school when Dean kissed him in front of all the parents, teachers, and students. He can't tell actually when. But he can't stop it. At least until the day Dean showed him who really he is. Castiel never forgets that day. Since that day he actually started to hate him. Also, he remembered the first day they met after years.

The day they all going to college. Castiel was so excited because he knew his friends Meg and Alfie also going to join with him. But he never thought that his kindergarten best friend will meet him there who had been very changed. The kind little sweet boy into a very handsome stylish but very proud and easygoing boy who not caring about anything besides his family and best friends. Because he was trained to be the best, and the Man of the man. He hated to be weaker, failure, or be the second. Always he wanted to be first, at least besides in the class.

Castiel never saw him after the elementary school neither Dean. Castiel was walking towards the main Hall finding Meg when someone bumped into him and he is almost falling his back. Next second a very strong hand grab his arm and helped him to get on his feet again.

"Son of a bitch, hell I'm sorry man, I didn't see ya at all" Castiel heard a worried voice and he was going to say it's okay and thank you when he lift his face to see him. but as soon as he saw the boy who was still grabbing his arm smirking at him his words all gone.

"Dean? Dean Winchester? Oh god, you... You here? Do you remember me?" Castiel was beamed. Dean was totally stunned as the surprise bounces around inside his skull. But mainly he was staring at Castiel's Ocean blues and pinky and now more pinky and kissable lips. He nervously licks his lips.

"Castiel, I mean Cas? You. Oh god" Dean couldn't stop the stupid grin coming from him and he put one steps towards Castiel ending the space between them and hugged him.

"Ohhohooo man it's been years, you look bit change but few things seem like never changed," He said when he released Castiel from his bear hug, pointing at Castiel's face. Then he suddenly tried to correct it.

"I mean.. I mean your face yeah.. You know" Then he chuckled as he didn't know what the hell wrong with Castiel’s Lips, his pinky, pinky lips, ok shut up Dean.

Castiel was beaming his smiley face never faded since he saw Dean.

"Yes, Dean. You too. you look amazing and never changed besides became better" He answered but felt his cheeks getting burn a little bit, which he didn't care of course. God Dean has become so Handsome. his Beautiful green eyes which Castiel couldn't able to forget ever, are so perfect there. And the millions of beautiful freckles around his face Castiel just stared at those, barely control his freaking hand from touching those.

"Huh huh so man, seems like you also stuck here right?" Dean asked pointing at the College building.

"Yeah of course never thought we both meet at the same college after years. So, Dean how are you, I did wonder sometimes where would you live and how you doing, coz I didn't see you after the elementary school"

Castiel stated but then he remembered how they got separated, but too late, coz seems like Dean also affected by that.

"Um yeah.. You know just lived the same place and stuck with school and family" Dean responded weakly. He almost forgot how they ended their friendship in the past until Cas remind it right now, yeah he hated Castiel before when he was young but it was a long time ago but the hate never grows up neither not washed out, it's just been there not updated because he completely forgot about Castiel. okay not completely. He Remembered Castiel when the first time he kissed a girl when he was 12 years old. He had to mentally fight for push the Blue eyes his mind showing him for the entire seconds of the kiss. Then he ended up the kiss murmuring "Cas" causing the girl named whatever Dean couldn't remember pushed him away saying her name is not Cas.

And then again, when the first time he hooked up with a girl that happened again. He repeatedly reminded a pinky lips of Castiel’s when he looked at her lips, but those pinky lips couldn't even compare with any girl's lips Dean has seen until now, he kind of pissed off with that thought. What the fuck happening to me, why every time I'm trying to be with a girl my stupid mind show me those eyes and lips, it's just like a curse, no he is not even a friend of mine anymore. So why the hell I remind him. No no, I don't want to remind him. He tried to push those thoughts again and again. So when considering those incidents technically Dean never forgot him. But this point he never expected to see him. So those hate feelings never comes out first, only the old innocent boy version of Dean came. but now Dean remembered everything. He just not feeling to talk with Castiel anymore. Also, those stupid pink lips, why the hell they are so pink. Dean didn't aware that he is staring at those lips. Until Castiel put his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Dean? Um. You wanna go find the classes and the lockers, I didn't go there yet" Castiel asked with hope, maybe they can start over again their friendship in here. They can be best friends again. Cas never forget his best friend ever. of course, everything changed with the time but the kindest and caring soul he met in his life was Dean. He took good care of Castiel every time even he is the same age as Castiel. So he wanted to have him again in his life.

But then there is another long pause as Dean was staring at Castiel's plump kissable pinky lips unconsciously licking his own lips and Castiel was staring at Dean's freckles as they are visible beautifully to the sunshine. Both of them didn't understand what they were doing. They just be there staring at each other when they heard a sarcastic voice behind them.

"Well well well what we got here, Winchester what's going on? Huh? Care to share, is there any miracle on his face? " Alastair smirked and patted on Dean's shoulder showing Castiel's side.

Dean got a little shock but he successfully hid it from Alastair who was a high school friend of his (of course he didn't like him much but hang around however) as he knew how much dick was he.

Castiel didn't like the guy the second he heard his voice, he never saw him before but guessed he would be Dean's friend.

"Nothing to share Alastair, was gonna go to find ya all, where is the others"

Dean answered almost acting like Castiel isn’t there and like never heard Castiel's invite, to go with him to find the classes.

"They all are waiting for ya, by the way, who's this delicate little flower over here? Is he someone you like to introduce to us" Alastair smirked and showed Castiel.

Dean glared at Alastair without looking at Castiel, he groaned a little.

"He is no one and of course not a fucking delicate little flower, I just bumped into him, c'mon let's find others" With that Dean turned on his heel. He never cared to even glance at Castiel, like he completely forgot about Castiel, Dean walked away with that friend of him.

Castiel felt like someone stabbed in his heart. Wow, what was that? For a second Dean was there staring at me, he was happy to see me then next second he was acting like I do not even exist. What happened? Castiel thought and tried to push the pain deep in his heart. But hell, how did he do that. It's been years but never forgotten about Dean yet and now the first second Dean bumped on Castiel when the second Castiel saw those green goblets he knew he is gone. He can't just shut his heart like that. He knew he is falling. at least he understand for sure he got a huge crush on his former best friend.

But hey, the kid got kinda fair point. Dean was his first and most loveable kiss when he last checked by the way. Of course, they were kids, but he still can feel Dean's lips, how much love and care filled in that kiss. So he got kinda right for fall him.

But Dean was like embarrassing when his asshole friend come to them, maybe he has something in his mind that time, Dean will explain it to me later. Castiel thought while slowly walking to the college building.

Dean. He was between two worlds. He just met Castiel after years, his ex-best friend. Yeah, he remembered him. But also he remembered the way it ended. However, still he has hate in heart. He also hated himself for hugging Castiel before. He shouldn't do that. He shouldn't be very happy to meet him. Hell, even he shouldn't have talked with him first hand. If his Dad thinks that he is a bad influence on Dean's MAN reputation, he didn't want to even see him anymore. And also he scared the way his heart got speed when he saw that strange-looking lips, what's wrong with those fucking pinky plump soft looking lips, fuck it. It's not like Dean never saw a goddamn lips before. He is a womanizer. He had gotten to deal with lots of lips. But he never had this kind of feeling when he saw those lips. What the hell wrong with him. And the way he felt when he hugged Castiel. That was felt so right. He felt like coming home. He hated it. The smell of the boy, the warmth of his body, the amazing smile on his face, the way his eyes glowed when he recognized Dean. His fucking gravelly voice. Damn Dean just felt genuinely happy when he hugged him. But why? he is no one. Even they didn't see or talk to each other for ages. So it's scared, Dean. Why did he staring at Castiel like that? He didn't understand.

And this ass Alastair, he is a real asshole who would never ever leave this behind. But when they met their friends Dean never talked about what happened earlier neither Alastair, but Dean can see there is something on his damn skull when he saw that devilish smirk on his face. Dean determined to stay calm not giving a bit of clue that he is shattered for a moment with embarrassment.

Today

Castiel opened his eyes and he checked the time. It's almost 3.00 pm. Great, he didn’t get the breakfast after he came from the hospital. That’s why he felt he is starving. But it's not like he is always having full or a very healthy breakfast all the time. Most of the days he skipped the breakfast or lunch. Of course he is very good at cooking. Gabriel is obsessed with his foods always. But normally Castiel is staying along in home besides Gabriel's weekend visits. And it’s also like monthly, so he didn't want to have lots of food. so he always has very little and light meals. But if there was a bad day in a college exactly like yesterday he doesn't bother to prepare anything and just sleeping with an empty stomach. He hated to do so. He hated to stay along. But he never had a family. He was live like an orphan. They had a family when he was a child. but after his mother passed away his life got worse. He also wanted to die, but whatever strong and powerful feeling inside him stopped him every time. So here he is facing all the problems he has to face along.

He felt another hungry growl inside his stomach as lazily climbed out the bed. He checked the fridge and brings out some bacon and eggs. Fried them and made a hot coffee. He didn't want to make some lunch as he thought morning food is easy to make even now it’s almost afternoon. When he opened his mouth to eat there was a little pain in his jawbone reminding the yesterday scene. He signed and ate slowly and quietly. He didn't know why everyone hated him. He was always tried to be nice and kind to other people, try to help and he didn't know why people left him. And why god always treated him like this. In college, he only got a few kids as friends. Besides Gabriel, he only has very few people who even talk with him. Maybe it's really my fault, that's why people hate me. I'm not so social, don't like to use alcohol, not a party person, and I like to do my all studies first and I like books maybe that's why they call me a nerd, and I'm gay that's must be another reason for them to hate me. But I'm not hurt anyone in my life, why god why you always giving me sad and hurt. Most of his days ending up him cried to sleep, full of mind and body hurts. But he never complained about it, never asked anything from God, but he questioned, every day every night as, Why God, Why?

Today is also a day like that. After finished his food he slowly started to clean up the kitchen, then he took time for cleaning inside the house. Castiel is a very clean and a neat boy. After that he gathered his backpack and do some studies. Then he decided it’s time to bed. And didn't want any dinner because he was not in a mood to eat but he got some tablets to have, so he just made a warm glass of milk and got his all tablets. After the drinking milk, he felt kinda warmth in his heart. Suddenly he remembered Mary. She was such a nice woman. She always reminds his mom to him. But when she asked to meet his parents he was scared a lot. His only left parent was his father who abounded him and his brother. and who hated Castiel for bringing the unluck for his family. Castiel didn’t remember the last day he saw his father. He was in grade 5 then. He terrifies to even remember his father.

Besides him, Gabriel was his only family. If Gabriel knew this incident Castiel knew he was in huge trouble. So he never ever wanted Mary to meet his family. But he would like to meet her by himself one more time. But he can't and of course what's the different? She will end up hating him and will say, you are a worthless piece of shit and you only bring unluck so just fuck off. That’s how always everything and everyone ended up he loved. Castiel sighed again. Then he felt familiar wetness on his cheeks. He slowly sobs until the sleep finds him. He murmured slowly "Why God, Why?".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your big kudos and comments are so welcome and I'm hopefully looking forward it❤❤ have a great day😇


	3. Come back to college

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here we go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends 😇😇 what do you think about the chapter? Please tell me. Have a great day ❤

Sam was still pissed at Dean for not telling him about mom and not taking him for the first time to the hospital. They argued and fought about it many times but Mary had to stop them all times.

"But mom" Sam started couldn't able to complete his complain, as Mary stopped him.

"Sam..... It's okay baby just let it go. You are here now, and I'm also getting better, and you know Dean was not okay in that time, he was so upset Sam. That's why he forgot about you. So now please stop fighting boys, it's been three days now, okay?" Mary stated.

Sam glared at Dean and didn't say a word. Dean smirked at him. Mary sighed looking at Dean.

"Dean, how about your exam son? Did you able to sit for it"

Dean's face darkened by that question, he remembered everything happened that day.

"No mom, I didn't but when I went to the college yesterday I heard there is another re-examination and I'm planning to sit for it, so you don't wanna worry about that mom," Dean said with a reassurance voice.

"And mom, are you sure that I shouldn't call Dad, whatever happened I think he supposes to know about the accident Mom, I mean.."

"Dean, no. I told you to NO, when you asked in the first time, and you know what happens in the family right now, and I don't want to make more drama, so no one is going to call him, that's it" Mary's voice was like a final decision.

Dean nodded and gave her a smile, Sam just looked at both of them and smiled lightly without knowing what to say.

"By the way, Dean, did you heard anything about Clearance?" Mary remembered Castiel and wanted to know if Dean found anything about him.

"No mom, there is no one named Clarence in the college with the same features as you explain, and also I went to the address he had given to the hospital, but mom I don't know why but there is no house in that address, I feel like he had given some wrong details mom," Dean said.

Mary had immediately looked at Dean

"But Dean, why'd he doing that, I mean he just saved my life, not did anything wrong, why is he hiding,but.." Mary hesitated a bit before continue.

"I mean I have to agree with you sometimes because when he came that day to visit me he was acting like afraid of something. I mean when I asked about his parents he obviously got shocked, but I don't know why, also he promised me that he will come back soon, and yeah he never came back yet"

Mary said with a sad face.

"It's okay mom, Will see maybe he will visit you soon again then you can ask what is the problem, then probably we can help him too" Sam wanted to light up the situation as he said and caressed his mom's head.

"Yes, Sammy we will see," Mary said with a nice smile on her face.

..............

"Hey Winchester what's happening around you, you just ran out like a crazy dog last day, and even after you came back, then you have gone without hanging out" Alastair shouted at Dean when the football team saw Dean came near to the his locker.

Dean didn't want to talk with them but too late they saw him. So he slowly walked towards them.

"Nah man, it was a family call and had to run, still have to take care of it, was a bit busy with it, so what's going on? you gonna go for the class or not?" Dean asked with a fake chuckle wanting to end the conversation with that.

"Yeah was gonna go," Azazel said while shoving carelessly few students who passed around him.

The gang entered the class as Dean quickly looked at the corner, where Castiel normally sit. but he wasn’t there. Dean noticed that since after the day they hit the kid that he did not come to school. Dean also absents one day but he sure that Castiel didn't come three days straight. He wanted to ask the gang what happened to Castiel but was afraid. but now it's getting a bit not normal as Castiel normally doesn't get that many holidays. So he wanted to know. He leaned the next seat as Uriel looked at him

"Hey what happened to that nerd, I didn't see him around after that day" Dean being careful to not looking like interested to know but look like he just asking.

Suddenly Uriel's face got serious.

"Man, he was a pain of the ass, and next day that crazy coach, Singer asked to come to his office and questioned us, but he had no clue that was us beaten the kid, coz he didn't see our faces that day. Good for us he just warned us that's it, then we released" Uriel said with a smirk on his face.

Dean wanted to punch him in his face. For two reasons. one, He knew coach Singer is his uncle but he talked about him dirty in front of Dean without fear, and two, Dean asked about Cas, not what happened to them, asshole knew it and twist the answer to make Dean embarrassment.

Dean cleared his throat and nodded.

"And what happened to the nerd," Dean asked again hiding his eyes from Uriel and looking at the teacher who did his lecture.

"Oh we heard that he had been passed out more than a necessary time then taken to the hospital, after that no hearing about him, who cares, fucking nerd" Uriel answered shrugging his shoulders.

It didn’t calm Dean's irritation inside him. But he resisted the urge to hit this asshole for saying that as simple as that.

He nodded again and acted like he is giving his attention to the lecture and the lesson. His mind was a mess. Fuck Castiel in the hospital. Is he okay, why is he not came to school. if he was already taken to the hospital he must have come back to school by now. It's been three fucking days. If something isn't wrong Castiel never skips the school. Shit shit shit is his life in danger? He never thought that the fucking assholes will beat him like that. But wait why'd I worry about him. After all the things happen between us. I hate him. He is my number one enemy. I don't like the nerd so what?. I have more problems to think about than him. Dean kept saying himself and tried to calm himself, but deep down in his mind, he wished Castiel will be okay soon.

.....

"Kevin just can you please stop your bubbling at least for a while, how many times do I have to tell you that Clarence is okay" Meg rolled his eyes at Kevin who worried and talking about Castiel nonstop.

"Yeah dude, don't worry he is okay now, just having few buries in his chest and stomach that's it, probably he will come back to college tomorrow, he told me so when I called him" Alfie put his hand on Kevin's shoulder and said trying to comfort him.

"Yeah, but this is all my fault, he just tried to help me, but I left him, arrr I'm a such an asshole I'm not a good friend" Kevin started his cry again.

Kevin was a freshman. he got tutorial lessons from Castiel for a few months and Kevin started to hanging out with Castiel's small friends group Meg and Alfie for a while ago. Kevin and Castiel are always aimed by the bullies and Meg was the only one who tried to go against them. No one never tried to bully her but she can't protect her friends always because they all not shared most classes like Castiel and the football team did. So Castiel had to face the bullies by his own.

Meg glared at Kevin this time "You know what, if you don't stop that right now I'm going to kick your ass, we have said thousands of times that it's not your fault and Castiel is alright so stop that right now"

Kevin quickly stopped his cry and got his book ignoring the angry face of Meg who still glaring at him.

.................

Castiel opened his eyes as the alarm goes off. He sighed and got off the bed thinking about making breakfast or not to bother with food today as always. Finally, he decided to not having breakfast as he got ready for college. Castiel missed almost four days in college and he got to catch up lots of school works. He sighed again and grabbed his bag but suddenly arched his back as he felt a pain in his back. He remembered the way those kids hit his back repeatedly when he begs to stop doing that. He didn't want to think about it anymore as he grabbed his bag again hissing at the pain. He decided to take a bus because he still can't walk too far along.

Dean was with his gang, laughing at something Michael said, they were in the corridor of the building near their morning class when Castiel came to his locker. Azazel was the first one who saw him as his face covered with an evil grin.

Oh, look who finally arrived, the fur baby... The little brokenable faggot" He shouted towards Castiel as he scarlet and looked back at the bullies.

Dean quickly looked at Castiel as soon as he heard the fucker's shouting, his face lightened up without even knowing and he felt happy, wondering himself. Castiel is okay. he is fine. Dean barely stopped his smile cursing to himself. What the fuck Winchester, what are you? a teenage girl? Keep your shit together now. he is just your enemy.

Azazel was secretly looking at Dean's face. every time when they engage with anything around Castiel, Azazel never forgot to check and catch Dean's difference and facial expressions. He was an asshole and he wanted to ruin Dean's reputation as he suspected about him in the very beginning.

Dean can't get off his eyes from Castiel as he saw Castiel's face filled with fear by Azazel's shouting. Probably he just thinking that the bullies will hit him again, Dean thought and it killed him inside. Castiel's eyes not blue like other days, his pink lips are pale and no more pink there, it's eating Dean's eye, he felt like he wants to go in front of Castiel and grab him, kissing his pale lips until it's swollen and filled with blood then it would be red pink again, those lips deserve to be glorious. Those should not be pale that's a shame. They were perfect before. what happened to the kid? he looks like shit by the way. Shut the fuck up Dean you are so fucked up.

Alastair nudge Dean and gesture ar the poor kid who was staring at them with a fear-filled face. He looked like he saw a ghost. And he seems so weak. Dean sure if he put a finger on him he will fall into the floor, that much weak. Dean knew he doesn't want to bother about that but he can't even calm himself anymore saying himself that Castiel is fine, he is absolutely not fine, and on the other hand, why is he care. Okay, Dean is absolutely fucked up.

If Castiel wanted to go to his class he must go between the bullies, there is no other way around. And he is afraid to face those assholes but on other hand, he was not a coward at all. But right now he is so weak and he can't go through another trouble. But he had no other choice. As he quickened his steps and stepped towards the class, without even looking at the bullies.

Michael laughed at his way "Hey, boy you look like shit"

Alastair smirked at him " Hell yeah, but not a surprise, he was always a shitty faggot " Then he laughed.

Dean was very quiet, glancing at Castiel's way, now he is a few steps in front of them.

Azazel glanced at Dean's face and smirked, he had a plan and he is going to pop it now.

"Damn, whatever happens, I have to admit that kid is beautiful," He said it in a low voice only for the group can hear it.

Dean's hand clenched and he looked at Azazel and others blast into the laugh.

"What? Isn't he?"

Azazel said again like a joker, every second he gave his secret attention to Dean's expression.

"Oh god, Azazel don't tell us that you are a faggot too, what? are you getting interested in the nerd's bubble virgin ass?" Alastair asked with a cocky laugh.

Dean's eyes go wide with those words. Fuck, is he a virgin? Is Castiel a virgin? No way.

"Guys what are you saying let's mess with him" Uriel beamed and grabbed Castiel by his shoulders when he going between them.

"Uriel please leave me, I can't deal with you right now, please let me go," Castiel said directly looking at Uriel's face.

"Woah easy boy easy, I just wanted to talk with you and ask how you doing after your little vacation," He asked with an innocent voice and all the gang started to laugh. Except for Dean.

Castiel didn't got time to investigate Dean's face as he missed it.

"I'm doing great, thank you, now please let me go" Castiel responded back weakly trying to push Uriel's hand off him.

"Aww now that's so rude of you sweetie, Uriel here is trying to be nice to you but you are not giving him a chance," Alastair said coming into his personal space as Castiel turned his face to other side with a shiver.

"Hey and you know Azazel here think that you are a pretty boy, and I wanted to check is he correct, so let me see you clearly, will you boy?"

Alastair's voice was husky and he touched Castiel's face and turn it into his face.

Dean sees red as he was on the edge. He wanted to punch all the members of his gang and tell Castiel to go away from him. But he can't. He just stayed their gritted his teeth.

Castiel felt an unfamiliar fear.

"Just let me go you assholes" He shouted and pushed Alastair as much as he can as he throwback few steps back, and the bullies laughed at him. It made him angry so much. Alastair looked at him with a murder glare and the next second he slapped over Castiel's face so hard. Castiel didn't expect that as he felt on the floor with a loud sound.

That was the end of Dean's limit as he grabbed Alastair's hand who tried to hit Castiel again.

Azazel's eyes were shining with the hope he was in his winning moment. He knew Dean is going to get the bait and here we go.

"Wait Alastair let me handle it with here," He said and came between Castiel and Alastair. What? What's going on? Azazel looked like in a shock. He thought Dean was gonna hit Alastair. But no he is going to help him. What the fuck Winchester. A hard fucker.

Dean hates Castiel. He can't save him, and of course, he doesn't want to. And he doesn't want to watch the innocent kid get beaten by these demons here. But they are his friends his team he can't give his back to them. And there are some more major reasons that he can't help Castiel. So he used his brain. They were near their classes and probably the teachers have come to classes already. So he stood in front of Castiel. And growled loudly.

"You little shit, you are such pain of ass, do you know your presence can destroy an anything? Huh? you are a useless, weak, broken, empty, not wanting, not cared, fucking piece of shit. you are nothing"

Dean's voice is too loud. He sure can hear to the other corridor too.

Castiel's eyes filled with tears, he knew Dean hates him. But those words cracked him. His face was burning, he can feel the taste of the blood inside of his mouth, probably his one of his teeth crashed inside of his cheeks. And his lips felt like bitten by 100 of ants. It's so hurtful and he was in those pains. But now Dean's words, those are so hurting more than the pain in the mouth.

"What is he doing?" Michael asked with a wondering voice.

"The guy is so pissed, he hates the nerd as hell" Alastair answered with a grin.

But Azazel knew what is he doing. He is helping the Castiel. He groaned himself. Fucking Winchester is a badass. Will see I will catch you soon. He determined.

Now Castiel was crying and stared at Dean as Dean kept shouting hateful comments at Castiel. Within seconds they heard one of a teacher shouting and came to them. Without looking back all the gang ran to their class leaving Castiel along standing there with sobs.

Great, what a start for a new day. Castiel didn't want to sit in the class right now, he wanted to die. He was fed up with his life. He grabbed his fallen bag and ran out of the building and to the outside washroom.

He grabbed the sink and started to cry, louder as he can because he knew no one there to hear him. He cried and cried as much as he can. As much as he wanted to. He looked at the mirror and saw his swollen lips, the bottom lip is split and coming out some blood. He never cared to clean his lips just glaring at them in the mirror. he hated his lips, his face, his body, he hated his fucking whole life. He is not loved, not cared for. Yes, Dean is right. He is nothing. But an unlucky piece of shit.

He gritted his teeth and hit his own reflection of the mirror with his heavy bad. The bag hit the mirror and flying away but below the end of the mirror got cracked a bit and a piece felt down near Castiel's shoes. Without even a second thought he picked it up and shoved up his sleeve of the shirt. Then he ran the mirror piece on his hand a few times, cutting the flesh without even thinking.

The pain was high but he felt its fading the ache of his heart. So that's fine that's what he wanted. It's started to blood leaking in the angry cuts and Castiel quickly washed his hand and all the blood coming out of the cuts. He kept holding his hand to the water until the bleeding stopped. His cry also fading away with the blood. His whole body was hurting. He can't say and point to a place where the pain coming from because everything is hurting. Slowly he put down the sleeves and then he felt it, he was sweating, and also he was trembling and shaking. He tried to breathe slowly, but he can't do it properly as breathe started to shortened and then started to tightness in his throat. He is having a panic attack. His hands gone to his neck grabbing it tightly as he tried to keep calm his breath, he couldn't see anything as everything gone blur. His eyes slowly go to close as suddenly he felt two hands hold his shoulders and shake him. He can hear someone calling him. "Clarence, Clarence look at me hey hey, c'mon. Breath with me slowly. C'mon you can do it honey. C'mon". Castel can hear the voice now. His vision getting to clear and his breath started to steady now. He looked at his friends who have surrounded him and trying to help him get out of the panic. Meg kept holding his hands and caressed his back smoothly talking to him. Slowly Cas got better and he started to cry.

"Hey hey it's okay it's okay, you are okay Clearance" Meg tried to calm him down hugging him tightly. She soothed her hand on his arm telling him it's okay. Kevin was the edge of starting to cry. Alfie also was saying that he is gonna be okay. They stayed there a few minutes before they heard some student's footsteps towards the washroom.

"C'mon let's get out here, you need to eat something Castiel," Alfie said helping Castiel to get on his feer. Kevin picked up Castiel's bag and Meg put his arm on Castiel's shoulder keeping him to her body and they walked towards the cafeteria.

Castiel made sure his hand is not bleeding anymore and not visible to his friends.

"How you guys found me"

Castiels' voice was very weak. His face was flushed and redden with the cry and pain also it made worse, causing his plump split lips and the bloody line there.

"Well, Alfie had seen you running out of the corridor, and then we started to find you. Actually, we couldn't find you easily but glad we found you at the time" Meg said pulling her hand of Castiel's shoulder and make him sit on the chair in the cafeteria. Then others also sat with him.

"Castiel are you okay? You want to go to the school nurse?" Kevin asked with a shaken voice, everyone knew he is the weakest guy in the group as they smiled at him with a knowing face.

"No Kevin, don't worry I'm okay now," Castiel said to him trying to smile but he failed.

"Castiel tell me what happened, those assholes did something again?" Alfie asked.

Castiel just looked down and nodded. He was tired of talking about that.

They even didn't notice the two girls who came near to them until they spoke to them.

"Hey guys, um Castiel are you okay? You look like you are not okay" Charlie said and go around the table to sit near the Meg, looking at Castiel with a worried face.

Castiel lifted his face to see who is that, but after he saw Charlie his expression got different. He quickly adjusted on his seat and bend down a little bit on the table like telling a secret.

"Charlie, Jo, why are you here? I'm okay, thank you for asking, please you go now, I don't want to make more problems" Castiel pleaded.

Charlie, Jo, and Meg shared confusing faces and Jo rolled her eyes.

"Castiel, what's the matter, we just here to check on you, coz we saw you are not ok, you like you are not okay, just as Charlie said here"

Castiel closed his eyes waving his head.

"You don't understand Jo, if anyone saw you two talking with me, then I have to answer to them, then they will hurt me again, I don't want that" He was impatient to send the girls away.

"What was that Castiel, please tell me, how even that's happened? Because I don't let anyone bullies you if I see them doing it, I really want to hit those idiot's ass right now"

Charlie said with a glare as Jo nodded at her agreeing with her.

"Look I always appreciate your kindness Charlie and yours too Jo. But we all know who is your best friend is. Also, last year when you told him to stop bullying me, that earned me an extra hit here and there. So I don't want it now, I know you two always kind to me and.."

Castiel sobbed but Charlie stopped him.

"Woah Woah.. Dude, we are not being kind to you. We are friends of yours, remember F.R.I.E.N.D.S, So we just caring for friends idiot. That's all, but I didn't know about last year's incident until you tell it now, I will definitely take care of it" Charlie said with a determined voice.

Castiel smiled softly at them.

"Yeah, she is a badass you don't worry about anything right now, okay? Meg also reassured Castiel nodding at Charlie.

"So, we can see what happens to you now, that fucking bully team has hurt you again. I don't know why those fuckers do that, I'm ashamed of my cousin sometimes" Jo said with a disgusting expression.

"Actually Castiel, why they always picked on you," Alfie asked. he always wanted to ask that.

"Oh no, not only him, they choose me too, remember the last time, he got to face them because of me" Kevin replied.

"No Kevin, they choose you because they know you are one of my friends, and actually I don't know why me, I never did anything to them" Castiel answered and tried to not think about it further.

Meg took his hand "Hey stupid boy, we know you okay, you don't need to say that you didn't do anything to them, coz we know who you are, you are the kindest kid I ever know" Meg said with a smile on her face.

Again Castiel didn't know how to react to a compliment and also he didn't want to argue with her, so he nodded barely and gave her a tired smile.

"Okay guys, we probably go now, Castiel please remember we are here for you if you want anything okay, and please be careful, see you around bitches" Charlie gave a quick squeeze on Castiel's shoulders, and then both girls are gone.

Meg sighed. "Okay, Clarence you think you can go to the next class? or we can skip it and stay here for a while, and also before that you should eat something you really look like a ghost" Meg said and Kevin go to bring some breakfast for Castiel.

"No no Meg, I can go to the class, I want to go, and I want you all to go your own classes please, and guys thanks for. Thanks for being there for me, it's a big deal for me" Cas replied weakly.

"Hey that's what friends are for," Alfie said patting on his shoulder.

The next hours went without any crazy incidence or troubles and Castiel only wanted to go home and jump to his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So your big kudos and comments are so welcome ❤


	4. The Bait and the Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Dean having a big secret from his past which he doesn't want to even think. And Castiel keep having nightmares about his dark past. Both are fighting for their life in different ways. The weakest will beat by the dark most. Let's see..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends. So I'm having very difficult time and writing this is forgetting about it a bit. And also covid 19 is starting to hit our country for the second time. Hope everyone will save. So please tell me what you think about the fic. Have a great day all 😍😍

Dean closed his locker after grabbing his dirty football jacket and push it inside his bag. He was so tired after the evening practice. Dean was kept checking the time during the whole practice though. He wanted to practice to end quickly then he can go to the hospital and check on his mother. Dean didn't want to stay evening for the practice but Mary was strictly telling him to go for it because she knew Dean already skipped 4 days. Finally, Dean agreed but he never felt that he should go to it. Sam promised to visit mom and Dean being happy about his little brother to get growing up and trying to do things to make sure their family is doing okay. But that's his responsibility, he has to take care of his family. After all, he still thought his family got cracked because of him.

He quickly came out of the locker room as didn't want to hang out with the rest of the ream. He walked towards the parking lot and few girls passed him smiling at him seductively. It's already late evening and he knew what they are asking. But he didn't give much attention to it as he unlocked and opened his car door.

Soon after came back to college after one year, he never wanted to try twice on a chick who he wanted to date. He is a popular guy in college even after a year. His handsome face, easy-going attitude, also his roughness and his Winchester charming were enough to girls to get crazy about him. He never dated one girl for more than two weeks. But never be an asshole to any girl. and girls also never complain about him, they knew Dean Winchester will never fall for them but they just want to get a chance that's it. But anyhow Dean is also popular for womanizer. Sometimes he just kinda like it. That's why he just wink and give the most unique, beautiful, and popular Winchester Smirk and smile when someone mentioned about it. So now, not at the time, right now he didn't have any mood for ladies. He was done with the shit tonight.

He sighed when he closed his car door. He just wondering what happened to Castiel after the morning incident because he never saw him after that. But at least he is not get beaten. But why would he did that, why he got such a risk to save the boy. Okay, it's not quite a "save" Save, but hey c'mon at least the assholes didn't get a chance to beat the kid shit out of him, so it's kinda save.right? But he didn't want to save him the same time. He wanted to see him in pain just as he went through the pain because of him. Anyhow Dean was like a sandwich. He was stuck between two sides of his mind. His phone started to rand at the moment as he got out of his thoughts. He took his phone from his pocket and checked the caller as he smiled softly at the phone screen and click the answer button.

"Hey Charlie what's up," He said with an excited voice. His best friend can always makes him chill.

"What the fucking wrong with you Winchester? Why can't you just let that poor kid live along" Charlie blurted out without even breathing?

"Woah Woah dude what are you talking about," Dean asked but then he got what she meant as he can practically see Charlie rolling her eyes.

"I'm talking about Castiel, you big baby, actually why can't you stop bulling the kid, you can't do that repeatedly you know, it's fucking illegal and I can't believe how anyone like you doing that, especially to HIM, I mean after all the things.."

"Charlie, stop okay, just stop, I don't want to talk about it, I mean NEVER want to talk about it. okay? And for your question, No. I didn't beat him After... After l.. I.. Um you know, after the big time, nope never hit him. But yeah just mess around him. But these guys from the football team did something to him. you know I can't do anything about that. I'm not responsible for that, so technically I'm with clean hands, okay? Now tell me why you bring it now, what's make you doing so" Dean voice kind of surprise also teasing.

" Because technically kid is my friend too, of course, he didn't get that message yet thanks to you, he might think if he accept my friendship you will ruin him for that. And I brought it right now because he was very badly got a panic attack and practically so sick from that bullie's shit when we went to meet him. Poor guy was like a shit, I'm really upset about him. Dean you know he doesn't deserve that, c'mon man he is just an innocent gay kid, Dean can you just, you know think about talking with your football team about going civil on him?" Charlie pealed.

"No Charlie, I'm not doing that, and you know I don't care about that weird shit, I don't give a fuck for him and you better shut your cakehole about that, I don't want to talk about that anymore and if you are done with a negotiation about your charity case I have to go now," Dean said little bit like a pissed off voice.

"Okay dude, you know I'm sorry okay, didn't mean to bring the past, but wanted to tryto ask that favor, hmm okay anyhow give my love to Mary, and drive safe bitch" Charlie wanted to cool down him.

"Okay I will see ya tomorrow Charlie, night," Dean said and his voice was much better than early.

"Good night Dean, see ya"

Dean hangs up and quickly pulled over his baby to the road to go to the hospital. He had lot to talk with his mom and also he just want a nice sleep. He tried not to think about anything Charlie mentioned earlier, he kept trying hard not to think about the darkest past, he hated the dark and evil memories of the past, so he tried to think about anything but not about it.

..

Two weeks passed slowly not having major issues for Castiel, not cutting, not self burning or anything. But only here and there few panic attacks.he made sure keep his desire down and not went to the hospital to see Mary. But he also wished if he could meet her sometimes. But he can't. as he didn't know anything about Mary he can't find her now. Because she must be already gone home now. and other problem was he didn't want to tell his true self to her. So he had to ignore her. 

That afternoon Castiel was reading a book in the library he was so focused on the book as didn't notice the green eyes staring at him. Dean never comes to the library. Only the most important moments he visited there. And today Dean had to find this book for his next assignment and here he was stuck in here.

Okay buddy, not a big deal, just find the book and get out of here that's the plan. He just murmured rubbing his palms together as he stepped to the library. The first thing he did was given the Winchester Charmin smile to the librarian then went through all the book racks finding his book until he saw him. Dean just stopped right there and stared at Castiel. Castiel looked so calm, absolutely concentrate on the book, he had no sense about what happening around him. Dean's face lightning up slowly with a soft warm smile quickly to change a soft chuckle as he saw Castiel had held a blue color pencil between his ear and his head. Probably he forgot that he had hold it there. Dean chuckled again. He didn't know what is he doing. He just stared at Castiel and chuckled. Then Castiel decided to that's the perfect time to bit his lips unknowingly what he is doing. It's kind of his habit. When he is doing something interesting he bit his lips unintentionally. But Dean wanted to stop him. damn that soft-looking, pink, and plump lips, getting hardly bit by those teeth. Mmm Dean wanted to do that for him. He just wanted to storm there, grab the kid and kiss the shit out of him. To kiss those pink lips, those broad and pink and already Well-bitten lips. Hell, what the fuck was he doing no no no not again. Every time he gets a chance to glance over this weirdo he did that, just staring at him especially on his stupid lips. But why the hell. I have to get out here, he thought but too late Castiel's ocean blues was aiming at him. He looks scared, and With a thousand times of questioning look on his face. Like what the hell is going on. Dean's eyes got wide. didn't know when he caught up by Castiel. However, he saw him now. He had to run hide or anything, to vanish from here. With that thought, he turned around like a flash and hit on someone. Dean cursed and grabbed the nearest book rack to balance himself.

"Fuck, Azazel? What the fuck are you doing here?" Dean's voice mixed with anger and a little bit of fear. Fear of the question his mind asking which is, if Azazel saw anything that he was kept doing here.

"Winchester, afternoon, I was just having fun here," Azazel said with a calm and teasing voice with a smirk on his face making Dean angrier.

"What kind of fucking fun you taking from the library Azazel?" Dean asked his heartbeat is raised slowly.

"Of course looking at....." Azazel intentionally stopped his answering to look between Dean and Castiel grinning this time.

"Books. Of course. Looking at books, and what about you?"

He completed.

"What about me?" Dean asked like he is ready to punch his face if he ever mentions anything about Castiel.

" What are you doing here Dean, I can hardly guess you are looking for a book for your assignment, am I correct?" He asked smirking again.

" Yes of course I am. And I'm done with it " Dean said that and stormed past him towards the door.

Castiel was looking at the entire seen and quickly get his eyes on his books soon as Dean rushed out before Azazel make any drama here. He saw the look on Dean's eye, they were not angry eyes, but he was staring, Castiel shivered for a moment with that thought. Never mind, you know what ever. Because everytime everything about Dean, ending up with a disaster on Castiel's life. So he left that scene from his mind. He just want to live in peace for few minutes. That's it. Then he noticed Azazel is still checking out him. 

Azazel just smirked at Castiel and disappear in the bookshelves.

........

As a habit, the Football team used to hang out and getting beer sometimes in the evenings, in the dark. After a Long time, Dean also joined them today. Dean was on his baby. Laying there holding his beer. Others had a beer and smoked.

"You know I think we can beat the Royals this coming up match without a game, heard the captain caught when making out with the coach," Michael said before laughing loudly. And whole the gang started to laugh.

"Holy fuck, then what had happened?" Uriel asked with an interesting tone.

"As the rumors captain and coach both are spelled out and there is this new coach. They say that he is experiencing less and nerd, so we have a big chance this time" Michael answered.

"Yeah, that's right" Alastair joined.

"Talking about the gay devils, I saw our nerd cocksucker today in the library" Azazel started barely looking at Dean.

Dean's mouth got dry as he quickly got a big sip from his beer.

"Who? That Castiel boy?" Raphael asked.

"Hell yes, that's him, so do you know that he is still a virgin? And he is not having any alcohol?" He said with fake interest in his voice.

"No fuck. That boy toy isn't a virgin, I bet lots of men and boys have already fucked that plump ass" Alastair answered making the gang laugh loudly expect Dean. Dean's teeth-gritting he wanted to punch Azazel so hard now, what is he doing. Had he saw anything earlier today?.

" Nope no chance, I'm pretty sure, and I'm guarantee that he is a dedicated virgin" Azazel compromised.

"Fuck that's strangely weird, but the guy's smart mouth is too much," Uriel said and sipped his beer.

"Yeah I noticed that too. seems like have to give him a big lesson" Alastair's voice came like a horse. Dean not sure he is not just smoking definitely he must be mixed something else too, he is looking like too high.

"Hmm, and I know what kind of lesson the pretty boy wants, as many boys in our college wants to ruin that ass why'd we give that chance for them" Azazel smirked at Dean.

" Isn't it Dean" Dean never expected that kind of a punch on his gut as he shocked?

"Isn't it what Azazel? you know what? I don't want to listen to your bullshits and just bring it on what you got in your shitty brain of yours" Dean sit up and blast off.

Azazel laughed bitterly.

"Dean Dean Dean, c'mon man. You don't need to be rude like that, I was going to giving you a chance to fuck that kid, as I know you can't keep it yourself, you just want to ruin the kid, aren't you now De.." Azazel couldn't have time to finish as Dean jump and punched on his face so hard. Alastair and Raphael grabbed Dean yelling to stop. Azazel touched his bleeding lips and spat.

"Leave me, Alastair I'm gonna show this little fucker what I really want to do now, I want to hit his fucking face until it can't recognize anymore" Dean yelled trying to get rid of them.

"Dean just calm down. And you, what the fuck Azazel, Dean hate the guy. Don't you remember how he treated that cocksucker last year?"

"Alastair asked with a little anger.

"Hell I remember, but I can say surely Dean the womanizer is a little bit gay for Castiel's virgin ass and he is like that cocksucker, isn't it Dean?" Azazel smirked and said.

That word was the deadline for Dean. He saw the red, what in the hell someone call him gay. No fucking way.

Next second Dean managed to push Alastair and Raphael from him and hit Azazel two more punches. But all of the gang grabbed him this time yelling both to stop.

"Fuck you and your fucking guesses Azazel, I'm not a fucking gay you fucker. And I don't have anything for that cocksucker. Just let me go and then I will show you who is gay. Let me go, let me go Michael" Dean yelled like a mad man.

"Dean, if you are so sure that you are not gay and you are not having feelings for the nerd, then proved that, let's make a bet," Azazel said with a sly grin with his bloody mouth.

"Fuck you asshole and fuck your bet. I don't want to prove anything to you" Dean yelled he is still trying to get rid of them but the gang made sure to not let him go.

"What? you even didn't listen to the bet, the nerd is never coming to any party, not even for a one, so we give you 4 months, after 4 months there is Raphael's birthday, and he throws a huge party every year, I'm sure this year will be the same, right Raphael?" Azazel kept saying ignoring Dean's cursing at him.

"Shut the fucking up Azazel. no one wants to hear your fucking story just fucking stop". He yelled again.

"What's the matter, boy? it's kind of interesting. just let this man say it" Alastair smirked and signed Azazel to continue.

"So, you only have to take the virginity of Our dedicated little cocksucker and bring him to Raphael's party. Then you win the bet and we assume that you are a not gay you just an old womanizer Dean Winchester and also a badass, if not... " Azazel stopped as the gang cheers to the bet already saying that was a great idea.

"If you lost I mean if you didn't do one of them, we are assuming you are a Gay looser, we announce that you are a gay though the entire college and then you have to color your precious impala with rainbow colors for 6 months" Azazel continued. The gang started to laugh loudly.

"No, that's not gonna happen, fuck you, you know what? fuck you and your fucking bet for thousand times. I'm done with this fuck, just let my hands fucking go". He yelled and struggled. This time he successfully released his hands and tried to jump on Azazel again.

But Alastair came between the two and hold his hand out signing to stop Dean.

"Hey stop, what's the matter, we all are very interesting and like to the idea but what's your big problem with that boy?" He asked.

"Fuck you, Alastair, if you like it why don't you make the bet with this asshole, and do whatever fuck you want" Dean was beyond the angry as he answered quickly.

"Well, I really like to say it must be you, to get the bet because the whole college knows you are the number one enemy of Castiel" Raphael added.

" Yeah, you kept saying you hate the boy, but you barely hit him these days, what's the Matter Dean? Are you really having to feel for him" Azazel asked again?

Before Dean yell at him or say anything all the gang started to ask questions.

"Yeah, he is right. Dean, are you chicken out now?"

"What? If you are not like that, you have to prove that Azazel is wrong"

"C'mon Dean you are better than this get the bet man, it's fun"

"Dean c'mon man prove that you are not a gay"

Dean gritted and hit his empty beer bottle on the floor as it broke into pieces. Dean shouted loudly.

"Shut the fucking mouth of yours, tell me how someone prove that he is not gay boy, by fucking another gay boy" He yelled.

"Oh, in that case, this is just a bet, so according to that theory if you fuck a gay it doesn't make you a gay, coz the rules of the bet are made by us to giving you chance to prove how much you hate him and you are not a gay"Azazel said.

"And besides if you want more proofs, my girlfriend Lilith is not a Lesbian as of course you know we are dating, and not even a Bi. But we make a bet and she fucked this random lesbian girl from the bar, and she even got photos to prove it. So she won" He said again.

"Wow that's amazing" Uriel added.

"Hell yeah that is, so Dean what do you saying, are you in?" Azazel asked Dean.

Dean gritted his teeth. He was shaking from anger. He slowly stepped towards Azazel.

"You know, if you have that much of gut about that, why don't you do that by yourself huh? Who knows maybe you have a crush on him, aren't you?" Dean didn't know how he even said that. He never thought to say that, he didn't even want to think this douchebag having a crush on Castiel, but here he is throwing his last rock on the game.

Azazel laughed out for that.

"Oh Dean, c'mon man, you are better than this, I thought you get my message already, but seems like you didn't want to accept that, well guys if you want more details I can show you a very interesting thing happened today" Azazel replied with his calm voice pissing off Dean more.

Oh fuck great, he had seen me, he caught me, shit I'm so stupid. Shit shit now what I'm going to say. Dean was clueless and so much pissed.

"What's that Azazel?" Michael asked.

"Well, when I came to this library today, I caught up this loverboy here, staring at Castiel, he was kinda stalking him" Azazel gave an evil smile at Dean. His mouth was swollen by Dean's punch and already have a purple and swollen eye.

"You little fucker, I didn't stalk anyone no one in this college, I never fucking do that, and I'm not staring at him, yes I saw him there, and I, I was just thinking when I see him, how much I hate this little rat, that's it, I wasn't staring fuck at anyone" Dean yelled.

"Yeah yeah bullshit, he was staring at Castiel clearly for 7 minutes, if you want to see I got a clip" Azazel laughed this time and showed his phone to the eager football team who's trying to watch it, yelling they can't believe it.

Dean knew he fucked up.

"That's nothing, you can't say anything on that, and I'm not into your fucking bet, and Azazel I'm going to teach YOU a lesson for messing with me, messing with DEAN WINCHESTER"

he said highlighting his name because he had no more thing for his cover. This was his nightmare, fucking Azazel ruin him completely. He isn't gay. What if anyone else hears these rumors. Even it's not true it will spread like a hot cake then everyone will talk about it. That's how wrong news spread. No no no he can't let this happen. No. Not again.

"Well Dean do you have anything to say to save yourself now," Alastair asked after watching the clip with others. His voice Cruraly happy and teasing.

"Nooo, Okay? I said I don't want to prove anything you assholes, Azazel that's it, c'mon give me your fucking phone, and stop your bullshit, this is too much, don't go too far which you can't hold my punches"

Dean threatened and tried to get Azazel's phone.

All boys smirked at each of them.

"Oh your poor thing, there is no clip in my phone, you got the bait"

Dean knew he fucked up for the second time. He didn't know what to say now. He got a few seconds to think about anything.

"I'm done with all of your bullshit. I'm out and you fuckers be ready for the consequences" Dean gritted his teeth. But before he leaves Alastair stopped him.

"Hey c'mon Dean, if you hate that fag that's much this is a good chance for you and we can remind the whole college that who are you again, and also show us who are you, because man, we also forget who you were before" He smirked.

"Fuck off Alastair " Dean rushed to his car.

"Hey, Dean you didn't listen what happens if you win the bet" This time Azazel said.

"Whatever fuckers I don't have more time for your crap," Dean said even not bothering to look back.

"Coach already said to Michael to consider the team changes, Michael is the one who propose the team for next big game. So if you win this bet Michael going to put your name to the list. Man that's your biggest chance. You know how hard you playing this few months you can't jump in to the list, because you are new to the team after the absence of the year. As lot's of players names are there above you. They are also good like you. You know that.and also we know how much this football match important to you.so this is your only chance Dean. Azazel said and Michael agreed saying that is true. 

Dean can't believe what he heard. They knew exactly what is his weak points and they hitting on them. He can't be lost the chance to play this match. It's the first match he playing after he came back to college and maybe he can fix his family issues with the match. He knew his Dad damn like to see he play and won a football match after a long time. So this is his chance to show him who he is and he is still his man of the man son. But that bet. It's directly driving him to his nightmare. No no no there must be another way. He will find it. He will figure out something else.

Dean still was there standing up and thinking about the new offer then suddenly he showed them the middle finger and gave a death glare. And he got into the car, flew out there with his baby's roar. He was so fucked up.

........

Castiel tried to open his eyes as he felt he is shaking. He can't even move, the coldness is too much as he wanted two blankets, yes he had lots of clean blankets in his closet. He just have to go and get in from the closet. He finally opened his eyes, what? Where am I? Why is everywhere is so dark? I can't see anything. I'm so cold. He can felt tears are already running down. He slowly stood up and tried to pull his shirt more tightly around him. What? He quickly glanced down at him. Oh no. He is not wearing anything but his brief. He felt his fingers are numb, he wanted to shout for help, but his throat is not doing that its freeze. He saw a very null weak light coming from his door. Oh, that's it. He is outside of his house. If he can walk there he can go inside, Castiel tried to walk toward the door, which side that weak and shaking light were. But he can't do that because the ice level is too high as it's now on his shoulder level, but how it happened?. He tried to shout again. But his voice is not coming out, the coldness is can't even imagine. He felt like he was already frozen as he can't move anymore. Suddenly he felt like he can't breathe anymore. No no what's happening he started to struggling and shout but he failed to do so. He can't breathe a bit now. Oh my god, my breath is hitching. God, please help. Then he felt his both legs not working anymore, the next second his both hands stopped sensing anymore and go completely numb. He can see they are frozen. Then he tried to yell again. Then his head frozen and he only can see his eyes got wide in his iced head. Then his heart stopped.

Castiel shouted and sit on the bed, he was shaking and crying. He can still feel the cold in his vines. His whole body was covered with sweat. he just tried to breathe in and out slowly to a rhythm. He started to sobbing slowly. He can't get rid of those nightmares ever. Every day he was suffering from it. He stayed on the bed because he didn't want to go to college it's Saturday. He stayed until his mind is ready for thinking far away from his nightmare. then he figured out he needed something to eat something when he pulled on his pajama pants, they are getting huge for him now. Great, he is getting skinny Because he had used to skip eating and lots of his meals. He sighed and opened the fridge to get something to eat. Awesome there is nothing to eat besides a few spoiled veggies and expired milk carton. He checked the cupboard and luckily his Chocolate Cereal was there, but only a few spoons. But it was satisfied right now. So he figured out that he needs to go shopping for groceries now. Actually, he didn't get any groceries after Gabriel visited two weeks ago. So he ate quickly it without milk. And get ready to go to the shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So your big kudos and comments are so warmly welcome. See you soon 😍😍


	5. New friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Mary and Sam get to know about Castiel, but not all of his secrets. Everything are still so twisted and a mess. Will see😍😍

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm waiting for the ideas about my fic 😍😍 I like to make mistakes if there any. Thanks 😍😍😍

"Um, Charlie, I have a question?" Dean said. He spent the entire night thinking about what happened to him that night. He couldn't believe that anyone caught him. Someone caught what he is doing sometimes when he sees Castiel anywhere randomly. Actually, he can't help it, it just happens. Even it's getting a few minutes for him to understand what's going on with him or that he keeps staring. So the only one he could speak with that is Charlie.

"Dean, what's up, bring it? You sound like weird man" Charlie said.

"Actually, um I don't know how to ask this or what to ask Charlie," Dean said before running his hands through his hair. It's Saturday morning and he was still on his yesterday clothes. He was a mess.

"dude what's going on? Is everything alright " Charlie got serious this time.

"Yeah yeah I'm alright I'm cool" Dean sighed and said.

"Okay, you are clearly not and don't be a drama queen and tell me what's going on" Charlie was impatient to hear what Dean going to say.

"What? I'm not a drama queen. Charlie that's you. Not me" Dean fight back. Imagine Charlie's eye-rolling.

"Ok ok, whatever so you gonna tell it or what," She said in a very low making Dean chuckled, he knows Charlie can't hold it when it's come to secrets.

"Charlie just, just be honest with this okay, just tell me what you genuinely think okay," He said thinking about how he gonna put this out.

"Yeah I will, I gotcha, bring it" 

" Do you think, I mean sometimes I'm, you know when I thinking about anything deeply, um actually don't know what I'm doing, okay? I guess everyone is like that, and a... Do you think I... Um staring at people when I do so? I mean that's pretty normal, right? There is nothing special" Dean chuckled like a stupid before ending his question.

"Dean? Are you kidding me" Charlie asked.  
"What? what did you mean by that?" Dean not sure what she is going to say.

"Dude that's not normal, and maybe people would do that, but the thing you keep doing is not normal, and for the record, you are not staring at people Dean, you are starting at only one person in this world and that's Obvious. I think everyone can see that" Charlie said like it's a day today thing and she is not surprised by that.

Dean gulped. Hell, he is in trouble. Is it that much obvious?

"Okay that's not true, right? You are kidding right Charlie?" He was dying to ask whom the one, she thinks that he is starting at. But he was also scared to know the answer.

"Nope I'm not kidding and I'm serious like a heart attack" Her answer was very clear.

"Look Dean, you know I'm your best friend but you still keep hiding secrets from me, I know that and it's okay because I know when it's time to say it you will eventually tell it to me, but I'm kind of know what's going on but I'm not gonna push it because that's not true friends doing, okay? But I want you to know that whatever happens I'm here for you man, okay?" Charlie said in a very lovely voice to make Dean feel better.

"Thanks, Charlie," Dean said after few seconds as his mind was processing.

"anytime darling. And also I was talking about Castiel earlier when I'm mentioned that starting thing, and before you comment any bullshit about that I'm gonna go, okay see you around man" With that she hangout leaving Dean in a shock.

Dean could hear Charlie smirks saying that. Fuck her, she knew how to make his brain paralyzes for a moment. Anyhow he didn't want this to happen anymore. Castiel is clearly his enemy and he hates the guy. That's it. Nothing to think about. And this staring thing is ridiculous. Fuck Azazel. He is not gonna care about that shit anymore.

"Dean, son I'm going to the grocery store, do you want anything?" Dean heard Mary asking from the downstairs.

"Mom, you going out? No no, you are still not a completely fine mom, you can't go out" Dean jumped out of the bed and rush to the downstairs to face Mary who was putting her both hands on her waist and glaring at Dean. And Sam was beside her waving his head like he is disappointed.  
"Yeah, that's the same thing that I said to her Dean" And she only gave me the exact same glare" Sam complained.

"Oh c'mon boys, I'm not a kid, I can't stay in the house all the time, besides it has been more than two weeks and I'm completely fine now" And I'm only going to the grocery" She answered back putting her hands up like complaining.

"Okay, we know you are not a kid but Mom.." Dean didn't complete what he was gonna say as he saw his mom keep glaring at him.

"Okay okay mom, you can Go. but let me change my clothes and I'm gonna come with you" Dean said before rolling his eyes towards his mom's child behavior.

"Dean it's okay, I already said that I'm going with her after arguing with her first" Sam said standing behind Mary and Dean can see he is already got ready for going out. Dean nodded at him.

"Okay then be safe mom" Don't try to lift anything, give all the heavy stuffs to this big moose" Dean smirked.

"Go away jerk," Sam said with a bitch face.

"You better keep eyes on mom, got it Bitch?" Dean yelled as Sam gone out.

"ok ok I will be fine sweetie, don't worry and hey don't do that be nice to your little brother" Mary smiled at him and joined Sam.

Dean smirked and waited until they go and close the door.he went to his room thinking about a warm bath. He had football practice in the afternoon so he got more time to kill. He can play a video game or maybe watch some movies until then.

...........

Castiel chose black skinny jeans and a purple long-sleeve shirt.and of course didn't forget his trenchcoat. That makes him feel kind of safe with that. He got a shopping cart and start walking along the aisles. Castiel kinda like this. Like to walk and choose the groceries and stuff he wants. And touching, smelling products. it's a kinda beautiful thing. Castiel loved that feeling. He walked slowly and chose what he wants, but he was not a very fancy buyer. He only brought what he wants and never used the money for unnecessary stuff. He was in his own thoughts as he never gave his attention to the other people who walk around him.

"Sam, can you put two milk cartons into the cart?" Mary asked while checking her list. She made sure to not touching anything as Sam kept asking to tell him what to pick then he will do it for her and she must not touch anything.

"Yeah got it, what else?" Sam asked grabbing milk cartons.

"Let me see, ah I saw this one on this rack, wait Sam I'll check," Mary said and turned to the other side to find what she wants to get, Sam also came behind her pushing the grocery cart with him, but Suddenly Mary stopped and signed Sam to stop too. Her surprised face aimed towards the few racks ahead.  
Sam was scared of her behavior and quickly came in front of her and grabbed her hand.

"Mom, are you okay? Is anything wrong? Mom? What..what are you looking at?

Sam asked and then he checked the side she was looking at then again at her face.

"Sam, you remember the Clarence who saved me," She asked without getting her eyes from the side she was looking at.

"Yes mom yes, how could I forget him when you daily remind about him" Sam answers impatiently.

"That's him, Sam," She said pointing towards the boy who was walking slowly and grabbing items, few meters ahead of them.

" Wow are you sure, then let's go and talk to him mom, you were so upset that you will never meet him again, so now we found him so let's go and talk to him" Sam was beyond the happy as he said grinning like an idiot. He was going to walk toward the boy but suddenly Mary pulled him back making him surprised.

"No Sam we can't do that," She said going backward with Sam and got cover behind the store racks.

"What? Why is that? I can't understand Mom, why'd we hiding like this" Sam asked with a very confused voice and he was kind thinking that his mother is acting like weird.

"Look at him Sam, he is so protective himself for some reason, look, he is even walking very carefully, I mean when he came to me that day, in the hospital, I noticed that he is scared of something. like he was hiding from something, and that's proven when his information is all wrong which he gave to the hospital and also he never came back to meet me, so what you think will happen if we go and talk to him right now," Mary asked while keep eyeing at the boy who still finding something from the racks.

Oh, that's kind of make sense Mom, but what we going to do now" He asked without even knowing what's her Mom was thinking right now.

" I think we should wait until he done his shopping then we are going to follow him," Mary said with a determination.

"What? Mom, we can't do that, I mean it's kind of stalking" Sam was scared of that idea.

"Oh c'mon Sam, why'd one old mother and a young boy stalking another boy. We are not stalking we are going to make sure he is okay, I mean I feel like he has a big problem with him, but he is scared to share it, who knows maybe we can help him" Mary said still keep looking at the boy's side.

Sam rolled his eye "Okay mom when did you start the detective job, mom I think you have hit your head that day, and now you think that you are the Sherlock Holmes, aren't you?" Sam said chuckling at his Mom.

Mary glared at him and then chuckled. When she looked at the boy her face changed again.

"Sam, come let's go, he is going," Mary said and signed Sam to let go of the shopping cart. And they walk very slowly behind the boy and waited for him to put his bags inside the old truck and leaving the grocery park.

After he leaves Mary and Sam also got into their car and started following the boy.

.......

Castiel was in deep thought. He got few vegetables, fruits, milk, cereal, bread, some fruit juice, sausages, and bacon. Also a few stuffs he was remembered to buy, then he paid the bill and came back home.

Castiel is a very neat kid, he never put his works behind his back. As soon as came back home he put all the grocery bags on the counter and started to unpack them. arranging all the stuff in the right places. After all are settled he thought he will get some quick shower before cocking something to eat as he felt he was starving.

Then he heard a knock on his door. Castiel's face changed to a question look as he wondered who must be coming right now. Because he doesn't have many visitors, hell he never had any visitors besides Gabriel. even Meg, Adam or Kevin were never came to his house. So who would be this? He thought walking towards the door. If that was the night he would be definitely asked who is this before open the door, but since its daytime, he thought that's not necessary as he slowly opened the door. The next second his eyes go high and he grabbed the side of the door putting his whole weight on it to keep him standing.

"Hey Son, Clarence good afternoon" Mary greeted smiling with a huge happy face and Sam gave him a surprised smile and nod. Castiel was just staring at them wordlessly and surprise. Then he realized he must say something.

"Mrs. Campbell or I mean Mary? How did you find me?" He just asked but the next second he cursed himself for being rude to that sweet lady. Mary was going to answer that but before she says something Castiel opened the door widely covering his face with one hand as he did some mistake.

"Oh god, now where is my manners, I'm so sorry Mary, would you like to come inside?" He barely asked smiling at them. But inside him, he was so scared. He knew Gabriel hate to see Castiel dealing with strangers and Castiel also not familiar with many people. He was getting panicked every time when there is something happened not normal for his simple and boring life. So he had to very careful to be nice to his guests and also keep it quick meeting and make sure they go quickly. and never come back. But how he going to do that, this women's smile made his heart full of peace. Her voice made him feel like he is in safe hands.so how he gonna do that

"Actually Clearance I want to apologize for braking in to your house like this" Mary started as soon as they sitting on the couch.

"No Mary it's not a problem, I'm glad that you came" Okay now where are these coming from Castiel? He never wanted to say that, it's eventually coming out, yeah because that's the truth. How much Castiel wanted to be alone, be invisible to the whole world, he hated to be so. He was just a kid who lives like an orphan mostly. So he also craving for any company but he never had those.

Mary gave a kind smile at him.

"Clarence, this is my younger son, Sam. Sam this is Clearance the brave kid who saved my life that day" Mary introduced them and Castiel feel like an asshole for giving them a fake name but also he felt huge happiness when he heard those words. he barely heard people saying nice things to him as he mostly heard full of hate, embarrassing or insulting things toward him in his whole life even without any reason.  
Sam saw Castiel's face getting red as he quickly holds his hand towards Castiel.  
"It's very nice to meet you Clarence, and I don't know how to thank you for doing that, I mean, dude I really owe you a big time," He said.

Castiel quickly holds his giving hand and shook it with a huge smile on his face. The kid looks like younger than him maybe a few years or maybe even his age. But he looks like very kind as like as his mother.

"It's nothing Sam, don't worry, " Castiel said letting go of Sam's hand.

"Oh Mary how are you now, I hope you are fully recovered," Castiel asked turning to Mary.

"Yes son, I'm completely fine, but my sons still treat me like I'm not," Mary said rolling her eyes and pointing to Sam who chuckled softly.

"I can understand. Oh and let me make something for you" Castiel didn't ask, but just directly offer a drink. Great Castiel what are you doing?

"Oh it's fine Clarence you don't need to bother we are fine," Mary said waving her hand towards Castiel.

"No Mary it's not a big deal, just give me a minute," Said and Castiel rushed to the kitchen area. It's totally visible to the living room as they could talk while Castiel making drinks for them.

"So how did you find me actually," Castiel asked while walking around the kitchen.

Sam quickly looked at his Mom. She signed with her eyes as it's okay.

"Actually Clarence I saw you in the grocery store. I called out for you but you didn't hear me as you were already in your truck. So then I really wanted to meet you so I came after you" She said and Sam tried to not look at Castiel's face and he smiled fake and half-smile at the floor.

"Oh is that so, my bad" Castiel said while carried two teacups. The whole living room filled with an amazing herbal aroma as Sam's eyes go high.

" Here you go, I didn't ask what you prefer but I guessed you like some herbal tea, but Sam if you don't like it would you like a cola?" Castiel asked politely.

"Are you kidding me Man?" Sam said while grabbing the teacup with a hankering face on his mind. Castiel was looking at him with a surprise.  
Mary smiled at him getting her teacup.  
"He just loves herbal tea products, Clarence," She said.  
Sam inhaled deeply in his tea before getting a sip from it. Then he moaned and closed his eyes like he is enjoying the aroma and taste. Castiel's face lightened with a beautiful smile.

"Man this is just, wow amazing taste, Clarence thank you man, thank you very much for this tea it's marvelous," Sam said and kept drinking his tea.

"So Clarence if you don't mind may I ask that are your parents here?"

Mary asked suddenly even it looks like Castiel is living alone at least to this point.

With that question, he got pale within seconds. And he didn't answered for that as only staring at Mary wondering how to answer that. He didn't want to lie to Mary anymore, but same time he didn't want to tell his life story to this lovely and kind lady here and make her disappointed.

"Clarence? Are you okay? You are getting pale son" Mary said putting back her already empty teacup on the table.

"Yeah, I'm... Um, I'm fine Mary, it just ahem. Actually, I'm living here with my brother at the moment" He barely completed and smiled weakly then he saw Sam had finally stopped drinking his tea and was looking at them above his teacup.

Whatever reason that makes Castiel chuckled and he felt the guy is funny at some point. He can't believe how quickly he became normally after Mary's question. Normal if anyone asking questions like that he ending having a panic attack. But here he is chuckling at the poor guy who was in love with his herbal tea.  
It's kind of surprised Castiel, but only in a good way.

"Sam, would you like another cup of herbal tea?" Castiel asked making himself surprised.

With that question, Sam's face lightened up in seconds and he held his teacup to Castiel.

Castiel started chuckling again and got the teacup from his hands, excusing himself.  
He brought back a hot tea and gave it to Sam as he started inhaling, drinking, and moaning again.  
Castiel smiled at him and looked at Mary with a more relaxing smile on his face for the first time after they came here.

"So Mary, my apologies for not came back to see you. I really wanted to come, but because of these little things that I had to deal with, I was kinda busy past weeks, that's why I missed it" He said because that's the only way making her think that Castiel never ignores her. Because he didn't want to Mary to think that he didn't care about her. Okay, what are you doing Castiel?

"Hey it's totally okay, but if I am being honest I kinda waited for you to come back but now it's fine. We all met again" Mary said squeezing softly his shoulder.

"Oh almost forget, Son give me your phone number, here add it to my phone please" Mary gave her phone to Castiel as he took it without any hesitation and entered his number in her phone.

"Done, and please give me a ring cut Then I will save your number" Said with a smile. Way to go Castiel way to go. What are you doing? Exchanging the numbers? His mind screamed at him, but he didn't care or he hadn't time to care as he was having a wonderful time with these wonderful people after a long time or he can say for the first time in his life.

"Ahem, dude actually I have one question about this golden tea, Where did you buy it? " Sam asked finally putting his second empty cup on the table.

Castiel gave him a kind smile.  
"Actually Sam, I made it here myself, I normally go and find the ingredient that I want in various flavors. Then I blend and mix them and I have two more flavors" He answered and got blushed the second he saw Sam's face. Sam looks like he saw a golden deer.

"Really Clarence? You are an amazing person, really amazing person" He said with awe.

Castiel blushed more and smiled at him.

Mary chuckled at Sam.  
"So Sam if you are done with your herbal teas can we go now I'm sure Clarence must has lots of works to do," Mary said standing.

Sam smiled and nodded.

Mary came near to Castiel and hugged him so warm hug. It was so lovely. Castiel never expected that and he barely hold the tears, because it's been a very very long time he got a hug like this. He hugged back Mary and he closed his eyes and he reminded about his Mom. After second Mary pull out and took Castiel's both hands.  
"Son, these days The Kindness and Braveness is a very rare thing, people are so cruel. But the thing you did that day, I will never forget that son, and remember, me and my family will be there for anything for you, you can contact me anytime for anything, please remember that, okay?" She asked and Castiel just nodded. Because he knew if he talks right now he will cry.

Then Mary let go of his hands caressed his head.  
Then before he turned toward Sam to say bye, he pulled into another bear hug as Sam hugged him so tightly. The giant kid is a completely different one. Castiel felt happy and remind Gabriel. He never got a hug like this besides him. A real one. He hugged back with happiness.  
Finally, Sam pulled back and thank him again.

Castiel suddenly said him to wait a minute and ran to the kitchen. He came back with two cute little bottles. And handed over them to Sam who looked at him with a surprise.  
"Um, Clarence what are these" Sam asked without go and open the lid.

"Um, this is my other two flavors of herbal teas, I hope you will like them," He said bit a shy voice.

Sam quickly gave another quick hug and thank him again for that.

"This is amazing man, god this aroma is so nice. the best herbal teas I have ever had in my life, thanks again dude," He said keeping the bottles to his chest.

Finally, they said their byes to Castiel and gone promising will meet again soon.

Castiel signed and closed the door. He felt happy and peaceful after years. That's strange but in a good way.

.........

Dean got changed to his practice attire but still, he didn't meet anyone of the team. He is not even late today. Maybe the team must gone to the ground already, he thought and jogging to the ground quickly. But to his wonder, no one was there too. Normally when it's coming to practice time Coach Rufus will be there before at least 30 minutes but today even Coach is not there. Strange. Dean rotated another round confusing and then decided to call Michael.  
The call connected and within the first ring, Michael answered the phone. As soon as he answered Dean recognized that he is on the loudspeaker as he can hear the other voices coming from the background.

"Hellooow Winchesssterrr what's up" Michael was definitely drunk. His voice came with a chuckle.

"Oii Winchester why the hell you miss the Practice today morning" That's Raphael.

"Boy, that's not what you should do when you have a big game very near future" Azazel joined with his fucking nasty high voice.

"Oh yes, Coach Rufus is not happy with that and he is gonna think again about your position on the team," Alastair said and the team burst into a laugh as Dean started to grit his teeth. Now he understand what's happened there. That's a cruel plan against him. Just as they said last night.

"You fuckers, you think you did a great job? Huh? You know what Michael, you can't get decisions on your own. I will take care of this and you all gonna be face to the consequences"  
Dean yelled and hang up. He felt anger falling out of his ears. He will take care of these assholes soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how's it? Hope you enjoy. Your big comments and likes are welcome 😍😍


	6. The beginning of the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't touch me Winchester" Castiel said and tried to walk away from Dean. But before even he thinks what happened Dean grabbed Castiel's both hands and pinned it above his head to the locker. Castiel's eyes went wide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Supernatural season 15 episode 18 is definitely a turning point for all of us💚💙.
> 
> So my fellow Destiel lovers it's cannon and we got it❤❤ but so sad the way it's end. Still crying but damn it's happened💚💙
> 
> I mean, just just the way Cas said it to Dean, man that's incredible. I felt like it's a REAL real happening in my real life.
> 
> I had 97℅ of faith it's gonna be happened. But god knows never expected that, this much powerfully. That's a huge one.💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙
> 
> And the way that's happened, god still can't believe ❤❤ 🙏
> 
> I want to scream saying DESTIEL IS CANNON😂😂  
> but our Cas😭😭😭😭😭 I still have a hope tho.
> 
> Anyway I know one thing. even I don't have a love story in my life, now I can die happily as Destiel is a thing, it's cannon ❤❤
> 
> And I felt that moment like Cas's confess to Dean is more deeper as it felt like Misha said it to Dean too❤❤💙💚
> 
> So we won guys we won.❤❤

The weekend flew very fast as on Monday morning Castiel got ready for college. He was so fresh, very enthusiastic this morning. Actually, his feelings were fresh. Since after Mary and Sam left that day he felt like he is covered with hugs. Even he made foods for him after a long time. And today morning he also had leftovers from last night, the mac and cheese were yummy. And this morning he prepared some peanuts and jelly sandwich for his lunch and packed them.

Even after he joined with his friends in the college he was beaming with the memory of having new friends.

Dean, on the other hand, was having a very hard time getting forced to agree to the bet. He got his first warning from the stupid football team on Saturday as making him missed his practicing and making Coach upset with him. Now Dean had to be very careful as he has to check out every movement of the assholes.

"Hey brother, what's wrong? You seem like you want to kill someone" Benny asked soon as Dean sat with them.

"Yeah, rough time bro" Dean answered without looking at him. He just didn't want to talk about it.

"Dean, you know you can talk with us right? and you were definitely in a problem, we can see that" Jo sounds a bit sad. She is always very caring about her cousin brother.

"Nah, it's not a bih deal Jo, actually it's about this fucking football team, I will take care of them soon" Dean commented stolen a chip from Charlie's plate.

"Hmm let's hope, but if you want any help for that you know where am I because I always hated those bitches "Charlie added and moved her chip plate towards Dean.

"Yeah I agree on that dude, those kids are a definitely bad influence to Dean," Grath said making Dean smirked and others to laugh.

"Hey, what? He's got the point okay I'm cool I'm adorable, I'm the good guy, they are not good for me, why you guys are laughing" Dean tried to be serious but his grin betrayed him.

"Yeah, yeah we know Dean" Adam said punching his cousin brother's shoulder.

"Like he is not a bully. I think the truth is the reverse side" Said Benny still trying to calm him down with his laugh.

"Really Benny? you know that's not true" Dean said and tried to push Benny out of his chair who yelled and laughed.

Dean was always very happy to hang out with his real friends like this. They are always very kind, funny and always there for him. After his family, this was his second family. So hanging out with them make him calm down always.

In the first few periods, Castiel attended to the classes with Meg and Alfie as they will not join with Castiel for the lunch. Because both of them had to finish some project for another class which Castiel not having today. So after the bell rang for lunch break Castiel say his bye to his friends and walked towards their usual place to have his lunch peacefully.

Dean was getting out from his class arguing with Azazel threatening to him about something he said back, but Azazel and others looks like chilling. Castiel didn't see them because he was in another world with his mind full of thoughts. Dean and the gang were in serious argument and as Castiel's bad time both Dean and Castiel bumped into each other without seeing and with a gasp Castiel fall into his back and Dean cursed in a pissed voice.

Dean glance over the boy who was on the floor eyes full of fear. Castiel cursed himself for his stupidity. Why in the hell I'm always ended up with these douchebags. God help me. Castiel prayed as he didn't even try to stand up as he was prepared for anything Winchester going to throw at him.

The gang started to wolf whistle and Dean cursed under his breath closing his eyes for a second.

"Well, well, well look what we got here our beloved fag, heyyy how you feeling this morning, seems like you can't even stay a few hours without seeing or having a piece of him now huh?" Azazel asked pointing at Dean.

"Speak of the devil, Dean, here we go. you wanna show us what you got for him?" Alastair asked grinning at him.

"Look I'm sorry, it's my fault I didn't see you coming okay? I'm truly really so sorry" Finally Castiel said and started to getting up slowly.

Dean knew what Alastair means, they have reminded him that he should take the bet if he doesn't care for Castiel. But Dean can prove it another way. without taking the bet he can prove that he doesn't give a fuck about this faggot here. and now he got a chance to show them that. That to show them he is not caring for this stupid nerd here. All the tension because of him. Dean really wanted to punch the kid right now because of his stupidity. but wait, look at his fearful eyes. They are filled with fright when he opened his eyes like a frightening deer. And his lips are shivering. Dean was so pissed at both the gang and Castiel.

"Woah Woah where you think you going Fag?" Raphael asked coming face to face with Castiel, covering the way when Castiel got up and tried to go away quickly.

"Please let me go, I already apologize for my mistake, " Castiel said controlling his fear and anger without lifting his head because then he doesn't want to look at anyone's eyes.

"Really? Well, let's give that chance to Dean. He will decide that whether accept nerd's apologies or he wants to teach a lesson to the nerd to stay away from him" Alastair said pushing Castiel towards Dean.

Dean didn't know what to do, but he was beyond angry. He didn't want to be here, to attend this bullshit. He hated the gang and he hated Castiel too.

Castiel felt his anger growing inside of him. He did a mistake and he already apologizes for it, but he is not a slave or a toy that they can play with anytime when they got bored especially not for Winchester here. Castiel just glared at Dean and turn around to go away from him. But before he put a step away, a strong hand grab his arm and pulled him roughly.

"Are you blind now faggot? Can't you see around? Is that why you walking around like a fucking idiot" Dean yelled as he was so pissed at him right now. Everything happened because of him. Dean hated him more than anything else.

Castiel had the same mutual feeling as his mouth go forward without even letting him know what is he doing.

"Leave my hand Winchester, I already apologize but on the other hand I can say you the same because you even didn't see me coming, so are you blind too?" With that Castiel yanked his hand away from Dean's death grip. And next second he started to run. He heard Dean cursed and other's laugh. Castiel felt he is getting a panic but he started to whisper it's okay, it's okay, you are okay, nothing happens to you, like a mantra while he was running.

Castiel stopped running by his place where he and his small friends' group hanging around always. It's a huge tree beside the end of the college playground and very peaceful. He sat down there and kept breathing up and down to control the panic. He felt he is doing fine after a few minutes as he stayed still there for a few minutes. Slowly he got to calm down. then he remembered his lunch. He didn't have any appetite now but he knew he wants to keep his mind away from what happened a few minutes ago. Because he didn't want to have a freaking panic attack now. as he slowly brought it out. It smells good. Castiel just sighed and unwrapped the p & j sandwich, then slowly moving it to his mouth but suddenly he got a huge pain in his hand and mouth as the sandwich fly away and felt to the ground. He grabbed his hurting hand with other hand with pain. He can feel the sour and copper taste of the mix of his tears and blood in his mouth. as he realized he is crying and probably his lips are cracked open. He can see now what's happening. Dean, it's Dean. he had kicked his hand which he was holding the sandwich and now he is looking at Castiel like a monster with a death glare. Castiel squeezed his eyes shut and kept wrapping his good hand around the hurting hand. With that Dean grabbed Castiel's shirt and yank him up.

Castiel was angry, in pain, afraid, and also he was almost having a panic attack, then Dean chose to beat the kid hell out of him exactly the same time as Dean punched on Castiel's stomach. With that Castiel fell on his back.

Castiel cried in pain he was closing his eyes. Tears and blood were everywhere on his face as he seems so bad on the floor. Dean gritted his teeth when he saw the bully gang had followed him and now standing around both and cheering for Dean. He wanted to punch them but instead of that, he kicked Castiel's back who cried even more loudly. Then Dean came in front of Castiel and lifted Cas and was going to hit him again.

"Dean please leave me, why do you hate me this much, what I have done to you, Dean. Please let me go" Castiel cried and he was so weak. Dean only heard those words as he felt huge pain inside his heart. His eyes went wide as suddenly he realized what was he doing. He wanted to hit himself and also kill these assholes. Dean just stayed few seconds lifting Cas shaking with anger like that and then he let go of Cas as he dropped to the floor and then Dean stormed towards the school building without even looking at the students who were gathered around them for watch the fight.

Azazel laughed Dean's back and slowly walked towards Castiel who was laying on the floor sobbing quietly.

"Look at you pretty little boy, see what that guy did to you, he must be really hate you, isn't it now boys?" 

Other team members laughed at it and Uriel kneeled beside Castiel who suddenly tried to get away from him.

"Hell yeah man, and look at you, covering with all blood and dirt, crying like a baby, where is your big mouth now huh faggot? You still think Winchester is worth it?" He laughed bitterly and Castiel bit his hurting lips to stop sobs coming very powerfully.

With few more dirty insults, the football team left him there and Castiel curled up into a ball and cried quietly. He stayed like that until all other students left. then he grabbed his bag and stand up quickly. Then he saw his sandwich was on the floor, peanut butter and jelly covered with all the dirt from the floor. He felt his eyes getting wet again with self-pity. He wiped his new tears with the back of his hand and grabbed the two slices of bread and threw it into the nearest garbage bin. After that, he went to the washroom. he looked at the mirror first. His lips were cracked and the bleeding had stopped at that time but it's bit swelled. he washed his face holding back tears. He sure how much he washed his face it's Obvious that anyone can see how ruined his lips. But who's care. No one in the college will not notice, hell how they notice his cracked lips when they never noticed him. He sighed and walked to his next class. He remembered his t-shirt got a hoodie cap behind and he usually did not use it but he can use it now to hide more from the people, so he grab the hoodie cap and pulled it on his head. The rest of the day gone silent and Castiel only focus on the lessons determined not to think about what happened.

Dean was an angry mess, he ignored the football team and hang out with Charlie Benny and Jo's classes, even he was not in those classes. When the college end he said goodbye to his friends and walked towards the parking lot when he sees Castiel. Castiel was also walking out in the College building. He didn't see Dean. He was walked a bit uncomfortably. Dean saw his face clearly when he turned around to go to the main gate and Dean's heart shattered with the guilty. Castiel's lips, his beautiful pinky lips were cracked and Dean can see that from here. He cursed himself and got into the Impala and Drew it fast away from the college.

..........

Sam never stopped talking about how wonderful was Clarence and of course his herbal teas. Mary always loved to talk about him so both of them enjoyed that chat but Dean was so done with Sam's talking.

"Sammy, what the hell man? You sure you are not into boys? Coz I think you are. When you gonna stop talking about this boy. I mean you said the exact same thing about him for the hundredth time now. Stop it dude" Dean yelled and Sam rolled his eyes.

"Don't be a bitch Dean, if you met him you also will like him, he is actually a nice person" Sam fired back.

"But to be honest he was trying to hide something just like Mom mentioned before, I don't know actually what it is" Sam added.

Mary chuckled. She reminded the day they all met. Then she got an idea as she smiled brightly.

"Hey boys, I have got an idea, how about we invite him to come here, maybe for a dinner night. then we all can get to know more about him and also Dean can meet him too, how about that" Mary was ao excited.

"Wow that's amazing idea Mom, I really like that" Sam agreed next second.

Dean looked at both Mary's and Sam's faces then smiled. He standard up and came to Mary's chair and wrapped his hands around her neck and pressed a kiss on her cheek.

"Anything you want Mom anything, you are the most important thing to us and whoever is he saved you, also important to us, to me. so I also want to meet him, yeah I'm also in," He said and Mary smiled at him with wet eyes.

After a few minutes, Mary dialed Castiel's number.

.....

Castiel came home as quickly as he can. He was holding back his cry until now and he is now home so he started to cry with all the pain he has stopped from coming out. He didn't know what is wrong with him and why people hate him so much especially Dean Winchester. However, Castiel was fed up with asking that same question from himself which always ended up with no answer. He just kept crying and fell asleep on the couch.

Castiel awoke with a gasp as he waited there trying to remember where is he then he remembered that he was just laying on the couch last evening without even had his lunch or dinner. And now his stomach is grumbling and that's why he suddenly woke up. He slowly rose and checked the time as he understood that it's too early. It was 4.30 am and he got more time for college. Then he thought a bit and decided go for a run. Because he hadn't much time for a Running session the past few weeks. it's a good opportunity to go for it and also to forget everything was in mind. It's still hurting his back a bit, but he knew it will be shaded with the rest of the day. So he got up and had a quick warm shower and had a cup of coffee then he got dressed in his running gear. He closed his door and went for the morning run. 

It was always good when he did running, he can feel the burning of his mussels. The sweet pain on his things. The way sweat rolled down his whole body and skin in thick, salty beads. he could feel his heart throbbing inside his chest.  
He liked it when his whole body vibrates with the power which building with each step he put forward. That was a great idea to go running this morning as he felt he is already having good thoughts and cleaning his mind.  
....

As per Dean's football practice timetable, he got an early morning practicing today. So he was determined to go today to the practice without even a one-second delay. He felt proud of himself as he thought Alastair and the gang should be thinking he will get the bait again. But he was already one step ahead of them. Because he paid another two football players for giving Dean all the practice-changing details when the team planing for ditching him. So he won't miss practice again. He smirked and got on to his baby to go to college. He played the eye of the tiger and sang along with it. He wanted to forget a things behind. He drew slowly because he loved the early morning wind. The road is not more crowded yet and vehicles are also not much there yet. that's why Dean noticed him. He saw a runner coming in front of him. 

Even in the little bit dark, still Dean can see the runner got a nice figure. Because his running gear had stuck to his body with the sweat. And when second by second both they got close as Dean recognized him.  
Holy crap Castiel? Dean could not believe what was he seen as he forgot that he was driving. So he turned his neck to see Castiel who passing by the car. With that he witnessed a nice bubble ass of Castiel's, tightening in his tight runner Short.  
Dean gulped and focused on the road again and he never knew that Castiel does running until this moment. But hell what he does know about kid, nothing. He only knew that poor kid was kinda having a very rough time every day in the college. Mostly by himself or his gang. That's all he knew. But wait, he is Dean's number one enemy so why would he know anything about the guy. Dean groaned at his silly thoughts but he can't forget that body or that ass though. And Castiel was fucking hot in that way. Dean swore to god and tried to stop those thoughts quickly.  
........

Castiel came home and had a shower. He decided to have a breakfast as he made eggs and bacon, and ate quickly. then had a herbal tea. He chuckled as he remembered Sam when he smelled the rich aroma of the tea. With that, he remembered that he saw few missed calls from Mary earlier but forget to call back or send a message to her. The next second he grabbed his phone and check it. There were three missed calls and one massage from Mary. The massage was asking is he okay? And asking him to call back when he saw the message. Castiel felt happy. He hadn't anyone to check on him besides Gabriel and his three friends. Now he has a kind-hearted woman and a funny but warm-hearted giant kid around him. He didn't want to lose them. So he quickly dialed Mary's number. Castiel was not sure that if she is up yet, but within three rings Mary answered. Castiel can hear her warm voice.  
"Good morning son, how are you"  
"Good morning Mary, I'm fine, and thank you, how about you, um actually I'm sorry I just now got to see your message" Castiel replied happily.  
"I'm fine too son, and it's fine, actually I called you yesterday for a little invite," Mary said hoping Castiel will not be afraid of that.  
Castiel bit shocked by that but tried not to show it.  
"An invite? Um, what kind of invite Mary?" He asked politely.

"Um son me and my two sons want to invite you to a dinner over my house, and I would be very happy if you will come," Mary said very patiently not wanting to panic Castiel.

But that's the exact thing that happened as Castiel didn't reply to Mary for a while but Mary could hear Castiel's long breathing suddenly. So Mary decided to say something to calm him down as she understood that Castiel definitely hiding something or having a problem. That's why he hesitated to come around and try to stay hiding.

"Oh you know, it's totally okay if you have another plans today, we can arrange it another day so don't worry about that son. We will talk about that another day" Mary soothed away that.

Castiel felt a little calm and he quickly answered.

"Oh okay thank you for inviting Mary that's very kind of you and of course we will talk about that later, okay then I will call you Mary." He said so because he didn't want to upset this sweet woman.

"Okay Clarence see you, bye son," Mary said.  
.....

Dean went to college early and got ready for the practice. Then he jogged to play play ground but to his wonder the whole ground was empty. So it didn't get a lot of time for him to understand that he was however lost again this time and they have tricked him again.  
He gritted his teeth and screamed as his anger started to boil.  
Dean didn't know what to do now, it seems like Azazel is so determined to his plan to get success. But Dean couldn't lose this chance to play this match. However, he thought he will try more to figure out another way as he went to his car for killing time for college to begin. He cursed the whole football team. He was angry really angry. Then he saw few Beer bottles laying on the back of the seat and he grabbed one. He opened it and sipped it with quick gulps. It's was too early to get drunk but he wanted that right now.  
.........

Castiel chose his books for the first class when he felt someone closed his eyes from behind with two hands. he felt panic for seconds but then he signed.  
"Alfie I can recognize your cold hands even you put a finger on me," Castiel said rolling his eyes and closed his locker before turning to his friend. Alfie chuckled and act like surprised.

"Oh I'm so flattered Cassie, and that means you know me much better right" He teased.  
Castiel hugged his books to his heart and rest his chin on the books glancing at Alfie.  
"Yes and only because your hands are always so freezing Alfie" Castiel answered.  
Both of them didn't notice that someone was looking at them since Castiel came to his locker.  
Dean was coming to his locker when he saw Castiel. At this point, Dean was a bit tipsy but no one can notice that but he really was tipsy. And then He leaned to the nearest wall and looked at Castiel silently. Today Castiel has worn a maroon color sweatshirt with a hood that was a bit fitted and showing his waist and hips sharply. And black fittings jeans. He kinda looks yummy but he had no idea about that. Because he never matches clothes or never gave big attention to the color or the design but only the comfortableness.  
And for Dean's wonder, this is the first time he saw Castiel when he is drunk or tipsy. Because Castiel never going to any party and of course he has never been even near to a drinking person or a place so no wonder about that. But here now that's happening as Dean can't take his eyes away from Castiel.  
That's the time Alfie noticed Castiel's lips. His face changed to a worried look.  
"Oh god Cassie what happened, look at your bottom lip, it must be hurting, What happened man?" He asked with real concern.  
Castiel narrowed his eyes to the floor.  
"Alfie please I don't want to talk about that now, and besides Meg will come now and she will force me to tell about that, so probably it's better waiting for her, because she get it from me anyways" Castiel answered without looking at Alfie.  
Dean didn't saw Charlie until he heard her voice.  
"Ahem, what a cute couple," She said nodded at Castiel and Alfie without looking at Dean.  
Dean looked at Charlie with a surprising gesture.  
"Wha? Are you crazy they're not cute, nada. and absooouulutelyyy not a damn couple" Dean chuckled and the second Dean started talking Charlie gasped and completed turned towards Dean?  
"Dean you idiot, are you drunk?" Charlie's voice was angry.  
"Psss.. Drunk, don't be ridiculous Charrrrles I'm not drunk, I'm cool" He said laughing.

"Oh definitely you are and how you plan to go to the class like this" Charlie shooted back and Dean didn't give attention to her as he was staring at Castiel again as Charlie also glanced at him.

At that moment Alfie sighed and came closer to Castiel.  
"At least tell me that you feel okay Cassie? you sure you don't want to go to the college nurse?" He asked and put his finger under Castiel's chin to lift his face. Castiel looked at Alfie and nodded.  
Charlie smirked with that and bumped her shoulder to Dean's.  
"Definitely a CUTE and definitely a COUPLE" she pointed it out. 

"No they are not" Dean said. With that Dean groaned and started to walked towards Castiel directly. He didn't know what he was doing but he definitely wanted to follow his mind.  
Then Castiel noticed Dean Winchester storming towards him and he got freeze. Alfie also saw he is coming and he quickly stood in front of Castiel, facing to Dean make sure Castiel is behind him. But Castiel didn't want to hide. He will be weak but not a coward.  
But before Castiel tells Alfie to move away Dean stopped in front of Alfie with a death stare on his tipsy face.  
"Winchester just leave him alone please," Alfie said and Dean grabbed his arm and pushed him away making clear there are no one between Castiel and him.

Now Dean and Castiel were face to face. both were having cold stare on their faces. Dean can see Castiel's pinky lips so closely now. They are swelled and he can see the crack on the bottom lip. Those so pinky lips are extra red-pink today. and suddenly Dean leaned a bit and touched Castiel's bottom lip surprising Castiel. With a hissing in pain, Castiel batted his hand away and gave him a death glare.

"What the hell you doing Winchester," Castiel asked. Castiel felt anger bubbling inside of him. His lips got hurt because of this man. Now he has come here and investigating it, maybe for another dirty jokes and insults are on the way. Yeah, that's what they doing always.

Dean seems like didn't mind Castiel's objections or his question as he was going to touch Castiel's lips again. But Castiel quickly slapped it away.

"Don't touch me Winchester" Castiel said and tried to walk away from Dean. But before even he thinks what happened Dean grabbed Castiel's both hands and pinned it above his head to the locker. Castiel's eyes went wide and Alfie tried to pull Dean away.

"Winchester leave him alone" He groaned but Dean suddenly turned his head to him.

"Go away I'm not gonna say twice" He groaned back as Alfie get the hint, but he didn't left Castiel, he just stood there helplessly. At that point, Charlie also ran out there. She didn't involved yet but she was determined to stop Dean, if he try to hurt Castiel.

Finally, Dean touched Castiel's abused bottom lip again and Castiel hissed with pain.

"Is that hurting"? His voice was soft even Castiel can't believe it as he never expected that.

Castiel didn't reply because he was still processing. Dean looked at his eyes the next second, they were soft, no anger in those eyes anymore.  
Castiel thought if he answer quickly this drama will end quickly. So he answered Dean.

"Yes, but it's healing," He said. Dean waited to look at Castiel's eyes a few more seconds and then nodded. Within that, he let go of Castiel's hands and he turned around and walked away. Charlie quickly came to Castiel. 

"Cas you okay sweetie, nothing happened right," She asked. Castiel smiled at her.

"No Charlie I'm okay" He answered and Charlie smiled back cupping his cheek and then she ran back after Dean.

"What the hell was that Dean?" Charlie demanded and Dean stopped rolling his eye.

"Yesterday I hurt him, that was an unnecessary fight and it's bothering me. maybe especially because I'm a bit tipsy, so that's all, so don't make it a big drama and I have another big problem to deal with that fucking football gang" He said and then stormed to the cafeteria to find the Alastair and gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you watched season 15 episode 18 you know what happened ❤❤.  
> I'm happy it's happened💚💙 Destiel is Cannon.❤❤
> 
> We won 😭😭 ❤💚💙❤❤ but the most saddest win ever. 😭😭😭😭😭  
> We won the battle but lost the war😭😭😭😭😭❤❤❤❤❤ #DestielForever 💙💚
> 
> Anyhow Not gonna accept the lost tho, smells like war is gonna win too😊❤❤ Cas is definitely gonna come back in last two episodes.will wait and watch 💙💚💚💙
> 
> Your comments and Kudos make me more enthusiastic and happy ❤❤ let's celebrate 💚💙 DESTIEL IS CANNON❤❤❤❤❤❤


	7. It's a Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No Winchester that's not gonna happen. And just for the record, we got to know that you have two spies in the team so we threatened them to tell you that practice time changed to today morning, but actually never changed it, so as you see in this case we have much power and you only have to say ok to our little game, only say ok. Then you got two big gifts, 1. you can play the big match and 2. you can get the biggest revenge from your biggest enemy, "As you say saw" Right?" Azazel said the last part with air quotes.
> 
> Dean just let go of Alastair but still glaring at the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alert  
> Please note that this chapter contains some past memory of violence.
> 
> I couldn't able to update on date as I decided to make it a a long episode.
> 
> There will be some mistakes and pardon me.
> 
> Have a great day my friends 😍😍

Dean probed around the cafeteria very carefully like a hawk who is looking for prey. He wanted to close the deal. This is too much because he is done with the bullshit of Azazel and Alastair. After all, he is The Dean Winchester so he is not gonna buy those asshole's shit anymore. But the team wasn't anywhere to find then suddenly his eyes stopped on someone else. Dean gritted his teeth when he saw them and stormed into the two boys who were chatting with few more boys.  
They didn't notice Dean until he crashed into them and grab the two boys from their t-shirts.

"Yo assholes W'dare you huh?" Dean groaned at the boys who were shivering with fear and begging for forgiveness. His voice was tipsy but he didn't gave a damn about it for a bit.

"Dean please man please just listen to us please we beg you please don't hurt us"

"Yes Dean, at least give us chance to tell you what happened please Dean, that wasn't our fault, they, they didn't let us chance to,"

Both of them were freshman year and very new to the football team. Both boys were obsessed with Dean's reputation and they treat him like a celebrity. And of course, they wanted to be a henchman for Dean, so Dean got the advantage of it and asked them to work for him kinda undercover agents inside team. Because Dean knew Azazel will keep messing with him by changing the practice times and will make sure Dean will miss the practice times. So these two boys promised to inform and update Dean of all the changing times and information inside the group when Dean wasn't around. So in the real time table of practice scheduled was yesterday, after the school but these two boys informed Dean that Michael tells all other team members that practice time change to today morning so Dean was beaming with self-esteem. But he didn't know that his plan was already unsuccessful as in real, practice time was never have been changed this time and he just got the bait again. Practice was held already yesterday as original schedule. So Dean guessed the fault is these two rats.

"Yeah? U'gonna explain? Huh assholes? I'just gave u one job and U'betrayed me aaand U'are gunna get the consequences" Dean yelled at the frightened boys.

"Well Dean, they are telling the truth, just let the poor boys go, we will explain to you about what happened" Dean turned his head toward where Alastair's calm voice coming as he saw Alastair, Azazel, Michael, Uriel, and Raphael were standing behind him.

Dean groaned and let the boys' shirts go and instead grabbed on Alastair's shirt collar.

"U'muther fucker, not'gonna listen to me right?" Dean gave him a devil glare and before he says anything else the team started to laugh at him.

"Well well Winchester you are a not good friend, you have started without us. look at you. It's early in the morning and you are already drunk man" Azazel saying patting Dean's shoulder.

Dean gritted his teeth and shrugged his hand from his shoulder and glared at him.

"I'm'nt drunken you fucker, just come with me Nd tell Coach what've U'done for last few weeks and clear ma'name" He groaned.

"No Winchester that's not gonna happen. And just for the record, we got to know that you have two spies in the team so we threatened them to tell you that practice time changed to today morning, but actually never changed it, so as you see in this case we have much power and you only have to say ok to our little game, only say ok. Then you got two big gifts, 1. you can play the big match and 2. you can get the biggest revenge from your biggest enemy, "As you say saw" Right?" Azazel said the last part with air quotes.

Dean just let go of Alastair but still glaring at the team.

"Besides if you actually don't care about that nerd why do you hesitating this much Winchester, don't let us think other than that, uh I can't even think about that, coz I don't think Winchester is gay for him," Raphael said and next second he pinned to the wall by Dean and got a punch to his face as Raphael yelled with pain.

"U'motherfucker" Dean tried to punch him again but Michael and Uriel grabbed Dean and tried to keep him away from Raphael, who suddenly go few steps back from him and make sure not to talk anymore.

"Winchester, hey Winchester calm down we are not here to fight with you. We just offering you a big chance. just get it and don't fight, when you change your mind you know where to find us" Alastair said with his dirty law calm voice and then the team was gone.

Dean just signed heavily and just fell to the nearest chair running both hands over his face.  
He was tired of this shit. He didn't even want others to think that he cares about that nerd. Now they started to think maybe he is gay for that fucker. Arrr everything is happening because of him. Because of his fucking break less mouth. He remembered the day all of this were started.

It was the second day of their college.

**_Then//_ **

After the first day of reunion with Castiel, Dean couldn't stop thinking about him. Dean sure Castiel also very happy to see him again. But the problem was Dean knew in deep down he can't be more visible about how much he is happy to see Castiel or to be with him. Because he knew he can't control himself when he saw Castiel.  
Castiel was beautiful. so beautiful. His innocent face, his bright and mesmerizing deep ocean blue glistening eyes, his kissable pinky and more pinky soft looking lips, arrr Dean knew he is going crazy. Because he is a straight boy. hell he even got this reputation as a womanizer. So why the hell he shattered like this, melting like butter in front of this nerdy lad. No fucking way he is gonna show his weakness to the world. He knew he always got into trouble because of Castiel. If his dad knows, fuck Dean would kill himself before that. Because his dad will kill him surely if he gets to know that Dean cares for Castiel again. So NO. Dean not gonna think about Castiel and definitely will not gonna renew their friendship again.

So like that Dean determined to ignore Castiel as much as he can then Castiel will get the message and he will stay away from him.

But unfortunately, on the second day of college, everything got verse. Dean was carrying his lunch plate with Azazel, Alastair, and Michael when Castiel came to him and put his hand on Dean's shoulder beaming with happiness seeing again Dean. His face was very damn happy.

"Dean, finally. I searched for you everywhere hey you wanna join with me?" Castiel asked showing his empty table.

Dean's face already brightens with happiness without even knowing he was now smiling without remembering his self promises and he was already drooling with happy eyes. And he just stayed staring at Castiel while feeling the softness of Castiel's hand which was on his shoulder. But then the reality hit his mind and suddenly his smile vanished. He blinked a few times as finding the correct words.

"Um hey, Cas.. Castiel, um Nah I can't. sorry my gang is huge and we gonna need more chairs and space. also we have to do this private talk, so um guess we got to go to our own place" He said like a robot, no emotions in his face and just walked away. Pretending that he never saw the way Castiel's beautiful smile vanishing through his innocent face. The way his face darkened with sadness and the way he nodded at him with sad eyes.

But Dean didn't see the way Azazel's eyes widen with the simple incident. He was a man like a fox. Most likely a hyena. Very like to dragging the dirty garbage of people also never leave his effort if he thought that he wants to find something or do something. So Dean never knew that Azazel was planing to know about Dean and Castiel's past friendship. Because he saw the way both of their reaction when they saw each other last day and the way both of them staring at each other, the way Dean touched Castiel, the way Dean got anxious when he noticed Azazel and the way left Castiel, and today he obviously cut off Castiel. Ok, interesting.

So Azazel waited until he got a chance as all of them ended their lunches and left the cafeteria. He just walked with the gang towards the next class but after a few minutes said some excuse to slip from the gang and slowly came back to the cafeteria looking for Castiel. But Castiel was also ending his lunch and was going to stand up when Azazel suddenly burst into his table, making Castiel startled.

"Hey, you are Castiel, right? Hi, I'm Azazel Dean's friend" Azazel held his hand and said with a very friendly manner without giving a chance, Castiel to go away from the table signaling him to sit with him.  
Castiel just looked between his face and his hand and blinked. Then he held his hand and shook it and hurried to get his hand back nodding at him. He didn't like to talk with strangers but this is college, people do talk, making friends. So Castiel decided to answer the boy.

"Um.. yes, I'm I.. Yes I'm Castiel, and is everything right?" Castiel barely asked. Because his gut was saying that this boy is not coming for a good reason.

"Hey good, good I just you know I wanted to tell you that Dean was not fine easier. actually he was in a problem, that's why he just, you know kinda not accept your invite to sit with you" He stated.

"Oh" Is that the only thing Castiel said and looked at him with a surprised face. Because he kinda felt relief and an easy feeling about this guy here for the first time since he crashed here.

"Yeah and I came to check out that you are okay, because Dean was not doing good either. he just kept talking about you and worried that maybe you get upset with the incident, so I wanted to tell you that Dean is not upset with you, actually it's kind of the opposite, " Azazel said with a grin on his face.

Castiel just made a puzzled look.

"What did you mean by the opposite? Castiel asked.

Azazel grinned at him again before he answers him.  
"Dean never stops talking about you, he likes you very much, and also for the past hour he just worried about you and thinking that maybe you are angry with him," Azazel said smoothly wanting to get Castiel's trust then he can get what he wants to know.

Castiel smiled at his empty plate.  
"Oh Dean is never changed then. He always worried about me, we were used to be best friends" He said in a happy voice.

"Oh damn, I remember that Dean telling that. It's an amazing man, I mean you guy's relationship" Azazel said that examining Castiel's face Very carefully.

"so how do you guys know each other? I mean I know about that as Dean also telling with us about that, but you know, just curious to know from you too" Azazel flashed his best smile on Castiel.

Oh Dean had tell them? Oh. Castiel waited a few seconds before answering him.

"Actually we were best friends from kindergarten and Dean was a very good friend"  
Castiel keep smiled and his voice is so enthusiastic. And Azazel kept motivating him asking questions and giving compliments about their friendship. After a few minutes, Castiel thought Azazel is not bad as he seems and maybe he must be a good person. At that moment Azazel asked his million-dollar question.

"So I'm wondering what happened to you guys because I saw yesterday you guys like met after a long time, why did you get apart?"

Castiel sighed heavily.  
"Actually we had to. told you that Dean was always worried about me. so one day his Dad happened to see him kissing me, but he was just soothing me that's all, nothing else "

Azazel's face lightens up the second Castiel said that.  
Fuck I knew it.

But then Castiel's eyes went wild. Oh god, what I have done. Oh my god what if  
Dean didn't want to share it with these guys, I even don't know these guys are his best friends yet, shit now what I'm gonna do? But he said Dean said everything about us to them.  
He cursed at his stupidity but then Azazel planned to tied his knot around Castiel's neck and poor Castiel got the bail.

"Oh right.. right. now I remember that. Dean already told us about that" He assured patting Castiel's shoulder.  
Castiel's eyes went wide again.

"Oh, he did?"

"Yes of course he did tell us, we are best friends from elementary school so we know lots of things, you know," Azazel said and winked.

"So is that how you got separated right? Now I remember" He said checking his face carefully to try to get any information from him.

Castiel nodded sadly. Dean had already told them about their past. His friends must be know the whole story. so it's not a problem then, he felt relief and there is nothing to worried.

"Yeah after that, his dad made sure to withdraw him from the school after seeing Dean kissing me again, because I was got hurt and Dean wanted to make sure I'm okay, but his Dad got angry without even a reason" Castiel said without thinking more because he believed Azazel's every word.

Azazel grinned at him licking his lips.

"So Castiel you are a so good person it's very nice to talk with you man, I have to go now but I promise you will meet you very very soon again," He said kept grinning at him.

Castiel felt a strange feeling but nodded at him anyways.  
"It's nice to talk to you too Azazel," He said honestly but never knew what he had walked into.

Azazel left the cafeteria like he won a million dollars. His dirty mind was planning a dozen things to do to Dean and Castiel. He waited until Castiel goes to his next lecture Hall. Because he wanted to know which one it is for his plan. then slowly walked into his own lecture and patiently wait until the class end. He glanced at Dean's back and grind.  
Well well, Winchester always knew there was a big secret with you. So here we go. gotcha.

He smirked as he planned to do the worst thing to both Dean and Castiel.

"Hey Winchester you know, I always wondered that what's the big deal with you and that Castiel boy?" Azazel put his hand on Dean's shoulder and asked as soon as the lecture ended.  
Dean froze for a moment. He had to wait for a minute to gather his thoughts before the answer to Azazel. He gulped and turned toward Azazel collecting his books and put them inside his bag.

"What deal? There is no fucking deal" Dean said and shrugged. He grinned and acting like he is cool. And turned into his heels and quickly walked towards the corridor trying to kill the talk right there.

Azazel smirked to his back then signaled to others to come with him and followed Dean. He waited until students filling the area. Because he wanted to make this scene go viral.  
Within seconds corridor filled with eager students who were chatting, laughing, and shouting at each other. Then Azazel saw what he was looking for near Castiel's lecture hall. Castiel was slowly coming out from the hall and Azazel quickly stopped Dean grabbing by his shoulder. A sudden tug made Dean a bit angry because he was already stuck in thousands of thoughts about Azazel's question.

"Wha. What the hell Azazel?" Dean shouted but Azazel raised his both hands like no halm gesture.

"Are you sure about that Winchester, because I'm wondering if there is nothing between you guys why the hell did you kissed Castiel?" He asked with a high volume as everyone can here.

Suddenly the whole area got silenced and Dean's eyes were trying to jump out of from it's sockets and his mouth was hanging open. He was looking at Azazel like he grows another head.

"What the fuck did you say?" Dean finally got conscious to ask.

"I mean if there is nothing between you guys why did you kissed Castiel?" Azazel smirked again.

Suddenly there are lots of small voices around them as students started to talk about what they heard. Castiel stopped walking as he also heard that. What's going on? Oh god is that Dean? Holly fuck am I in trouble? Have I screwed up it? Why is Azazel asking that in front of all this students here? Castiel gulped heavily and just stood among other students not able to walk or think anymore.

Even it's only two days in the college lots of students know Dean Winchester in high school because he is so popular in there too. And seems like Castiel is a bit known by few people as Dean heard what was said by one boy.

"Castiel? Is that gay boy from high school? Damn Did Dean kiss him? Is he also a gay or something?" That's the ending point of Dean's patience and he groaned like an angry wolf and grabbed Azazel by his shirt and pushed him to the nearest wall.

"What the fuck you said you fucker? I didn't kiss any fucker and how dare you to say such a stupid thing about me? Do you have a death wish Azazel?" He yelled at him without able to control his anger.

"Wow, Winchester easy man easy I just tried to help you. You know I was trying to warn you, that's it?" Azazel said in a calm voice as he knew if he said one wrong word Dean will jump on him and will break good two or three bones of him.

Dean was glaring at him.  
"What the hell was help in that and what's the warning? Are you shitting with me you fucker? I think you should know whom with you are messed with?" He pushed him more to the wall and yelled again.

"Wait, Dude seriously just think why'd I say something like that if not someone told me so. I wanted to warn you before you get it as a rumor" Azazel was very cunning and smart enough to got Dean there.

"Who the hell told you that bullshit?"  
Dean asked and Castiel sees stars. His inner gut was right, shit. Azaxel was a very dangerous liar and a traitor. How Dean will act if he get to know that I told him that? Fuck I'm a big idiot. Fuck fuck now what I'm going to do?. Castiel was frozen there without knowing what to do.

"He told it," Azazel said and Castiel lifted his head to see whom he talking about. Azazel was pointing his hand towards the gathered of students and students were slowly get away from his pointing finger as slowly there was a space between them. gathering of students had kept spread away making alredy frozen and wide eyes Castiel leaving there. who's now standing directly to the pointing finger of Azazel.

Dean's angry eyes finally stopped on Castiel and Dean also froze when he saw him. His eyes wide and there was an unbelievable gesture on his face. Castiel didn't know he was crying until he felt a wetness on his cheeks with embracement, confusion,  
discomfiture, and the thoughts of how Dean will react now.

"He told you that?" Dean asked without even taking his angry and pissed eyes from Castiel.

"Yes, Castiel told me that you kissed him," Azazel said very slowly and carefully monitoring Dean's face with a sly grin now.

Suddenly Dean let go of Azazel and turned towards the Castiel who tried to talk but words didn't come out because he was horrified and extremely shocked. He just shook his head to both sides as he wants to tell that's not the truth. Dean stopped in front of Castiel without a few easy steps and glaring at him with shaking anger.

"Did.you.say.that.Castiel?" Dean asked as his voice even shaking it came like a growl because Dean was seeing red.

Dean could hear the reverberation of his Dad's words from years back.

//Dean my son, he is not your friend. He is just your enemy. Look you don't understand now but when you grow up you will understand what I'm saying, Dean. Look at me don't cry, son. You should forget about him because he is not your best friend. He is trying to drag you to the wrong side and it's a shame son. I know you are a better person more than that. That stupid brat is not your best friend he is an enemy and if you did not understand that he will destroy you//  
Dean was a little kid at that time and had not a big idea what his Dad was trying to tell him. But those speeches even successful to grow hate in his little heart at that age but with time Castiel became only a memory and of course Dean never forgets about him. But he never felt this kind of strong hateness, detestation toward Castiel before.

Castiel couldn't even move because he was stunned and shocked. so he was unable to speak or react normally also shivering with fear, sadness, and embarrassment.

"De.. Dean, please let me.." Castiel just tried to speak but cut off by Dean's rough snarl.

"Did you said that or not Castiel?"

Castiel nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Dean's shout.

"Dean I just, just please listen to me Dean let me explain" Castiel begged but that words stand enough to make Dean's brain working against him as he pushed Castiel violently on his chest and Castiel threw few steps back and barely keep himself stand on his feet before falling back on his back.

"You stupid little shit, I don't want your explanation I know about you. I knew what you were up to and you are just a little faggot. What the fuck you said about me Castiel?" Dean shouted at him and pushed him again with more power. Castiel felt pain in his chest and he fell behind and hit his head on the floor with a huge "thud" Sound. He knew his head must be cracked as tha pain he felt. but he didn't care about that, he just want to make sure he is getting clear on this misunderstanding of Dean. He hissed with pain before speak quickly before Dean doing anything else.

"Dean I didn't mean to hurt you or insult you, He just asked how we got separated and I just said because your dad saw us kissing. That's was the reason. But never meant to hurt you Dean only wanted to point out you were a very good friend and you just tried to"

Castiel had to stopped his babbling because Dean grabbed his shirt and yank him up to his feet and the next second he felt a huge pain in his right cheek as something pulled out in his mouth. Fuck its blood and Dean's right hand knuckles was on his cheek as a . Yeah, Dean punched him so hard.

A very painful sound escaped from Castiel's mouth as his eyes shut closed tightly before Dean shook him and demand to look at him.

"You Little fucker, what did you say? "got separate?" What the fuck was that? to separate we never were together or friends or whatever fuck. I even don't know who you are you faggot. And how dare you to say that, word? that damn kiss?" Dean hit again on Castiel's face repeatedly.  
Dean was seen red because his Dad's every word was right. This fucker is just came into his life after years, it's only two days and here he is. Surrounded by the whole college and just barely stopping the rumors about going everywhere as he is Gay. Shit. His reputation, his dream to play in the football team. To be a man that he wanted his Dad to be proud of. Fuck this faggot is going to ruin everything.

He hit Castiel's face until it's covering with blood. And Castiel was unconscious and he didn't try to say anything only cried with pain.

"Kiss?" Dean laughed like a mad man, it goes to Castiel's eyes like a demonic laugh.

"I kiss you? damn faggot in your dreams. I would rather cut off my lips before I kiss some fucking faggot like you. And you choose the wrong guy to play with"

He hit Castiel's rib cage with range. Castiel didn't have enough power to even scream now. He was like a puddle with blood. He can sure there is blood leaking from his back of the head too. And his whole body was in pain and he felt like he was couldn't take anymore. But Dean was still shouting and hitting his stomach and ribs.

"I knew you are a looser, helpless nerd. I knew that. And you wanted to be popular, isn't it You fucking cocksucker?" Dean laughed again that demon laugh.

Castiel was crying the whole time with the pain in the body and the trail of insults coming from Dean's mouth. Who was his best friend once. who was can't even stand when Castiel got a little bit of hurt, who was very caring and loved him, who was always there for him, who was even trying to fight with his dad for Castiel? Now Castiel was in a pool of blood and even now Dean didn't stop hitting him. And no one tried to stop him instead laughed and insulted more Castiel. Few people encouraged Dean mostly Azazel he was laughing the entire time.

"Deeaaannn... Please... Don't do this.." Castiel begged whispering as tears rolling on the blood of his face. Dean laughed more.

"Tell me now you fucker, did I kissed you? Huh, say it? Say it you motherfucker? Or you want more?" Dean hit another deadly punch on Castiel's head and Castiel just fell on the floor unconsciously. He can't open his eyes they are soaked with tears and blood. He tried and slowly opened his eyes. Dean's face was still angry. His best friends, his ex-best friend's handsome face, who was supposed to hugging now tightly and soothing him saying he is gonna be okay, Dean... Yes, Dean was just standing there ready to hit him more.

"No Dean.. You didn't kiss me. Never"  
Castiel closed his eyes sobbing. Suddenly the images coming and going inside his head like a flash. Their childhood memories. Dean was kissing his lips on the day of football game in the school, then suddenly they were aparted, and Dean stand and go away from Castiel. When Castiel crying with pain. Then again images flashing all the time Dean kissed him between elementary school and Kindergarten. Dean stopped kissing Castiel and left him alone in every flashed image of the memory. Then last he saw when was the first time Dean kissed him in kindergarten. Castiel's eyes filled with more tears as little cute and kind Dean stop kissing him and left him on the ground to cry himself. Castiel opened his teary and bloody eyes.

"See you all hear him right? Fucker wanted to be popular in the college, cock sucker was helpless. and now tell me were we being friends ever you fucker?" Dean asked and shook him because Castiel's eyes closed slowly as he suddenly looked like going to faint.

"No Dean, I was never been your friend, I'm sorry I lied," Castiel's voice came very weakly and bit his already heavily damaged lips to hold his cry and failed as he started sobbing.

Dean laughed and finally let him go.

"See what happened when you tried to fucking with the wrong guy Castiel? And remember I would never ever even think become friends with someone like you, you are a nothing but a curse for the world, cocksucker, remember I fucking hate to even see your stupid fucking ugly, cursed pathetic face, never show me that again" Dean shouted and stormed out of the corridor. Castiel just laid with a pool of blood and his vision gone black and all the insulting coming out of students, going more unclear.. Everything went blur and his whole painful body felt like floating. And slowly his eyes being shut without even knowing.  
.......

_**Now//** _

"Dean.. Dean you okay? Man I talked to you like three times and you stayed like a deaf man" Jo complained and sat down beside him.  
"Oh Sorry Sis didn't see you coming"  
Jo rolled her eyes.

"Of course you didn't you were out of the universe, what is it Dean? What's the problem ? You seems like off these days. Charlie is pissed at you, she said you tried to fight with Castiel again"

Dean closed his eyes when he heard the name.

"No Jo I wasn't.. It just a small incident no halm, Charlie is always overacting when it's coming to that nerd. Sometimes I wonder whether she is my best friend or that nerd's best friend" Dean said dramatically.

"I heard that Winchester, you know sometimes I wish I became his best friend instead of you. because of your stupidity. And after all, I don't think that poor boy have any best friend, he barely got two or three friends to even talk with him, or at least he talks with" Charlie came around and sat with them.

Dean rolled his eyes at her this time.

"Yeah whatever red, I don't want to talk about that, coz that's not a our problem"  
Dean argued and Jo interrupted before they start fighting.

"Ok ok guys, guys enough, I'm going to go to class coz it's gonna start in 5 minutes.

"Yeah okay let's go I'm coming with you" Charlie also stood with her then glared at Dean who smirked at his best friend.

"See ya bitches" Charlie said with a small smile and went with Jo. Dean also smiled at them.

"Yeah see ya" Dean yelled their back.

Dean sighed and waited a few seconds to get his head clear before he goes to his lectures then he stood up and walk towards his locker. He has to get a decision. He just wanted to get this match. He wanted to show his dad he is not a loser. He wanted to make sure to impress his dad and dad to know that Dean was worthy. He wanted to save his family from falling apart before it broken into pieces. So his opportunity is in front of him but even though he can't say yes to that fucking bet and ruin that nerd. and go get what he wants. But why? Even Dean hates Castiel that much. No, he had to get a decision. Dean thought he will decide before the end of today.

"Hey, Dean coach Singer asked you to come and meet him" A boy came and said to Dean as he came out of his thoughts.  
What he wants now, great.

Dean just nodded at the boy and walked towards the poolside office of Coach Singer. He gulped and stand in front of the door having no idea about why his uncle Bobby called him right now. Normally uncle Bobby or Swimming coach Singer never called him like this if it's not important.  
Ok whatever, he thought and knocked on the door.

"Sir, it's Dean, may I come in?"

"Come boy," Dean heard Bobby's grumpy rough voice.

Dean slowly entered the room to face very angry faced Bobby sitting on his table and glaring at him, Dean closed the door and tried to smile with him and tried to remember what he had done today for this meeting.  
"What the hell Idjit what are you doing? Are you lost your mind?" Bobby burst on Dean as he just stared at him with shock.

"Sir I don't understand what are you talking about?"

"Damn boy, don't act like a baby, what did you do before a few minutes ago? Huh? I'm on a alert these days about bullying in the college. I know you were up to something about that innocent boy, what's his name .. Ah, Castiel. Aren't you boy? Didn't you threaten him a few minutes ago?" Bobby shouted at him.

Dean didn't say anything as his anger started to boil. Great. again that nerd, he must be finally got a gut and came directly to bobby and complain him. awesome. Dean felt anger boiling about Castiel inside him.

"And you know because of your Mom's request I tried and helped to enroll you this college again. So don't forget that your responsibly is on me now, even though you are still acting like a 7"

Bobby was so angry so Dean decided to shut his mouth because he didn't want more trouble.

"And of course, Rufus kept crying that he can't keep you in the team as you have missed practice more than a month now repeatedly. What are you even doing son, I know Mary's accident took your time. but it was mouth ago, but now why in the world you missed the practice? You want to resign from the team? I thought you were obsessed with football"

Dean gasped in shock.

"No no Bobby I swear it's not my fault these few teammates are messed with me, and I'm not gonna miss the practice anymore. I swear please help me please tell coach Rufus not to push me out. I'm gonna work hard on practicing I swear uncle Bobby please help me" Dean begged and his anger towards Castiel also grew.

Bobby sighed.

"The only thing I can do is just asking Rufus to give some chance.but the decision is up to him, and I think you still got chance to stay in the team if you keep going to practice, and boy, stays away from that kid and don't involve to any bullies, coz if I catch anyone cold-blooded I'm gonna kick them out of the college in next second, even if that is you, no more warning" Bobby warned and Dean nodded.

"Yes yes, of course, Sir. I will do everything you said, thank you" Dean said quickly.

"Now get out of my room" Bobby sighed and yelled.

Dean quickly ran out of the room and close it behind him.

Now he doesn't want to wait for the whole day to make a decision. He knew what he should do. Castiel never gonna learn to stay away from his path, so, be it. Dean's anger helped him to get the decision he wanted as he walked out of the building and quickly went to the place the football team normally hangout when they cut the classes.

"Hey look who finally come back. Hey Winchester welcome back, we kinda miss you" Alastair yelled when he saw Dean coming to them.  
"You wanna beer looks like you are already sobered" Uriel offered.

"No need, I just came to inform my decision"  
Dean said directly.  
"But the rules are rules after I won the bet, I'm in the Game. Okay? I should definitely play the match if not I swear to god I will make all of your life a living hell" Dean threatened.

Alastair grinned and came to Dean and patted on his shoulder, Winchester, Winchester hell is our home and besides you know if I give a word I never change it, Michael here will take care of your match definitely. The team leader is got the power you already know that" He said.  
Dean just nodded.

"You better"  
Dean said looking at all of their faces

"So then it's a deal" Azazel added.  
"Now Dean accepted the bet. So if he wins he is proving he is not a Gay, and of course his name goes to the list and he will play the big match coming.  
Unfortunately, if he lost or withdrawn the bet he has to paint his precious impala in rainbow colors and he will never play the match and of course, we will make sure your name will rewrite as a Gay boy in books"  
Azazel grinned and said. Others also agreed with him.  
Dean wanted to punch him so hard but he barely controlled himself.  
"Okay Winchester you got 4 months, it's showtime" Michael sang making the team laugh and earning a death glare from Dean.  
.....  
Castiel's day sucked from the start. First Alfie started to flirt with him, it was awkward. then Dean's crazy and strange acting, like he care a bit then again switched to hating mood. Then Alfie got pissed at Dean then stormed to Coach Singer's office and complain about Dean without even don't care when Castiel begging to stop. Castiel didn't know what it would be but he was ready to face the consequences too because of Alfie's stupid anger. Castiel sometimes wished if he can invisible to Dean. Because he was fed up with his troubles. Dean made sure to make his life a living hell even without a fair reason. Castiel hissed with painful memories. He was walking home after college suddenly he felt a huge loneliness. he was exhausted from the day after all. Even now when he went home he will get a shower then probably not making any lunch and will study more. Then will have something for dinner then fell asleep. That's it nothing special or no one there to talk to. Sometimes he wants to scream loud and cry when his heart is filled with all the pain and loneliness he felt.  
He sighed he wanted some happiness. But then he remembered Mary.  
Oh  
He already got an invitation for a dinner. His innocent tired face lightening by a beautiful smile. It's still not late. Mary will love to have him in anytime. he knew that but the problem was his stupid social phobia. He was not like that when he was a kid, he was very social and very active happy kid but after everything he went through he changed a lot. But it's not like Mary is a new face to him. Also, he already met Sam, and besides them, there will be only Mary's eldest son. As Mary mentioned her details there must be those three people in her family and she never mentioned her husband or anyone else. So it's not a big deal. So he should not be afraid. He can message and can tell Gabriel that he is going to sleep earlier. then don't want to worry if in any case, Gabriel tried to call him or face time him. So actually he can try this. Because he thought he deserved something like this. He very rarely had a happy time. So he can try this. Castiel took a long breath in and slowly released it. Then took his phone from his pocket and dialed Mary's number.  
The call connected and started to ring on other side. Castiel waited and waited and his heart was hurting now, then he released a breathe he never knew he was holding until now. With that call go to the voice mail. Castiel didn't want to put a message as he ended the call with a disappointed face. He was thinking about whether call back or not when his phone started to ringing making him jump.  
Castiel looked at the screen suddenly, oh it's Mary. He answered the phone with a big grin on his face.  
"Clarence son, sorry I didn't see your call, I just see the missed call, everything is okay right?"  
Castiel was smiling to the floor before answering.  
"Yes yes Mary, actually I called to um.. To check I'm.. A.. I wanted to ask.. Um.. that, if you okay with if.."  
Mary chuckled a little bit.  
"Sweetheart, I told you that you are a son to me now, so please don't be shy or hesitate to ask anything, just go to it son, what's wrong?"  
Castiel felt a warm feeling in his heart and heaviness there.  
"Um, Mary is that okay if I come over, I know I told you in the morning that we will arrange it anoth.."  
Castiel couldn't able to finish as he heard Mary's very enthusiastic and happy tone.  
"Oh yes yes son that would be so awesome Clarence, my sons will be very happy to hear that"  
Castiel felt relief when he heard her reply.  
"Sweetie can you come over maybe 5. And I can come over to pick you up if you okay with that" Mary kindly offered and that's surprised Castiel.

"No, no Mary it's fine I will come over at that time just text me your address, and is that, okay? I mean.. it's almost afternoon and I hope it's not too much trouble"

"Clarence shut up, you are never a trouble to us, we love to have you here, and please don't worry about it and just come okay, I'm so happy finally you come over and we all can sit and eat together, thank you for accepting the invite Son" Mary's voice was mixed of, love, sad, excited and happy.

Castiel was very excited and a bit nervous. But he really really wanted this.  
"Okay Mary I will, and thank you too"

"Okay son see you soon then, bye"

Castiel hang up and then quickly went home. Since he confirmed the dinner plan, his heart was filled with different, different feelings. But mostly he felt happy and he liked it. He wanted to feel often that happy feeling. He sighed and quickened his steps.

He just laid on his couch soon as he got home.there is few hours until he had to leave the house otherwise it would be early to go to Mary's place. He was so excited and nervous in same time so he couldn't do anything right now. Then he got an idea. Actually, this is the first time he going there it would be nice if he can bring something with him. What would be good for taking for a dinner over? Castiel didn't have lots of money for a fancy big present. And he doesn't have to impress anyone he just wants to make Mary happy and to be polite. Besides Mary never gonna accept any expensive gift if he even tries to bring them with him. So he started to pace back and forth in his room thinking more.  
What should I bring with me?.... Castiel thought and though and kept thinking until he figured out one thing. One of his favorite thing in his loneliness filled life. Which always succeed to makes him very happy.

"Pie"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think about the episode.  
> And your big kudos and comments are so much welcome.😍😍😍😍😍


	8. Oh my god Winchester?  Holy mother of god Novak?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel or Dean never ever expected what gonna happened to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So This chapter is very important to me 😍 because I have imagined this scene long time ago and I couldn't write it those time.  
> But I love to share it with you guys even I'm not a writer. So stared to write this 😇😇
> 
> There must be lots of mistakes in my writing, sorry about that though.
> 
> Tell me how you feeling about this chapter.

Castiel quickly checked his kitchen cupboards for flour and other stuff for a pie. Thank to god he had everything, and of course, he got some apples from the last shopping trip so everything is covered. He felt happy as he sighed in relief.

It's been a long time since the last time he baked something.  
Actually, he loved to cook and bake. He still remembers the way his mom used to bake pies and cakes for him. Even he was a little kid those days he learned everything from her. But now he barely baking because of few reasons.

First one, there is no one to share the baking foods here anymore, if he bakes something he had to eat it alone, and he hated it. Of course besides the days Gabriel visiting him. But practically Gabriel was living in his own bakery so baking is not a fascinating thing or new thing to him. But He always loved Castiel's foods. He even had offered the job in his bakery after Castiel's graduation making Castiel rolling his eyes for his elder brother.

And the other reason Castiel didn't like to bake much, because baking takes time. so the whole time he had to stay along then after he has to eat along. So that's why he always makes sure to settle with very little meals very quickly or most of the time missing lunches and dinners as sleeping with an empty stomach. He was used to that now.

Anyhow, this case is different, even he baked this pie along, he can consume it with few people who genuinely appreciate his presence. So it would be so nice.  
Castiel quickly made the dough and sliced the apples. Finally, he put the pie inside the oven and set the timer before going to the bathroom for getting a shower.

After the shower, he came out with a towel wrapped around his hips and quickly rushed to the kitchen as he heard the timer goes off. The moment he put the step into the kitchen there's an amazing smell of freshly baked apple pie. It's reminded home, of course, Castiel was at home but when it's come to living alone here without anyone in his life it's mostly like a cold, smell-less, just apartment. But now the whole kitchen was like it's come to life again. Castiel mentally noted to bake often even how much it's hard to do alone.

The mouthwatering smell of baked apple and hint of cinnamon made Castiel's stomach growled. He got the hint as he checked the time. okay, it's time to get ready.  
So obviously it's not a huge party or something, and of course, there is nothing, something like he had to impress someone. So no fancy stuff just comfortable is the main point as always. So he chose to wear a white shirt written "I love bees" With a bee who had a business suit, a tie, and a briefcase. He loved that shirt. There is no one to call him a nerd or to judge him there. so it would be fine to wear it. And of course, no one gonna see it because he always wore his light blue cool sweaters on it. So no problem indeed because he is not gonna remove the sweater.

He just let his wet hair to stay as it is. Because he knew even if he tried to fix his hair, it will end with a disaster bed head, so the current messy look is better than that.  
He looked at the mirror. Okay, nothing is special. Only weird, nerd, pathetic ass Castiel Novak. Hey, but who cares he got a dinner out. He is happy even he is nothing special he is happy tonight.

He quickly packed the pie and carefully arranged it inside his backpack. And he closed and locked his door and walk to the bus stop. He didn't want to go to Mary's house by Gabriel's old truck. It's better to take the bus. Even it will be a bit night when he comes back it's fine. Castiel really likes to get a window seat and plug his earphones and listen to his music. It's a peaceful thing to do.

............

Okay, Dean in a trouble. Dean Winchester hates Castiel Novak. Yes okay? So what? But now he is agreed to that bet which now he had to take Castiel's virginity and bring him to a party, which Castiel never ever gone before.

Awesome what a great idea Winchester. When he remembered the taking virginity part, his whole body starts to shivering and his skin was tingling and tight with goosebumps.

And then again he can remember the morning scene which shocked him. The Castiel's mouthwatering body in that running gear, oh god all wet with the sweat, His body was like on fire as all the sweat trickled down his face. And his tight shorts were showing off the lines of his bubble round ass.  
Definitely, Castiel got a big ass.

//damn Dean you are a fucking idiot. Stop drooling on your enemy's ass//  
Fine. Dean wanted to forget everything for a bit. He got four months, he can figure out what and how to do this later. But now he really wanted to get laid.

He didn't remember the last time he got laid even he didn't hit on a chick after a long time.  
Okay, how about that Lisa girl. it was the last period and after the agreed to the bet and Bobby's lecture Dean's mind was not stable. He really really gone for it.

Lisa was giving hints to him for weeks now, flirting and bending over tables and pretending to pick up something she dropped when Dean passing by her. Yeah, she is into Dean, so be it. As soon as the last lecture end Dean walked out and started to search Lisa and her gang. It wasn't hard to find her.

"Hey Lis what's up" He smirked.  
"Hey handsome finally someone remembered me," She said seductively and soothed her soft palm on Dean's chest.  
"Yeah um you know was a bit busy with stuff," Dean said awkwardly but inside his brain, something felt not okay. He didn't know what was that.

"Yeah whatever, mmm you know I don't have any plan for today evening, so you wanna make out inside your big old car?" Her red color painted long nails moved to his lips over his jaw.

Okay, that's exactly not the best way to go to Dean's heart. How dare she talk to his baby like that. But Dean didn't say anything right now because she is so sexy and hot like this. Dean's eyes touched a bit of lust and he licked his lips.

"Oh yeah why not" He grabbed her hand and turned to go to the car park. Then his eyes hit on someone.  
Those blue eyes shining with pure laugh whatever that little fucker murmuring to his ears. Castiel and that boy named Alfred or Alfer or something like that. They were going out of the class. That fucker was all over Castiel and telling something to his ears. What the fuck? Castiel isn't deaf. Why can't they just talk normally?

Okay, Dean wth? You are with a chick on your hand and going to make out inside your car which got insulted as an old car by the same chick. And here you are, complaining about your biggest enemy and his boyfriend being a bit intimate, what? Boyfriend. No in the hell. that boy is not Castiel's boyfriend. Definitely not. Just look at them. They aren't matching obviously.

"What the fuck that fucker doing all over him?" Dean never expects to say it loud but too late, Lisa's eyes were on him with a not understanding face.

"Huh? What is it?" She asked.

"Um nothing, nothing, just let's go" Dean shook his head and dragged her to his car. Before Dean opens the car door Lisa was on him. Started to kiss him hungrily. But wait what? Dean didn't kiss her back. One minute passed, two minutes passed. No, still Dean didn't kiss her. He just wanted to push her and chase someone else but who? And why?  
Without even thinking he pushed Lisa away. the Unexpected push made Lisa shock and she quickly backed away and gave him a death glare.

"What the fuck Dean? Did you just push me? And hell you didn't kiss me either? What the fuck?"

Lisa blasted like a bomb in front of Dean and Dean didn't know what to say.

"Um so sorry Lisa I'm. um, I think I distracted" Awesome way to go Winchester now answer her next obvious question.

"Distracted? Distracted by who? Damn it Dean you know that whole college Distracted by me, who is here to distracted over me?" Lisa was in a murdering mood and gritting her teeth.

Dean unknowingly chuckled at that but after seconds regret by it gaining a slap from Lisa.  
"You are a fucking asshole, go to hell Winchester " She yelled at him and stormed away.

"I'm sorry Lisa but definitely there is someone who Distracted me more than anyone else" Dean yelled back. But who? He asked himself who the fuck was there take his attention over a hot fuck? Dean didn't want to dig it out so he got in the car and drew home with heavy heart and mind. You are totally fucked up Winchester. Totally fucked up.

........

"Dean, finally you are home, listen Clarence had called mom a few minutes ago" Sam beamed as a child and Dean rolled his eyes.  
"Okay, okay kid, calm down okay? Your Santa is coming home today? " Dean teased him and Sam punched his arm.

"Okay boys, listen Clarence is coming at 5 pm here. and please behave okay? Sam had already met him and the kid is a bit shy. So please don't say unnecessary things and don't ask lots of questions especially about his family. I don't know what's going on with him but seems like he wants to keep something to himself" Mary warned because she didn't want to scare the boy.

Sam snorted. "Mom thinking she is Sherlock Holmes".

Dean also chuckled at that.

"Is that so Mom?" Dean drew his arm around his Mom's shoulder.

"But you know, don't worry we are not gonna bite your precious new son, I mean at least ME, I'm not gonna bite him but I can't guarantee about this drooling giant here, I don't know what's going on him though" Dean chuckled and earned two punches from both Mom and Sam.

"Ouch, that's hurt though" Dean yelled over his shoulder climbing the stairs, going toward his room.

"Hey Dean, what? Where are you going? you don't come to help us with cooking?" Sam yelled.

"Later Sammy later, I'm a bit tired," He said before vanished to his room.

"It's okay Sam, I can manage" Mary assured Sam who was gonna complain again.

Mary and Sam cooked and prepared dinner quickly. Actually, Sam can't cook but he helped his Mom at his best and when it's 4.30 they finished all and the whole kitchen was smelled like heaven.

They cooked a huge smoking bowl of Spaghetti And Meatballs, and for side, Creamy Garlic Mashed Potatoes, and grated Cheese, baked vegetables.

Mary and Sam looked over the food and smiled.

"Amazing Mom smells so nice," Sam said.

"Thank you, sweetie, okay now we have to check everything, come check with me" Mary wanted to make sure everything is covered.

"Spaghetti and meatballs," Mary asked.

"Checked," Sam said pointing at the bowl.

"Mashed Potatoes"

"Checked"

"Cheese"

"Checked"

"Baked vegetables"

"Checked"

"Coca-Cola"

"Checked"

"Cheesecake and ice cream," Mary asked pointing at the refrigerator.

"Checked," Sam said quickly while open the fridge and grabbing the ice cream tub and looking for the cheesecake.

"Um wait this is not heavy and it's.. Oh god" With that Sam quickly opened the ice cream tub.

Both of them looked at each other with an open mouth.

"Mom it's empty"

"Yes Sam I can see that, did you ate it" Mary glared at him.

"What, no Mom, why'd I eat the whole ice cream tub? and where the cheesecake?"

Then Mary's eyes went wider.  
She pulled Sam aside and checked herself the fridge. The cheesecake wasn't there.

"I brought those yesterday evening and put them in the fridge, what happ" Mary couldn't able to finish it as they heard Dean's sleepy voice.

"Oh hey smells awesome guys, seems like I have missed the best part, sorry I just fell asleep" Dean yawned.

Mary was glaring at him, her one hand on her waist and other hand on the counter. Okay, typical pissed Mom mood activated. And also Sam's bitch faced toward Dean.

"Dean what did you do?" Sam barked.

"What? I didn't do anything, what are you asking" Dean made a face like what the hell you talking about.

"Dean! Did you eat whole ice cream and the cheesecake I brought yesterday evening" Mary asked very patiently.

Oh boy, now it clicked to Dean. Yes, he did. He gulped thickly. Normally They can eat anything they want but now he can understand his Mom's mood, that should be Clarence's dessert.

"Mom I was going to tell you but I forget. I was watching a movie yesterday night" Dean said with puppy eyes.

"So what? We asked you about ice cream and cake jerk" Sam interrupted.

"Shut up Bitch let me talk to Mom" Dean barked back.

"Shut up both of you, tell me, Dean, what did you do?" Mary asked again.

"Mom yesterday night I ate ice cream while watching the movie then I was still hungry and wanted more snacks. Then I reminded the cheesecake, but I didn't mean to eat all, but it happened, sorry Mom" Mary closed her eyes. Sam glared at Dean like he is going to throw something at him. Dean shrugged looking at him.

"Dean I don't care about you ate it, of course, I brought them for both of you, but the problem is you knew I'm waiting for a guest and I thought we have dessert. So I didn't make anything and now we don't have any dessert and it's 4.50 now, I mean you should have told me that you finished all, then I could have to bring something"

"Mom, I thought you will bake some pie"

"No Dean, I didn't, who knows he likes pie, but everyone like ice cream and cake so I was okay with that"

"What? Who doesn't like Pie? What kind of person doesn't like pie" Dean started to argue and Mary's anger went high.

"Shut up Dean, stop your nonsense, now hurry up and go bring some ice cream and some Cake. Anything you can found but make sure they are good, hurry up and go" Mary shouted.

"But Mom now? It's raining and"

"Dean it's already stopped raining. just go, NOW" Mary yelled this time Dean ran to his room.

"Okay Mom okay, I'm going, I'm going Jesus" Dean yelled back.

Dean put on his jacket and put on his denim with a record time and grabbed his keys. However, after three minutes, Mary had yelled at him he was on the road to the nearest store to get the dessert.

It was raining outside a few hours ago but now it's not raining that much. Anyhow he drove a bit carefully.

......

When the rain starts Castiel was on the bus, he quickly checked for his umbrella and cursed himself when he found he has forgotten it home.  
Maybe he can wait under the bus halt a bit then he can walk when it's raining stop. But luckily when he got off the bus the rain was stopped almost but there was a tiny spray of raindrops. So he decided he can walk. Then he got his phone and open the Google map and started walking to Mary's house as it shows. The house was not very far and it was easy to find.

What the hell? Was Castiel dreaming? Because he could hear the familiar rumbling sound and he frowned. Couldn't he live like five hours without having the freaking Winchester in his view of the eyes? Shit. Yes, he was correct. it's Dean freaking Winchester's Mighty beautiful car. Castiel can recognize the sound even close his eyes but it doesn't matter because now he can see the impala coming in front of him a bit far.

What the hell is Winchester doing in this area?

Dean was singing along the song played in the setup, when he notices Castiel. He can see Castiel clearly even he was still walking towards him a bit far. Wearing a nerd sweater just the typical Castiel. Matching to his nerd's face. Dean thought.

But what in the world is he doing here?

When it's getting closer by closer Dean saw a thick area of rainwater flowing over the road and a puddle. Dean didn't think twice and speeded up the car. He can remember the morning running version of Castiel, then how his drunken eyes saw Castiel, then again Castiel's complaint to Bobby, then he agreed to the bet, then that fucker all over Castiel, after all, he rejected Lisa, everything came to his memory in seconds. He smirked at the poor boy who now staring at Dean through the windscreen. Then next second Dean turned the steering wheel a bit towards the water puddle and drove the car through the puddle making a huge splash, spraying and showering the muddy, dirty water all over Castiel who yelled with a shock.

Dean started to laugh loudly driving past the poor boy who was standing there without even knowing what to do. His face was very near to cry. Dean saw that but he didn't care. He just punched the steering wheel laughing.

.....

Castiel knew something going to happen and then he saw it coming, but he didn't have time to cover himself so just tried to cover his face.  
But too late, Asshole destroyed his whole evening. He never expected something like this. His clean beautifully smelled sweater is now muddy and wet like hell. And he was shivering with anger, and also with cold.

Castiel can't figure out what to do now, as the map it's like 3 minutes to Mary's house. But he can't go there like this. But he can't go back either. Castiel felt he is going to have a panic attack. God no, no, not now. He started breathing and tried to count 1 to 10 and back. He didn't want to panic right now. If he failed right now, he will never get rid of his social fears and this fucking loneliness filled life. Also, Mary will be upset with him.

No, he is not a coward. He has a gut. Whatever happens, he is strong than this. He should go there. Mary will understand when he explains what happened.

And also before everything, he had to fix one major mistake. His name. he is going to tell Mary that his real name, is the first thing this time.

//ding dong//

"It should be Clarence," Mary said smiling at Sam who standup quickly from the couch beaming and coming behind Mary towards the door.

Mary quickly opened the door with a very nice smile on her face.

"Welcome, Clarence we were wai..oh god, son what happened" Mary was going to say they were waiting for him but as soon as he saw Castiel her face got shocked. Castiel was on her doorstep shivering and all wet and muddy. Water droplets were falling off his whole body even from his hair.

"Mary I'm so sorry, but I have to tell you something"

Mary's mouth hanging open. What happened to this boy, he is even not wanting to come inside but babbling that wants to tell something. Oh god.

"Clarence, please Come inside quickly. oh god, you are shivering, what happened to you son? You are okay?" Mary's voice is so concerned and Sam was staring at him like seeing a ghost. Mary pulled him inside the house and closed the door.

"I will tell you about that, but first of all let me tell you one thing I should have correct a long time ago Mary," Castiel said like a beg his voice is so small.

"Okay, okay son you can tell anything"

"Mary, Sam, Clarence is not my name. My name is Castiel Novak" Mary and Sam looked at each other then chuckled a little bit. Then Mary glance over Castiel. Kindly smiling at him.

"Son we don't care about your name, it's all about you and your kind heart. And we can discuss everything later. But I want you to change these wet clothes as soon as possible. Otherwise, you will get cold. Do you like to get a warm shower, first son? Don't be shy, think it's your home" Mary offered. But No, Castiel can't go so far, but he really wanted to change these wet clothes though. He didn't like cold. he hated it. He never wants to feel the coldness.

"No.. ah actually thank you very much but No shower and yes some dry clothes will be very nice right now, thank you very much" Castiel answered politely but a bit shy.

"Come Castiel, my clothes will be definitely huge for you but I'm sure I can find some old t-shirt and pants from my brother's wardrobe, come with me," Sam said before took the lead to the upstairs. Castiel nodded at him. but remembered about the pie.

"Yes thank you, Sam, oh but wait a minute"

Then quickly shrugged the bag from his shoulder and opened it. Carefully take out the pie which was covered with a lid and gave it to Mary who glanced him a surprised look.

"Oh thank you, Clarence. Oh, I mean Castiel. Sorry, hey what's it?" She asked laughing at her mistake.

"It's fine Mary, oh it's a pie, I hope the water will not go inside but maybe you can reheat it a bit," He said shyly. He is very proud of himself till now as he holding himself without panicking.

Mary and Sam shared a little knowing smile when they heard the word pie. Castiel tilted his head a bit and looked at Mary.

"Oh, you will understand the relationship between pie and our family soon Sweetie. And we will talk about everything after making sure you are not cold, now first fresh clothes. And thank you so much for this and so nice of you to bring this with you"

"Oh Castiel it smells very nice, did you brought it on the way?" Sam asked climbing the staircase, while Castiel and Mary coming behind him.

Castiel blushed a bit before answer that.  
"Um thank you, Sam, actually I baked it by myself"

"Wow that's an amazing man" Sam patted on his wet shoulder walking inside Dean's room.

Sam started to choose Dean's clothes quickly.

Castiel just waited outside with Mary.

"By the way did you felt, son? You are so badly wet" Mary asked very sadly trying to wipe some dirt from his hair.

Castiel felt anger when he reminds what happened.

"No Mary actually this one boy from College who's used to bullying me, just drove over a huge mud puddle over me" Castiel just said everything because he was angry.

Mary's face also colored with anger.

"What? God these kids.. If I was there I know what to do to him. I'm so angry right now so so angry, seriously son you okay? that boy didn't hit you by the car right?"

No, no Mary nothing happened like that, I promise you "

"Okay but it's still not fair. I wish if I find him to teach him a lesson" Mary babbling with anger.

"Okay found some" Castiel come over, it's okay, it's my brother's room" Sam yelled from the room.

"Go inside Castiel, and change all wet clothes and come down, bring your clothes and we can dry them for you okay? And if you want anything else just call me. I and Sam will be down waiting for you" Mary smiled at him then both she and Sam walked downstairs leaving Castiel inside her elder son's room.

Castiel just closed the door and put his bag on the floor because it was still wet. Then he started to take off his wet clothes.

Mary and Sam quickly headed to the kitchen.

"What the hell was that Mom" Sam burst.

"I don't know Sam, did you see that poor kid's face, I'm so upset about him Sam, I'm so sad about him," Mary said with a real upset tone.

"Me too Mom, he doesn't deserve to bullying like that, he is a really good kid, see he had brought this pie with him"

"Yes that's why I always telling you guys this child is a very special one, really good kid," Mary said and put the pie in the microwave.

.......

Mary and Sam were in the kitchen and they were talking about what happened.  
Then Dean came but he was pissed because he happened to see Castiel on the way then he splashed nerd good muddy water then he went to the shop but he couldn't find any cheesecake as everything was sold, awesome, now if he goes home with only ice cream his Mom will kill him. So he had to stop by more than 5 shops to finally find a freaking cheesecake. So here he is so pissed and done for the day. He brought two grocery bags and put them on the table not wanting to face Mom and the Guest right now, he just directly marched towards his room glaring at the kitchen where the voices coming right now.

can recognize Mom's and Sam's voices maybe Clarence is also there with them. Dean sighed. whatever happens, he should thank the guy as he owes him a big time. So he thought he will come back after quickly change his clothes. But he never ever wished to see what he was about to see after two seconds.

Okay, strange. His room was closed. But He remembers very well that he never closed it when he goes out earlier. Ok, whatever. He put his hand on the door nob and opened it.

Then as the both of them, the world stopped for a few seconds. And two things happened.

1\. Castiel yelped and turned around to see who opened the door without knocking because he was half-naked right now.

2\. Dean completely dropped his jaw and freeze on his foot and stared at Castiel.

Castiel was only in his boxer briefs and no t-shirt. He was trying to putting on the given fresh pants, but never able to finish as the door opened before that. and now Dean freaking Winchester is starting at his naked body. Awe-freaking-some.

The only thing working on Dean's body was his eyes. His brain is having a coma right now but his hungry eyes roaming all over Castiel's tan and beautiful sexy body but then Castiel suddenly looks like he was getting out of his own brain coma. because he just sat on the bed and covered his body with the only cloth he got in his hand, the pant he was going to wear.

Dean was happily trailed his eyes on Castiel's left nipple. Shit, he couldn't able to see it properly as Castiel covered it, shit Dean was worried about that and then he heard Castiel's yell.

"GET OUT DEAN" with that Dean understand what he was doing and he jumped back and closed the door the next second.

"Son of a bitch, Novak?"

"Holy mother of god, Winchester?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was it? 😍
> 
> Your big kudos and comments are so welcome and love to have them. 😘😘😍
> 
> And hey it's Christmas time uhhh so excited 🎄❄💝✨💫☄☃ even I'm a Buddhist I had celebrated Christmas for my entire life, so my lovelies Merry Christmas😄🎄🎁❄🎅


	9. Let me tell you a secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alert - mention of memory/ past attempt to try of a assault. (Only try which never succeed)
> 
> So Castiel finally decided to tell one of his secret to Mary. Because he didn't want to lose her. And it's a bit dark secret.
> 
> Dean in shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you tell me if there anything in the fic that I should correct.
> 
> Sorry about mistakes lovelies.
> 
> 😘😘 enjoy and don't forget to tell me about it.

*What is the loving of god Dean is doing in Mary's house.

Castiel murmured and he never got dressed that much speed in his life before.

Dean in other side,

*What On Earth is Castiel Doing Here, in my room, half-naked?

Oh

Wait? What?

Half naked? (shit I missed his gorgeous nipple) (concentrate Winchester Concentrate! Focus! )

And wait a minute, that is MY room.

Son of a bitch, half-naked or not I'm going in, that's my room.

The next moment Dean opened the door to face very shocked, Wet and very messy hair, and pale face Castiel Novak who was standing there holding some bunch of wet clothes.

Dean not angry but he was still in shock. And he was still upset because he couldn't able to see his enemy's sweet nipples. (Fuck you Winchester stop it)

"What the fuck you doing here Novak and how the hell you command me to get out of my own fucking room" Dean groaned and stepped forward to Castiel's personal space.

//own room, own room, own room//

Okay, now it's getting clear. Castiel felt he is going to faint and he had to fought the rising panic. his heart hammered in his chest when his brain started to solve the puzzle piece by piece.

And then Dean checked Castiel's whole body and his stomach clenched as a strange feeling touched his heart when he noticed that Castiel is wearing his old t-shirt and pants. Which was small to him, but they are still a bit big for Castiel.

Holy fuck he is fucking cute on my clothes.

(gather yourself, Winchester)

Okay

"And why in the hell you wearing my clothes" Dean yelled again.

Castiel's mouth fell open and his eyes went wide as anger boiled inside him.

"I didn't know these clothes were yours, but I had to wear these because you showered me with that muddy and dirty water Winchester" Castiel couldn't able to hold him back as he yelled.

Suddenly Sam and Mary were there and They were frozen in their places when they heard Dean and Castiel.

Both Dean and Castiel didn't saw them as Dean started to gritted his teeth.

"Shut up nerd and give me my clothes back" Dean shouted at him and tried to tug from the baggy t-shirt which Castiel now wearing, making Castiel horrified.

"NO. Winchester... what.. What are you.. NO, NO.. stop" Castiel tried to stop him patting his hands. And Dean stopped smirking at him.

Then next second Dean pulled back by his shoulder then. all of them heard a sound of a loud slap.

.........

Castiel, Sam, Dean all of them gasped at the sound but Dean holds his cheek tightly with a shocked face with wide eyes.

"Mom, you slapped me?" It's almost like a question more than a state.

"Yes Dean, I slapped you because you are the boy who wet Castiel on the way, and I saw you were going to force him to give your clothes back"

Mary yelled at Dean.

Castiel can hear that word again and again.

//Mom, you slapped me//

//Mom?//

//Dean called Mary Mom?//

Castiel can feel his panic surged through him very strongly.

"What Mom what are you saying? Okay, we can talk about it later, let's talk about the elephant in the room. do you know this is not Clarence this is Novak, Castiel Novak the nerd from my college, and of course I just messing with him when I asked my cloths back. Jeez.." Dean shouted as he was angry and still in shock with everything happend.

"And you know I knew the guy is a huge nerd but never knew he is a cheater and a liar. he must be acting like Clarence but he is not" Dean burst out angrily.

This is the worst thing Castiel can think about. he never wanted Mary to think about him like that no, no, no, please. He felt very sick and he wanted to throw up. And then Castiel was going to say that he wasn't a liar. But then it happened, he felt like the room spinning, and then he was on the floor. then everything went blur.

"Castiel, son please open the eyes, hey, hey Castiel, can you hear me" Castiel can hear Mary's voice very slowly and low like she is talking to her from very far.

"Castiel please talk to us, what's happening" that's Sam.

Castiel slowly opened his eyes he still can't breathe perfectly.

"Cas breathe, breathe with me, hey breath in breath out" What the hell? is that Dean? Why was he.. And did he call CAS? Oh hell, here we go.

Castiel had a panic attack again. Anyhow he breathed properly and slowly he can see people around him. Mary was there with shocked eyes, then Sam he was like nearly get a heart attack, then Dean? Why'd Dean leaning into his face with a worrying face? He is the person who responsible for everything. Castiel closed his eyes again.

They stayed like that few minutes. Then he felt he can open his eyes and can breathe properly.

Then the first thing he does was crying. Castiel Novak is started to sobbing and Mary quickly hugged him.

"Shh shhh Castiel it's okay it's fine, you don't need to cry, shh shhh don't cry son, I'm here I'm here" Mary kept soothing him while Sam and Dean looking at them with worrying eyes. Sam wiped his eyes a few times and Dean pretended like he didn't see that.

"Castiel? Sweetie, please don't cry son, you think you want to go to the hospital? I mean I know that was a panic attack but at any point, if you want to"

Mary was asked rocking him slowly back and forth.

Then suddenly Castiel looked at her with begging eyes.

"No Mary no I don't want to go to the hospital" He murmured.

"Okay, okay then it's okay, we can stay like this as much as you want after we will eat okay, I want you to eat something as soon as possible"

Tears rolled over Castiel's soft cheeks when he shook his head.

"No Mary I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything, I never mean anything like this. And this is why I'm not hanging out with people because I ended up with like this. I'm not good with these things Mary, I'm a curse" Castiel started to cry again as he couldn't finish it.

"Oh my god Castiel please son don't talk like that, you are not a curse you are a precious little kid who is very kind and very good gentlemen, please don't say those stuff again" Mary stroked his silky hair, still rocking him.

Sam was now obviously crying and Dean couldn't believe what he heard. He got afraid because he felt his heart was going to blast soon.

"No Mary that's the truth, and, and I'm so sorry Mary. And Dean.. I'm sorry for every, for using your room, for taking your clothes, and for making your mom slaps you, I'm so sorry please don't hate me more, please" Dean was just staring at the poor kid, just opened and closed his mouth few times but words didn't come out.

"Okay that's enough Castiel, please now I want you to eat something, just right now, no argument. Come I'm not going anywhere I'm right here with you, Sam please help me" Mary and Sam helped Castiel to walk downstairs and they made him sit on the chair of the dining table.

"And Mary I want you to know that I'm not a liar or a cheater" Castiel sobbed.

"Oh Castiel, we know that because of this stupid boy here didn't know that, me and Sam both aware that who you. you told us. that you are Castiel, as soon as you came here. and we never think that you are a liar or a cheater" Mary assured and Castiel nodded at Mary.

"And Mary I never thought that I'd say this to anyone else in my life, but I wanted to let you know why I hide my real name from you. because I want to prove that I'm not a liar, to prove that I'm not a cheater. You are the first human being who be kind to me after my brother. So I can't just let you think about me like that, even you never want to see me ever again I want to say this to you because you remind me of my Mother and I missed her so much" Castiel cried again.

"Hey hey son, it's okay, it's okay just let it all go, it's only us, okay. And I'm telling you again, I never thought about you like that, and never will be, and I'm really really gonna see you every day since today no matter what happened. and if you not gonna visit me, I'm gonna come there and kick your ass until you come home, okay? Mary said making him a little bit smile through his tears. She was kept hugging him.

"Now, how about we all have our little dinner because I want you to eat something soon Castiel," Mary said cupping his teary cheeks smiling at him.

Castiel shook his head again.

"Please Mary can I say the reason I hide myself first? Then I can go home peacefully, I can't eat now, I just want to go home" With that, All of the three Winchesters looked at him.

"No Castiel you are not going anywhere without having dinner with us? Okay," Sam said and put his hand on Castiel's shoulders.

Dean wanted to say something too but what he is gonna say?.

He always only open and closed his mouth.

"Okay Castiel tell me your story please, you can say anything, I'm just gonna listen to you" Mary assured you. Castiel gave her a light smile and nodded. But didn't say anything, he was just looking at his hands which were on his lap.

Then Mary understood it. He looked at Sam and Dean and gesture them to go upstairs. They nodded at her before quickly ran to their rooms.

Castiel just lift his head and looked at them with a surprised face.

"Now Castiel you can talk to me, tell me son what was it?" she asked.

Castiel sighed at her and closed his eyes to gather all the things that he wants to tell Mary.

Castiel took a deep breath and glanced at Mary who just smiled sweetly at him and nodded as Castiel started his story.

"I had four members in my family. Mother, Father, my older brother Gabriel and me.

We lost our mother when I was great 3. It was a car accident and after that our family was a mess" He paused a bit and sighed.

"We had lots of problems and my life was getting a living hell. and one day.. Um, one day.." Castiel stopped talking and closed his eyes like he is in some kind of pain and Mary saw it. She quickly stroked his back.

"It's okay Castiel, you don't need to tell everything, just tell me what only you are comfortable with. Okay ?" Mary asked in a soothing tone. And Castiel seems to gather himself as he nodded at her.

At this point, Dean and Sam both came back from their rooms and were hiding back behind a wall and listening to Castiel. They knew it's not nice but they really wanted to know what's bothering this kid that much. They both glared at each other when they saw each other after sneaking out of the rooms. But then Dean signed and put a finger on his mouth as not to say a word. Then Sam gave him another glare before concentration on the speech. They heard Castiel beginning again.

"One day something happened and our Father wasn't home anymore, no one didn't found him or heard from him since that day and I and my brother was left behind home. I was a kid and my brother was 17 at that time. We both had to go to an orphanage. And it was a terrible life for me. Gabriel was arguing and fighting with the authority that he was almost 18 and let him and me go. But they never let us go and one day Gabriel came to talk with me about a very important thing. That's another day I didn't like in my life. Gabriel knew I was suffering there, he just wanted to get out of the orphanage. So that night he told me that he was going to breaking out of the orphanage and he will find a job soon then he comes back for me. I cried and told him not to leave me. He was the only family left for me. But he promised to come back soon after he finds a job and a place to live for both of us. Then I had to agree with him. Then he left me that night. I cried a lot and I fell asleep because I didn't have friends there to talk to or to share my pain.

And the next morning there was a huge commotion in the orphanage and they searched Gabriel everywhere. Then they even complained to the police. I was so scared the whole time because they all questioned me a lot. Anyhow Gabriel didn't come even 3 days passed. Mary, I thought he left me just like my mother left me" Castiel cried again and Mary was crying with him. But she hugged him and tried to soothe him.

Dean felt a huge pain, he never knew anything like this about Castiel. Now he was having a big regret in his gut because of everything he has done to him.

Castiel started again.

"But I was waiting for him because that's all what I have left to do, so I waited and waited for my brother to come back for me" Castiel stopped and looked at Mary and hold her hand tightly before starting again.

"Mary I hope you will not misunderstand after I saying this part, but if you want me to go and never even talk to you after this, I can understand and that's totally fine, I mean you guys already gave me a lot, so I want you to know.."

"Castiel, I told you, you can tell anything, ANYTHING to me and I never ever misunderstand you or never let you go, son, I promise to god I'm not gonna leave you. I promise" Mary said wiping her tears. Castiel gave her a very sad smile through his tears.

"In the orphanage, there was a male matron, and he kinda horrible person. One day he tried to touch me the ways I don't want him to touch me" Castiel tightened Mary's hand and took a huge breath.

Dean started to grit his teeth and he almost burst out from his hiding place and shout as to how they doing something like that to orphan kids. He was an angry mess but he stayed in his place because he didn't want to scare Castiel more.

"Oh, my god Son. I'm so sorry sweetie, I don't know what to tell, I'm so, so sorry honey" Mary put her hand over his mouth and said holding her tears.

"It's fine Mary, it's been a long time but actually I'm still scared so much when I remember that day," Castiel said in a very low voice.

"Then, I told him not to touch me and let me go, but he didn't listen and I pushed him hard, then he fell on the floor and he got very angry, and, and Mary He hit me, and I was too young for to fight back him but I tried to avoid his attack and I ran away from him. I ran as much as I can and finally, I got caught by one of the kind janitor work there. he was very kind to me all the time, so I told him everything before that matron coming for me. The janitor knew about that man so he helped me to get out of the orphanage gate and he gave me some coins and told me to call Gabriel as soon as possible."

Castiel paused to looked at Mary like he was checking her face because he was afraid that Mary will be asked him to leave any moment. But Mary gave him a teary smile and stroked his head.

Dean was gritting his teeth the whole time. He wanted to kill that matron bastard, he wanted to tear that bastard's heart and tell Castiel to nothing gonna happen to him like that ever. But how could he? hell, Dean was another bastard who hurt Castiel in other ways. That was a death punch to his guts. He heard Castiel's voice as he started his story again.

"I was so scared, so so scared Mary. I cried a lot. I ran and ran and ran along the road until I saw a telephone booth. I remembered Gabriel's number and I called him. I don't know how I got lucky that day because Gabriel answer the phone" With that three Winchesters sighed relief at the same time but in different positions. Mary tightly hugging Castiel and then Sam and Dean in their hiding positions.

"Gabriel came to took me and I cried hugging him like an hour. I told him what happened and he tried to storm out to the Orphanage, telling me that he gonna kill that man, but I cried again and told him I can't go there again. Then Gabriel calmed down a bit and he took me to a very small and dirty apartment. He apologizes for the late and told me he was trying to find a place for me because he thought that place was too dirty and bad for me" Castiel wiped his tears.

Mary said to him to wait a bit and came back with hot cocoa and gave it to Castiel. Castiel the poor boy thanked her in very happy voice and got a sip from his hot cocoa.

"And then Mary, my very brave brother, did everything to find a better job for us, that time he was stopped his school too. Finally, after one month, he found a job in a bakery and he found a little but clean apartment room for us. Then we lived there without anything fancy but happy because we both had each other" Castiel said softly but still tears coming from his eyes. Mary was crying and Sam also was crying like a baby.

Dean wanted to cry but the whole time he was scowling at his own palms which were on his lap as both Dean and Sam were sitting and hiding upstairs.

"After three months My Brother turned 18 and we claim our house back. So we didn't have to pay for the room rent. Gabriel worked so hard and he successfully entered me into an elementary school again. Then he entered again to high school to complete his graduation. My brother is a very great person. He is the reason I'm living today in many ways. Mary, he saved my life more times. Without him, there is no me." Castiel stopped taking another sip from the smoking hot cocoa.

"Oh my god Son, yes your brother is a hero, no wonder you are his little brother. I'm so glad he save you, son. He is a really a great kid too, I'm really glad you both are fine, thank god" Mary sighed and pressed a kiss to Castiel's temple.

"Thank you, Mary. I will finish my story quickly. So then we lived in our house which you have already seen that day when you visit me. So As you see right now I'm so afraid to be social. I always having panic attacks, and Gabriel worried about me because of that. He told me to stay away from the things that make me upset or scared. I always tried to be like that but ended up with anyhow getting attacked or getting a panic" Castiel stopped a bit and wiped his tear face before taking a long sip.

"As the most Unfortunate person ever lived on this planet, another day I tried to help a man who was laying on the floor. Because I thought he has fainted, but turned out he was some drug-addicted guy. and he robbed my school bag and shoved me hard as I ended up with a huge panic attack and few buries" Castiel sighed. Mary gave him a very sad look while petting his hair.

"Then Gabriel got pissed. He shouted at me. He questioned me why I always ended up not listening to him and then got into trouble. Then he yelled that no one came to help us when we needed help, and every time I tried to help someone or close to someone I got into trouble or hurt. Even I was having social phobia so Gabriel was angry and he threatened me that he will leave me if I'm not listening to him anymore."

Castiel cried again.

"Mary, after I lost everyone and everything Gabriel become both my Mother and my father, he sacrificed everything for me, he fought for me, after everything when he said like that I was ashamed of me a lot, and I begged him to not to leave me. Then he made me promise him that in whatever situation, or whatever circumstances I should not engage with anyone else besides Gabriel, without informing him. And I should not try to help others or should not talk with strangers. Like that he made few rules for me, of course, to protect me. I never broke any rule since that day, until the day.." Castiel stopped and looked at Mary who now looking at Castiel with more tears.

"Until the day you saved me. Isn't it Son?" Mary completed him trying to catching his gaze.

"Yes Mary, but I couldn't resist that day, I automatically did everything that I wanted to do but I don't want you or anyone to recognize me because I didn't want to Gabriel find out about that. And please don't misunderstand me, it's not like he will yell at me about what I tried to do for you, I mean He is a very kind guy, he never thinks twice to help someone, but when it's come to me, he is very scared. Because I'm a problem magnet as his opinion" Castiel smiled a bit through the tears for the first time after he came to this house.

" No, no I really understand son, I can understand both of you and your brother's situation," Mary said giving him a reassuring smile.

"Thank you for understanding Mary, so I didn't want to fail my brother and also you, I had to save both sides, I was afraid to give my correct details to the hospital. that's why I gave a fake name and address. I make sure that you are getting better and you are okay then I just ran out from the hospital" Castiel said.

"So Mary I'm not a cheater or I didn't mean to be a liar, but I had to, I hope now you will understand me and my situation at that moment" Castiel sobbed. Mary hugged him more tightly.

"My dearest son, I told you I never suspect you, or will never think about you like that, son you saved me twice and god, you even gave me your blood, I will never ever think about you like that. I always believe you my son, and you are a son to me, so please don't cry now, everything is fine, I'm here with you, I swear I will be your next protector after your brother" Mary said while crying.

And then Sam wiped his tears with a very determined face then stood up. Dean glanced at him with a glare and sigh him to stay down but Sam didn't even look at him as he stormed to the dining room.

Both Mary and Castiel gasped when they saw Sam padded down the stairs like half running. They can say that Sam was crying when they saw his face.

Sam didn't say a word and directly walked to Castiel and pulled him from his mom's hand then hugged him.

"I'm so, so sorry Castiel, I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you" Sam cried.

Dean automatically stood up. What the hell Sam was doing. Shit. No Sam is right. Dean wished if he could go there and hug Castiel right now. But he can't. Practically how much his heart shouted at him to go there and took Castiel to his arms and soothe him, to tell him everything is gonna be okay, he can't, he can't do that, at least he didn't have a right to do so. So he just stood there without moving or say something.

Sam was hugging Castiel tightly and babbling stuff. Poor Castiel was nearly crushed by the giant crying Moose.

"And Castiel like my Mom said, I'm your third protector, I know I'm younger than you maybe three or four years. and also I didn't mean that you are not strong. but I mean I'm always with you for anything, ANYTHING you hear me?, and Castiel I want you to know that I'm so glad I got to know you man" Sam confessed not letting go of Castiel.

"And Castiel, since today you are my best friend, remember that you can tell me anything, anytime, evenly we can hangout every time we have time" Sam finally let Castiel go only to look into his face.

Castiel was now smiling happily at Sam.

Dean rolled his eyes but secretly wiped his face because there were still few tears.

"Oh Sam I don't know how to thank you, you are very kind to offer me your best friend friendship. It's mean a lot to me, thank you and yes you are my best friend too"

Sam and Mary both smiled at Castiel.

"Oh and yes, I know it's so rude and not polite but I want to confess that I had listed to your story, I'm so sorry. I wanted to know what made you that much worry, and I wanted to try to help you if I can, so that's why I listen to you, I'm sorry Castiel" Sam confessed.

"It's okay Sam, I know you are a very good person just like your mom, so it's really fine," Castiel said bit a shy tone.

"So now everything is clear and I want you kids to eat soon as possible, especially you Castiel, no arguments" Mary warned glaring at Castiel jokingly.

"Oh guys I can eat a whole devil by my self can we eat now" They heard Dean said before he walked towards the kitchen.

He obviously avoided eye contact with Castiel and didn't want to make Castiel uncomfortable. But Castiel felt an emptiness in his stomach like he is gonna puke when he saw Dean. Because after everything happened tonight, the last thing he wanted to deal with Dean Winchester. But he controlled his fear quickly.

"Yeah let's eat guys, come to Castiel you also can bring foods to the table with us," Sam said dragging Castiel to the kitchen.

Sam, Mary, and Castiel were about to enter the kitchen when they heard a scream from Dean who was in the kitchen already.

"Mom, oh my god, you lied to me. you had already made a pie" Dean yelled as he can't believe it.

Mary opened her mouth to say she wasn't, but before that, they can be heard and see Dean moaning with a mouth full of apple pie.

"Dean, you did it again, you ate the desert alone, which was supposed to eaten by all of us, obviously AFTER the dinner, and of course after the service first our special guest" Mary said with a glare.

"C'mon Mom, it's an Apple pie and you both already make sure and told him to feel it like home, so he is not a guest. oh and besides I already brought Ice cream and Cheesecake for him" Dean grinned at them before showing another giant piece of pie into his mouth. Then started to moan.

Castiel stared at him with a half-open mouth.

An hour ago, Castiel and Dean were life long enemies, hell, still they are, but here they are now, Dean is moaning like crazy over his pie, and eating it like he got a gold mine.

Mary chuckled and leaning over Castiel and whispered.

"I'm sorry about your pie son, I told you, you will understand the relationship between pie and our family, so here it is" She nodded over her elder son.

"Oh my god Mom, your hands are golden, I have no idea that what you did with this apple and this pie today, it's delicious more than before and this is the best pie you had ever made," Dean said with another moan and Castiel goes red and Sam's eyes were wide. Then mary opened her mouth again to tell that she wasn't made that, but before that Dean started again.

"Mom I know you are angry with me now, but you know the hands which made this kind of golden pie, deserved to be kissed" Dean giggled like a kid and Castiel gasped. He knew Dean never gonna kiss his hands but he practically went pale with that thought.

And next second Dean was in front of Mary and took her hands but Mary stopped him.

"Hey, hey hey wait a minute. yes you are correct.of course I'm still very angry with you, and I have to have a big talk with you. but later I will do that. And now if you want to kiss the hands which made that pie, then please kiss our Castiel's hands"

Mary chuckled at the last sentence she told.

It was Dean's turn to go pale as he stared at Castiel.

"Castiel? Wha? What did you mean by that?" Dean asked with a shocked and red face.

"Dean, when I tell you that I didn't bake a pie, I didn't lie, but Castiel made that pie himself and brought it for us, so seems like he is making the best pie. actually it smells heavenly so I can tell its delicious too" Dean barely hear his mom's babbling after the part of Castiel made the pie. Holy shit, that was the best pie he had ever eaten and it was made by his greatest enemy. No way. Today is filled with wonders. Dean practically wend beetroot red and he stared at Castiel few seconds without knowing what to say.

"Oh," Dean started.

"Ahem, I mean, okay, right, um. I didn't know. Um, Castiel. It's very good and thank you,.. I guess" Dean collected some words as Castiel's still teary cheeks got a bit pinky. He nodded at Dean.

"Um okay, thank you and welcome, I guess" Mary looked at both of them suspiciously and made a mental note to talk with Dean about their problem soon.

"Okay then let's eat" Mary clapped her hands before getting food from the microwave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how's it? Tell me?
> 
> Your kudos and comments are Golden to me. 😍😘
> 
> Did you made your Christmas tree?🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄  
> Have a great day and Merry Christmas😄🎄🎁❄🎅😄🎄🎁❄🎅🎄🎁


	10. The impala ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so don't forget to tell me how it is? 💕❤🌸 it's 4.16 am and I'm finally updating my fic for the New year.❤💕

The four of them ate peacefully. Mary forced Castiel to eat more and Sam also tried to serve him more. Dean didn't say anything much, he ate silently because he was busy staring at Castiel's lips. Castiel was getting very uncomfortable when Dean sat down in the chair opposite him.

But he tried to forget about him and concentrate on Mary and Sam. Castiel knew who Dean was. He didn't even want to think about what will happen to him when they going to college tomorrow. Because unfortunately lots of things happened today, Dean to get revenge tomorrow. So he didn't want to think about it now.

"Castiel son, please have some more, you didn't eat much," Mary said when Castiel was folding his food on his plate, and Castiel smile at her.

"I will, and these foods are really delicious, it's feeling like home, I mean foods are amazing" He praised her.

"Thank you son".

They ended the dinner and Mary stood up to bring the dessert. Sam offered her help and walked with her.

The moment Dean and Castiel get along in the dining room Castiel felt a small shiver ran through his whole body. Damn who thought He and his enemy will take dinner together at one freaking table like this. It's like a nightmare.

Castiel just lifted his glance and then he saw the look on Dean Winchester's face who was staring at him like a hungry wolf. Castiel quickly glanced down. He didn't want to even think about Dean right now. Okay, focus on anything other than Winchester Castiel. C'mon. To his relief, Castiel heard Mary's voice.

"Okay, actually I didn't know what would you like so, you can have anything you like for dessert. We have cheesecake and Chocolate ice cream, of course, your delicious pie too. I'm sorry I didn't make dessert myself because I was not sure you will like it or not" Mary said putting the cheesecake on the table. Sam followed her with the ice cream and pie.

Everyone helped themselves eagerly. Especially Sam and Mary got generous pieces of pie before Dean finish it. Mary didn't forget to cut another piece and put it on Castiel's plate and hand over the ice cream for him.

"Mmm oh my god Mom, Dean was correct, this one tastes amazing, like the best one I ever had" Sam moaned with the first bite, and Castiel's face lit with a smile.

"No offense though Mom" Sam added.

"None taken Sam. and yes I agree. Castiel, this is the best pie I have ever had too, you have gifted hands son, really" Mary said without hesitation and smiling at him genuinely.

Castiel gave them a shy smile.

"Thank you" He murmured softly. Dean didn't say anything or didn't moan anymore while he ended the whole left pie piece. He didn't eat any other dessert but pie.

And he was a bit busy with glancing over Castiel's lips, eyes, and his body, he can't take his eyes off Castiel because god damn, the kid is wearing his clothes and he is cute and sexy as hell in those.

Freaking Castiel Novak, the greatest enemy of his life is wearing his fucking clothes and having dinner with him in his own home and here we go, Dean is devouring greedily the pie made by him.

Fuck, how domestic is that? With that thought, Dean Choked his bite full of pie and started to coughing, starlet everyone.

"God Dean just take it easy, no one gonna steal the pie from you" Sam chuckled patting on his brother's back.

"Go away bitch" Dean shrugged his hand and glanced over Castiel. Castiel can swear he saw a line of blush over his cheeks. Is Dean Winchester getting blush now? Hell, what's going on with my life lately.

"So by the way, if it's not too much for tonight I would ask about both of your deals" Mary Scowled.

"But I'm not gonna drag it right now because of Castiel. I don't wanna upset him again. but you! Mr. Dean Ross Winchester, you and I have to do a very serious talk very soon" Mary said in a very serious tone and Dean gulped, his pie filled fork was stopped by few inches away from his mouth.

Sam chuckled at him and Dean glared at him.

Mary glared at both of them and served a generous piece of cheesecake on Castiel's plate. Castiel gasped with seen that.

"Mary I'm already full, I don't.."

"Oh Castiel you are a kid who needs to eat more, so don't say anything just eat it "

Mary didn't let Castiel say anything.

They had finished the dessert listening to Sam's college stories when Castiel decided it's his sign to go home.

"Mary, I think it's time for me to go home, actually I really want to thank you for being very kind to me for the whole time. And I'm so sorry for every mess I had to bring here. I'm really really very sorry" Castiel said looking at his hands.

"Hey, you don't need to apologize for anything. And we are very, very happy to have you here, and I'm looking forward to seeing your face more in my house, and I really mean it son" Mary added and Castiel looked at her in a pleased face.

"But Mary don't you think that it's.." Again Mary interrupted him.

"No Castiel no, I'm not thinking about anything other than that, you are very free to come here anytime you like to, that's mean this is your home too, we are your family, we are always there for you son, please remember that, okay?" Mary asked with a reassurance way.

"Okay Mary, thank you for everything" Castiel didn't try to argue anymore.

"Oh and I don't let you go now alone, either you should stay tonight here or I'm gonna take you home in my car, no argument though"

"What? No. Mary, I'm so great full about your care, but actually, I really want to go home and I promise you, I can go home alone. I will be fine" Castiel said.

"No, you are not going along. Dean, do you mind giving a lift Castiel here?" Suddenly Mary asked Dean.

"What? no I mean, Mom, he just said that he can go home along, so just let him go as he wants, I mean he is not a kid" Dean shrugged.

Mary shook her head as unbelievable. Sam gave him a bitch face.

"I Can't believe you said something like that Dean, I really don't understand how you have been this much rude for this sweet boy here. Look at him you dummy, he is so innocent, how are you being so rude like that?" Mary burst out and Dean's face got sad.

"Jeez Mom, I'm not rude, I just.." Dean stopped and rolled his eyes.

"You know what.. Okay. I will take him, okay? Happy?" Dean was a bit angry but most of all he felt little frustration with everything happening right now. Wow, now he has to give a lift to that nerd. Amazing.

Castiel was in a nightmare.

"No, no absolutely no Mary, I'm totally fine to go home along. I'm feeling better now and no any panics, see I'm even breathing properly" Castiel said showing off breathing heavily.

Sam rolled his eyes smiling at that.

"No Castiel, we saw what happened earlier and we are not let you go along this night, never. so you better listen to Mom, otherwise, she will carry you and put your ass in the car" Sam chuckled.

Castiel gulped and looked at Mary who gave him a fake glare.

"Okay then" Castiel said so lower as Winchesters almost did not hear that.

They said goodbye to Castiel and Dean didn't even look at them. only waited outside with a huge scowl on his face. Mary gave Castiel a sweet kiss on his cheek and hugged him dearly. Sam also pulled him into a bear hug and promise to visit him soon again.

Then Dean get on the car and waited for Castiel to get in. But Castiel just staring at the Impala like he was seen a unicorn.

"What are you waiting for Princess, want me to carry you and make you sit there?" Dean said in a grumpy voice. Castiel looked at him with a little shocked face.

"Um, can I sit in the front passenger seat? I mean Is that okay?" Castiel asked like he does not believe what he is asking.

Dean glared at him. Then looked away.

"Whatever. just hurry up, and don't even think to make me your driver sitting by the back seat" His voice was pissed and Castiel didn't waste any second and then he opened the door and got in the car.

Dean drew off when Mary and Sam waved at Castiel.

Since he got on the car Castiel was in Awe. He couldn't resist the awesomeness of the Impala and he never thought that he could ever ride this.

"Holy shit this is awesome"

Castiel was stunned by his own voice as he never ever thought to say it loud. He was just thinking about it and then it slips out of his mouth.

Shit, he cursed his stupid mouth in the next moment.

"What did you say?" Fuck, Dean had heard it. Now answer him you stupid Castiel.

"Sorry, nothing"

"Nothing? what is Awesome, Novak?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it aloud, it just came out"

"Whatever, I'm asking what did you say?" Dean really wanted to know about that and he demanded again.

Castiel knew he had to answer the question quickly. because he didn't want to make Winchester angrier.

"I mean, this. The Impala, your car. It is Beautiful"

He answered.

Dean suddenly looked at Castiel. He can swear Dean's eyes were shining at the time maybe a little bit of pride.

Dean held his glance more than necessary seconds.

"Well, Thanks," Dean said finally getting his eyes into the road again.

Then there was an uncomfortable silence between them for the next few seconds. And also Dean drove the baby very slowly. He didn't want to think about why he did that. Because the roads are wet and slippery from the rain. So he just being a bit careful. That's it and it's not like he was kinda didn't want to end this ride so soon. He would answer like that if someone asked him about that.

"Um, you know I'm sorry about your lost, actually I didn't know about your mother," Dean said suddenly and Castiel turned his head to see whether Dean actually speaking right now, or he just imagines sounds. But no, it was actually Dean speaking. Oh my god, that means Dean also had listened to him earlier with Sam.

Castiel felt his mouth gone dry. Is Dean know about one of his dark life stories? Castiel got really scared. What if Dean ruins his life by spreading it all around the college tomorrow? he can tell my story around other bullies and they would make my life a living hell. Oh god please help. Castiel wanted to cry. But he gathered himself and answered Dean. Because Winchester was acting weird too. He is talking like he knows all other things about me.

"Okay, thank you. Of course, you don't know anything about me" It's slipped in his mouth again and Castiel cursed himself again. The last thing he wanted now was making Dean pissed off.

But Dean only glanced at him with a shocking face. Like he didn't expect something like that.

The kid was right. What am I know about him? Nothing. Dean thought.

"Look Winchester, you don't need to pretend anymore, it's not like Mary and Sam are here looking at us. Just say it, say it all. Insult me, scolds, yell, say all the bad things you want to tell me and you can even shove me off the car after that, but please don't bring this to college" Castiel didn't want to be a powerless crying baby. But this is not a time to try to be a powerful and fearless man. It's all about his life in college. His college life was almost ruined so he didn't want to make it messier.

Dean looked at him like he saw a ghost.

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" Dean dead-panned.

Castiel gave him a meaningful look.

"Please don't pretend, you know what I'm talking about. You had listened to my story, aren't you now?" Castiel asked when he felt he wants to cry again.

Then Dean motion that he understood what Castiel talking about.

"Don't be stupid. I'm not planning to do something like a third class thing like that. And yes I was listening to you and I'm sorry about that. But I never expect something like that. I only wanted to know why would you used a fake name, that's it. And obviously, I'm not an asshole, your secret is safe with me" Dean explained and Castiel huffed to that angrily.

"Tell me about that Winchester. I can't even imagine what you were planning to do, to get your revenge on me, because that's what you definitely going to do" Castiel prompted.

Dean lost his words. Hell, the kid was right. The only thing Dean did when he sees Castiel was hurting him and make his college life so hard for him. Okay. But until yesterday. He just has to make a new deal between Castiel and himself now. He didn't gonna hurt Castiel anymore. And besides, after knowing that Castiel was the one who saved his mom's life, Dean will never hurt him again in his life. But unfortunately, he has to win his bet. And of course, after getting to know about his story, Dean got more and more uncomfortable with his bet. But he can't lose everything by letting people call him gay. And he can't let his Dad disappointing about him. Also, he has to save his family first by proving who he is. So first thing first. Bet came first. He can fix things later after that. But in the meantime, Castiel was the one who saved his family once saving his mom. So like that, Dean is so fucked up right now.

But now he has to deal with this half angry lad here.

"What? are you telling me that I'm an asshole? how dare Novak? Insulting me when you are sitting on my own car" Dean said. But not in real anger, just he was going on his natural habitat.

"Oh speaking of which, stop the Car" Castiel was so angry now. He knew what Dean going to do tomorrow. But he is not gonna shut his mouth tomorrow. He is done with Dean's all shits. This is his life and he has to protect himself. So he burst out.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I said stop the car Winchester," Castiel said again.

"Why? Look I don't have time for some dramas okay? I just agreed to give you a ride to your house, that's it" Dean protested.

"And I know how much you hate to do that and I don't want you to do that either, so I'm asking to stop the car. Then I can get off and go my way. You can get rid of me too" Castiel said in a rough voice.

Dean glanced at him again. But Dean really didn't want to get rid of Castiel.

"Yeah? Such a smart ass, aren't you now? And what about when my mom asks how I came home earlier? Instead, I should have been on my way to your home? Huh?" Dean asked like little bit pissed.

"I'm not a smartass Winchester, and you don't need to act stupid too. Obviously, you can go somewhere else and go home later as you drop me my home as Mary asked you to. That's not magic" Castiel answered and Dean glared at him for a second. This stubborn nerd is something else. Isn't he? Dean groaned before answering him.

"Oh yeah? You know Novak you don't know about my mom yet" Dean huffed.

"Sooner or later she will call me and will ask where are we now and definitely she will want to talk to you too, then she can make sure I didn't dump you on the way" Dean rolled his eyes before saying so.

Then Castiel sighed as he got understand he was stuck with Dean in his amazing car here. Besides he didn't want to make Mary disappointed or drag Dean into another trouble, making his own college life more threatened over it. So he decided to be patient in this situation.

"Okay, fine" Castiel finally said and Dean almost didn't hear that because his voice was so small.

Dean smirked at him.

Dean really wanted to thank Castiel. But at the same time, he felt kind of awkward. But he always really wanted to talk with Castiel in peace. Forget about the rest of the world. Forget about his Dad, his asshole football team, forget about his mostly fake hate and talk with his old best friend in a civil way. But he never got a chance for that.

But right now the said world itself shoved him towards Castiel and however now Dean should get close to Castiel more.

On one hand, because of the bet which was Dean hesitate even to remember. And on the other hand, because of his Mom. Because this brave kid here had saved his mom's life and his Mom wants him to treat Castiel good as well. So practically Dean should ready for his new changes. And he was kinda like it.

So this is his first chance and he is gonna test the waters.

"So actually I wanna thank you, for the, um you know saving my Mom" Dean started and Castiel looked at him like is he serious or trying to do some prank.

"Actually more than thanks, I mean it's kind of a big deal you know. Never knew it was you. And.. Um, I can understand now why you pretend like another person and stuff. So it's.. It's kinda I don't know.. I mean thank you, thank you so much man" Dean was babbling for the first time in front of Castiel. And Castiel wasn't ready for something like that. He kept looking at Dean dumbly.

"Hey? Are you listening?" Dean asked before giving a quick look to Castiel because he was silent and then glancing at the road again.

Castiel remembered it's his turn to say something.

"Um, yeah. Yes. Okay," He just answered simply and quickly turned his face and looked out of the window. Obviously, wishing Dean will get the message and stop talking. Because Castiel didn't want to talk with him right now. It will definitely drive things to further mess. Because today already happened too much and he can't take more shits. Dean looked at him quietly but didn't say anything but he wanted to talk more.

Dean looked at him again. Okay, it's very awkward when Castiel just sitting there with him but he also needed to hear his voice.

"So how's your you know," Dean asked again, but didn't complete and instead he waited for Castiel to turn around and look at his face. then he can show what he was asking about and Castiel can understand what he was talking about. Castiel sighed heavily. Then hesitantly turned his face to Dean.

Dean blinked and pointed his hands towards his own lips.

"How's it now? Is it, hurting yet?" Dean asked quietly.

This is why Castiel didn't want them to talk. Everything Dean said made Castiel very angry.

"Oh, you are asking about my lips still hurting from your hitting?" Castiel burst out and Dean gulped.

Shit, he felt very guilty but he didn't expect that kind of answer.

"Well, it's healing" Castiel answered without any emotions in his face and turned his glance again toward the window.

"C'mon buddy, don't be like that" Dean huffed after few seconds.

Buddy? Wow, Winchester is now calling me buddy. No, I'm not a buddy of him.

"Don't be like what" Castiel shots out. His voice was definitely angry now.

"Sarcastic" Dean answered looking at him again.

Castiel huffed angrily.

"You are unbelievable. You hit me without any reason, the exact time when I'm having my lunch. and now you asking me not to be sarcastic. Wow. Okay, I will quit being Sarcastic. And Winchester I would really like some quiet time here. but I can't demand stuff like that when you giving me a ride home. So if you don't mind? Or stop the car then I can go by myself" Within that he looked away from the window.

For some reason, Dean didn't felt angry. His heart sink when Castiel said that he hit him when he was having lunch. Shit, He was a bastard. He could have think more. But also he understood that he owed an apology. Hell, not a one, a lot of apologies.

"Hey, Castiel. Look, I'm sorry man. I have no explanation about what I did. but I'm definitely being ashamed of that. So I'm sorry"

Dean apologized and Castiel couldn't believe his ears. What's happening?. Is Dean going to murder me?.

"Winchester, what are you planning? Are you going to kill me?" Castiel asked dumbly tilting his head and Dean almost forgot he was driving. Castiel was fucking cute when he doing that. But hey he can't think that kind of stuff about me. Dean gasped.

"Wha.. Jeez No. Man are you serious right now? No, I'm not planning to kill you I was trying to apologize here, okay? " Dean burst out immediately.

Castiel blinked and waited for a few seconds studying Dean.

"But why? I mean you never do that, saying sorry or admit that you are wrong? This is the third time you said sorry and that's dangerous for me" Castiel said.

"What? No, I'm no..." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Okay..... Maybe I was... Okay? But now I'm genuinely asking for your forgiveness Princess Castiel? Forgive me? I'm so sorry, and I'm not planning to kill you. Definitely not"

Dean said dramatically this time and Castiel glared at him.

"I'm not a princess and please stop saying that I have enough worst nicknames from you," Castiel said looking away.

Dean chuckled without even knowing. He felt funny and kinda happy when he was with Castiel on this car ride. He felt kinda easy and homie feeling.

"Okay, sure thing princess" Dean smirked and Castiel sighed without even looking at Dean.

Then Dean's phone started to ringing and Castiel looked at him when he took his phone from the pocket. Dean checked the caller ID and held it to Castiel to see it too.

"See, told you. It's Mom" Dean said before answering the phone.

"Hey Mom"

"Dean, where are you now? Is Castiel fine?"

"Yes Mom, he is fine and we are 5 minutes away from his house" Dean answered looking at Castiel.

"Okay, let me talk to him"

Dean rolled his eyes before shoving his phone to Castiel mouthing as Told you.

Wow, Castiel has to use Dean's phone now? What's going on with my life. Castiel stopped his thoughts and took the phone from Dean's hand.

"Hello Mary"

"Hey Castiel, you are fine right?"

"Yes Mary I'm okay, please don't worry okay?"

"Yeah okay. And don't forget to call me when you reach home okay?"

"Yes Mary I will definitely"

"Okay son"

Then Castiel gave the phone back to Dean and he listened to Dean say a few words before ending the call.

"Huh, now what? I told you so" Dean said as soon as he cut the call and Castiel rolled his eyes.

"Yes Winchester, you have said it now three times"

He said and Dean chuckled again.

Then finally they reached Castiel's home. Dean felt kinda unhappy about that. He really wished if he can spend more time with Castiel in his car. It's actually kinda cool time. When Dean stopped the car, Castiel looked at Dean hesitantly.

"Um Thank you for the lift," He said quietly.

Dean smiled at him.

"No problem"

Castiel felt a strange feeling but he didn't know what was that and he quickly got out of the car.

"Um, Castiel?"

Castiel held his steps and turned around.

"Yes?"

"See you tomorrow?"

Castiel titled his head. What? And why is Dean acting like this?

"Okay, I guess" Castiel answered and stepped toward his house.

Dean waited until Castiel entered the house and closed the door before drove off. And he shouldn't do that. But he wanted to. I have done so many wrong things. Time to fix one by one now, but I'm afraid that eventually, I'm going to make this worse because of that freaking Bet. But now I have no choice besides going to it. Dean thought on his way home.

Castiel on the other hand was clueless about what's happening around him. He called Mary to inform them that he arrived home safely. And then he got on his bed.

His mind goes through all the things that happened earlier. He just wanted to disappear or be invisible right now. Especially around Dean. He can't even think about what will happen in college tomorrow. What kind of pranks and dramas will pull by Dean tomorrow? He shivered with that thought.

His only relief was he got new friends and Mary and Sam were very kind to him, made him happy. But it ended becoming a nightmare as Dean was her elder son. Why my destiny always joking with me? why is God always made me ended up in front of Dean. Why God why? Castiel questioned today as usual before he falling asleep. But he didn't cry today. That was the only difference. But he was cried a lot earlier. Maybe that's why he didn't cry right now or maybe he got a bit stronger knowing that Mary is promised to be with him for everything and anything. Maybe it's a good thing after all. He got another person who really cares about him, besides Gabriel. He closed his eyes as dreams takeover him slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate your big kudos and comments my lovelies. Have a great day☀


	11. I'm trying okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to the Greatest Hunter ever 💚💚💚💚💚 Happy Birthday Dean Winchester love ❤❤❤❤❤  
> So it's 24.01.2021 and Our beloved Dean's Birthday🎂🎉🎁🎂🎉🎁🎉🎈👑🍰🎁🎇🎂🎉🎁🍰🎁🎇
> 
> I just wanted to wish him.
> 
> The chapter isn't about it though. Hope you enjoy this. Sorry for the mistakes.❤💕💕

Dean was in his bed groaning himself, unable to believe what had happened to him this evening. His whole life changed in one single evening.

Hell, in one day he accepted the most ridiculous and dangerous bet he got in his life. Then he felt some strange feeling towards his greatest enemy even he had to seduce him within few months. And should take his virginity. Wow, what a plan, and the said guy had to happen the savior of his mom's life. What a coincidence. Dean closed his eyes tightly as he felt his head is going to blow up any moment now.

He didn't know what he should do now, even though he knew one thing very surely. He can't hate Cas anymore. And his heart craving for Cas's presence surprising him more. Maybe because now he knows about Cas's life a bit and he knows how he saved his mom. Anyhow the only thing Dean knows is he can't control his strange feeling towards Cas. He didn't want to label it though. Whether it's all about Kindness?, pity?, feeling sorry?, trying to making up to Cas everything? trying to be a good son as his mom wishes? trying to make a new friend? Or to end a useless hateness? 

He didn't know which label suits that more, but then his heart shuttered with the next thought popped-up in his mind. Is that all about kindness or maybe a very sly, very cunning attempt to slide into that innocent boy's pants? or a very clever plan to destroy his greatest enemy? or trying to take the fire under the water and finally get the poor boy's virginity? Damn, that's a very demonic and terrible thought.

No, I'm Dean Winchester, I'm not an asshole like that. Am I now? No, I'm not a fool and I'm gonna fix all of this very soon. Dean finally said to himself before he fell asleep on that cold night.

............

The next day in the college Castiel was in a huge fear. He didn't know what to expect from Dean Winchester. He believed all of his words from yesterday were lies, maybe a part of his prank which he is gonna pull any time right now. Castiel's heart going uneasy every time when someone talking behind him or someone brushed past him.

It was time to start the last class before the lunch break as he grabbed his notebooks from his locker trying to relax himself for a bit. Because the earlier class went very blanky as he couldn't concentrate much other than thinking about Dean and the last night. So he wanted to spend his time in his next class, a bit relevantly and concentrate on the lesson properly this time.

But making the moment worse, Cas felt a hand on his shoulder as he jumped out and turned around hoping a disaster.

"Woah Cassie didn't mean to scare you," Alfie said in an apologetic tone. Cas gave him a pointed look exhaling breath heavily.

"Alfie please don't do that okay? You really scared me" He said while closing his locker.

"I'm sorry Cassie, is everything alright, you look pale," Alfie said touching Cas's cheeks but Cas slowly shoved his hand off from his cheeks rolling his eye.

"I'm always pale Alfie"

"Oh no, you are not, you got this creamy tan color which makes you prettiest boy in the college" Alfie said suddenly and Castiel's face lit by that. But he pretended to its not made him happy but his lips curled into a nice smile.

"Don't butter me up you know. I'm not pretty at all. And what are you up to Alfie?" Cas asked rolling his eyes for the second time.

Alfie chuckled glancing at his friend's face.  
"Aww don't be shy, I just said the truth Cassie" Cas shook his head while both of them walked towards the class.

This whole time Cas didn't see Dean. That's a good sign. Maybe he is absent today. But Cas remembered the way he asked last night as "see you tomorrow?".  
Cas didn't want to think about it more and made his mind crazy so he decided to let his thoughts go away and going to the class peacefully.

.....

After the class, Alfie mentioned that he is going to collect Meg from her class and they are going to work on their projects again and asked Cas to join with them. But Cas said he also has some studies to complete as he walked down to their personal hanging out space edge of the college playground. The tree Cas always loved to sit and do his studies.

To be honest Cas always loved and craved for someone to be with him, some friends to hanging out with the whole of his life but right now all he wanted is to be alone.

So he sat on the grass, laying his back to the tree and grabbed his notebooks, then started writing his notes before his mind go away again. He has spent only 5 minutes in peace. Only freaking 5 minutes before he heard his voice.

"Hey there" Cas heard it and he didn't want to lift his eyes to see who's voice was that as Cas just froze in his place. Why the hell Dean can't just leave him alone and mind his own business. Why he chased him and make his life worse every fucking second.

Cas closed his eyes and groaned. He didn't want this right now. He wanted to yell at Dean as, go and fuck yourself. But it will make this hateness worse. So Cas didn't say a word or didn't lift his head. He glared at his notebook and pretend like he didn't hear Dean at all.

In the whole day, Dean was finding a good time to talk to Cas. In the morning he saw Cas, actually, he didn't see him, practically Dean searched Cas everywhere and found him in the studie area. He wanted to talk to him but Meg was with him. Dean knew Meg chick and her mouth. He didn't want to anyone know about what's going on between them. So Dean waited. Then after his classes, he finally saw Cas alone near his locker and he looked around to see if whether his asshole football team anywhere near. After he got satisfied with the environment he happily walked towards Cas but before he reached to him, that little fucker Alfred or someone Dean never remember the name, ruined the moment and came to Cas. So after stalking Cas a few hours like that Dean finally saw Cas walking toward the playground alone. Dean followed him without noticing anyone. He just wanted to get a decent apology and make a path to solve every problem. And mostly be thankful for what Cas did for his Mom.

"Ahem, hey can I talk with you a bit Castiel?" Here we go again and the voice came very low and small.

Wow, where is his majestic roar he always used when he bullied me? His groanings and snarlings? why is he acting so soft and kind right now? Cas could feel Dean's sparkly eyes drilling into him even he didn't see it and he couldn't take it anymore so finally Cas looked up to meet Dean's eyes. Dean was kneeling in front of him putting his both hands on his thighs and sitting on his legs.

"Why?" Castiel breathed out. Dean's face lit up and there was kinda nervous and a bit hysterical touch in those eyes and it's seemed a bit weird. Because Dean Winchester is never being nervous. He made people nervous. So Cas got another reason to be afraid about the moment.

"Actually, I was thinking..you know, um I.. Last day I just hurt you and then.. " Dean started.

"um and then I just ruined your lunch, so I wanted to do something about it" Dean added, afraid that Cas might stand up and run away from him.

Okay, here we go. This is it, this is why Cas never believe in his luck and Dean's silence. Both ends with a disaster. But Cas felt a wave of anger as he burst out.

"Yeah? Is this the time you going to get your revenge Winchester, are you going to hit me again right now? Or going to pull another dirty prank with your gang? Why can't you just leave me alone. I already apologize for everything" Cas was on the edge of tearing but he hated himself for that too. He didn't want to cry over this stupid boy here.

Dean looked at him like he can't understand what Cas is talking about.

"What? Why'd I? No. Oh, did you thought I'm gonna? Oh shit No Cas no, I just came in peace okay? No bulling no pranking, no more hurting. Jeez, why'd I even hit you Cas?" Dean babbled and Cas huffed at him sarcastically.

"Because that's what you always do when you see me" Cas shooted back.

"C'mon man I didn't, okay?"

"You want me to remember everything you did to me? and just right now you said you did hurt me that day, right? So that means you hit me in right here, right this place" Cas said fighting the urge to cry out.

"No, no please don't. I'm sorry for everything Cas. I don't know how to fix my past but I really want to make it up to you, but dunno how to.."

"Why?" Cas interrupted.

"Why you want to fix that? What changed you suddenly? What do you want? Why now? after all these years?" Cas questioned because he wanted the answers.

Dean felt his mouth went dry. But he got this, he should answer Cas today or sooner no excuses now.

"Because, because I.. Cas I wanted to.. I mean I always wanted to.. Shit. Okay, I don't know okay?" Dean was very, very bad at feelings and emotions, and making it worse he didn't know how to explain shits to anyone. Okay, way to go Winchester you ruined it in the first attempt.  
But he tried again.

"I don't know why Cas. But I.. Okay fuck it. Cas, I just wanted to give this to you and say I'm truly, extremely sorry for what I did" Said Dean and unceremoniously shoved a little parcel into Castiel's lap. Castiel gasped and looked at it with a scowl.

"What is that Winchester? Is it going to blast? Oh god do you going to blast something on me right now?" Castiel's voice got dangerously shaking and he went pale within a second as Dean's eyes went wide.

"Jeez, Cas No. Calm down you look like you gonna throw up or something, hey it's just a.. Argg screw it" Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed the parcel back from Castiel's lap.

Dean started to unwrap the brown paper quickly and Cas can see now a plastic-wrapped something. Something like a sandwich.

Dean got it to his hand and lift it as Cas can see it clearly.

"See it's not any kind of blasting thing or a bomb man, it's just a freaking PB & J sandwich," Dean said and put it again on Castiel's lap. This time a bit slow as his two fingers barely touched Castiel's thighs.

What? What the hell happening right now? Dean Winchester brought Cas a lunch? What the fuck was that? Castiel gulped soundly making Dean looked at him and here it's happening again.

Dean caught Castiel's gaze as he stared at him licking his lips unconsciously just as always he did. Dean can't get enough of looking at those freaking sexy and pinkish lips. Sometimes before he wondered how do those plum and kissable lips taste like, but then he goes terrifying with those thoughts and his hatred popping up for covering those dangerous and "ridiculous" Ideas. That's how Dean normally dealing with his feelings, always covering up those with his fake hate. But right now it's different. Dean was in the middle of apologizing, so he has to behave.

Suddenly Dean cleared his throat and looked everywhere but Cas. With that Cas also understood that he was staring back at Dean without even knowing what he was doing. Sandwich, yeah Dean was offering him a Damn Sandwich with all suspicious reasons in the world.

"Why'd you given me a sandwich?"

"Why wouldn't I? Cas, you gave me a whole delicious Apple Pie last night, obviously the best pie I have ever had in my life, so couldn't I give you a little sandwich. Besides last time when I.. When that fight happens I kicked your sandwich and it's a very bad thing to do. So this is for apologizing for that" Dean confessed and Cas was still looking at him with his frown face.

Castiel glared at him this time.

"For the record I brought that Pie for Mary. And that day when you kicked my sandwich and "My lips" There wasn't a fight, you are the one only hit me, I didn't hit you so it's not a fight Winchester it's a bulling" Cas said because Dean nicely covered those points. Probably Cas will have to go through the consequences for mouthing with Dean at any point now. Maybe his gang will pop up any second and all will hit the shit out of him. But he didn't care. He didn't gonna be silent right now.

Dean palmed his face and sighed.

Okay, that is not the reaction Cas expected from Dean and he was surprised.

"Look, Cas I'm not gonna argue with you here. I just want you to know that I regret what I did. That's it" Dean said in a very low voice. Cas was still scowling and Sandwich is on his lap.

"And how would I know that you didn't poison it? Cas asked and Dean never turned that much fast. His face filled with disbelief emotions.

"Jeez, Cas! Why'd I poison you? God, I'm apologizing here my ass off and you suspect me as I'm trying to poison you?" Dean said it bit loud and confused voice.

"Okay, you don't trust me, right? Not a wonder though when looking back on my past" Dean said smiling at his hands.

"Okay let me prove you," Dean said before taking the Pb & j sandwich from Dean's lap for the second time, and he unwrapped the plastic from it. Then he showed the sandwich to Cas and took a bite from it.

"See? I ate it" Dean said biting it and finally he swallowed it and opened his mouth to show Cas, that he actually swallowed it. Cas has obviously gone red with that. He can feel his cheeks getting burned.

"Happy now? No poison, no pranks, I swear" Dean said and this time he didn't put it on Cas's lap but just held out it for Cas. For a second Dean thought that Cas will kick his hand and the sandwich like he did on his last day. But No. Cas didn't kick his hand but glaring him with a suspicious look on his face. For some reason that made Dean's heart shuttered.

"God Cas, are you always this grumpy when it's coming to the food time?" Dean chuckled putting the sandwich again on Cas's lap.

"Why'd you keep calling me Cas?" Castiel's mouth always slips. He didn't mean to ask it loud as always. But it's jumped out and it's too late now to fix it. Dean's glace changed. Shit is he getting angry? Cas licked his dried lips.

"Because that's the nickname I gave you" Dean started not looking at Cas.

"I'm the first one who called you by that nickname" Dean slowly glancing at Cas.

"And you said you loved it, loved it more than other nicknames your family has given to you" Dean caught Cas's gaze and held it. Cas can feel something inside him changing.

"And I made it myself" Dean kept dragging old memories and Cas felt it's starting to trigger some unwanted memories. He started to breathe heavily wishing Dean will stop talking.

"And you never allowed any other one to call you to that name" Shit Dean is not gonna stop his babbling and Cas felt his eyes getting wet and his breaths starting to hitch unexpectedly.

" "Cas", that's the name I used to call you when we used to be best friends," Dean said staring at Castiel's bright blues which was now wetting with tears and that's it. Castiel's grabbed his own neck as he felt someone tighten his neck because he really got hard to breathe properly. And Dean didn't see it coming until now. Dean's mind got another good few seconds to process what's happening as his eyes went wide.

Fucking hell Cas's having a panic attack. Shit.

"Cas, Cas Castiel it's okay it's okay just breath, breath with me," Dean said and started to breathe in a rhythm as showing it to Castiel. Castiel tried to breathe properly, as Dean heard some noises coming toward them and he turned to check what was it. Holy shit there are a bunch of students coming towards them laughing and screaming at each other. Thank God they still didn't see Dean or Cas.

But Dean can't do this. He can't let anyone see that he cared for the biggest nerd in the college. And helping a gay boy with his panic attack? No. Absolutely no. He can't do that. Hell, he got a reputation to save. With that thought, Dean looked at Cas who was struggled with breathing and turning purple obviously. And the next second Dean stood up on his heels and ran. He ran fast as he can toward the college building.

Castiel felt tears pouring down on his cheeks while he fought with the panic and tried to calm down his breathes as best as he can. And then he saw why Dean ran away from him as the bunch of students walked past him without having any idea that poor Castiel was sitting under the tree. Then Castiel understood that he was crying and his whole head started to spin. Also, the ground and trees around him started to spin around him very fast. The next moment his vision went completely blur and he felt his face buried in soft warm grasses.

.....

Dean fell into a cafeteria seat. What the fuck happened there, he thought running his fingers through his sweaty damp hair. Fuck! He was in one second behind from caught up with Castiel back there. Phshhuu... He sighed as smirking at the cafeteria table like he did something big.  
And hold on a second. Oh shit, what has he done? He just left that sick kid there to suffering from that panic attack alone? Damn Castiel wasn't in a good situation when Dean left him there. Dean's heartbeat stopped for a second as he understood what has he done. He was a dumbass, he should have think more. He saw clearly how difficult it is to Castiel when that attack hit him last night. Shit, and somehow, he was the one, who triggered Castiel's panic attack today. And instead of helping him for get out of that, Dean left Castiel there alone. What a great beginning Dean?

Dean was supposed to make a trust between them, he was supposed to thankful to Castiel and this incident was the best chance for that. And this is the way Dean nailed it cleverly. Duh.. But how Dean gonna do that with his this attitude. He was stuck with lots of deals. 

He should be thankful for Cas, should apologize for everything he did, and should be good for Cas. And also at the same time, he should seduce Cas, should get his v card. Fuck, how he gonna do that? How he gonna get his V card and make him feel better at the same time? And of course, in the meantime, Dean didn't want other people to know that what's going on between them. Dean is too chicken for being a friend with a nerd and a gay boy. A fucking gorgeous and handsome gay boy though. Yeah, Dean was fucked up big time.

Dean cursed himself as he wanted to know that Castiel is fine or not. But he can't go there and check on him again. Shit. Dean didn't know what to do now.

"Hey Winchester, how you doing man?" Suddenly Dean heard Azazel's demonic voice as he started gritting his teeth.  
Dean didn't want to face them right now as he stood up and walked away from them. But before that, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Not now Azazel not now" Dean groaned.

"Oh, c'mon man don't be like that. We just wanted to know about the progress? How's your pretty little angel boy? Did you find a way to slide into him yet?" Alastair asked and other assholes immediately laughed out loud.

Dean was seen red as he turned around and grabbed Alastair's collar.

"I said not now" Dean growled at him and Alastair backed off.

"Okay, okay Winchester take it easy, but just remember your time has started already," He said shrugging Dean's hands off his collar.

They walked away from himas Azazel murmured as "tik tok, tik tok, tik tok"  
earning another death glare from Dean.

Dean knew he has already missed his class as he decided to check on Castiel as he ran over the garden once again but didn't go near to the tree where Cas was before. He stopped a bit far and checked whether Castiel is still there or not. For his relief, he wasn't there. And he checked for him all around the college but he couldn't able to find him. He was a mess and he decided to wait in the cafeteria until his friends coming after the class. For his relief Charlie, Jo and Grath came first, then Benny and Adam came from their classes too. As the gang got together Dean forget about everything and they started to having fun, eat snacks and bickering with each other. But for some reason his best friend Charlie was given suspicious glares the whole time at him. And finally, Dean leaned to her.

"What is it red? that look on your face? Why are you acting so weird?"

"Yeah? I was going to ask the same question, Dean? What's going on with you? What did you do this time?" Charlie shot as Dean backed off by that. He huffed nervously and shoved her playfully. He knew Charlie can read him very well. Charlie took that as she was right as she determined to corner Dean later and get it out from him, however.

.....

"Cassie you should tell me what's going on with you, you know we don't keep secrets, right? I can obviously feel the shake of your voice and it's not normal. tell me right now, what's going on?" Gabriel demanded as Castiel got no other option but to tell him what was happened.

Castiel was in his home when Gabriel call him in the evening. Castiel wanted to ignore the incoming call and text him as he is busy with his studying. But eventually, he knew Gabriel gonna suspect him and will call until he answered the phone. Castiel knew about his stupid overprotective brother. So Castiel answered the phone being very careful to not let him get any clue of what's happened to him earlier in the college.  
But seems like his voice had betrayed him when he answered the call.

"It's not a big deal Gabe, you don't want to get any tension like that" 

"Big deal or not just bring it, what happened?"

"Okay, okay fine. In the college, I got it again okay? It's turned out a big one. And I have somehow passed out. Then my friend Kevin has found me and he took me to the college nurse. But I got better soon after that and I just came home without waiting for an evening class. Because I thought I should get some rest, that's it, but I don't know how you caught that with my voice Gabe" Castiel said huffing a laugh a bit, for wanting to make Gabriel bit calm down.

"What in the hell? So Is that what you call "not a big deal" Cassie? How dare you hiding it from me? We have already sworn not to keep secrets. Which part in it you don't understand? And, oh god, how big it is Cassie? Are you feeling okay now? Shit bro, you should have told me earlier. But it's fine I'm gonna come right now, I'm gonna close the bakery right now" Gabriel said with a very angry voice and Castiel knew this is what gonna happen from the beginning.

"No, Gabriel. You are not. I'm really, really fine now and you don't need to drive back here for nothing. I promise you, I'm fine. Besides you going to visit at the weekend, so it's fine. No need to come right now. Please I know how hard you work for your bakery and shop. so please don't try to drive 3 hours at night. Okay? I'm actually fine Gabe I swear" 

Castiel tried his best to stop Gabriel. Because he knew how hard his brother working and he didn't want him to use his only free hours for driving home.

Castiel had to use lot more words to convince Gabriel to stop storming home that night. Then after renewing their promises, to tell everything to each other Gabriel satisfied and ended the call promising call him next morning.

Castiel finally closed his notebook and shoved it into his backpack when he felt something in his hand. He slowly put it out.

Oh, that Sandwich. That freaking sandwich.

Dean's Pb & J sandwich. Castiel staring at it with a glare. He doesn't know Dean triggered him by aware or not but whatever it is, he left him as always he does. He always makes him hurt and runs away from it, letting Cas suffering from that. That's what he does. Castiel felt huge anger and disappointment. He should not even talk with him. He is so stupid.

He wanted to throw this stupid sandwich away but then his stomach started to growling hard remembering him that he didn't eat anything for a long time. Castiel sighed and slowly closed the sandwich to his nose.

It smells good and still looking fresh. So he didn't think anymore as he took a bite not caring about anything else. Because he was tired of thinking. And then nothing happened with that bite. Seems like it's really not poisoned. So he ate the whole sandwich.

But whatever happens, Castiel doesn't want to mingle with Winchester ever again. So he determined to ignore him as much as he can if Winchester tried to get into him in any way again. Castiel will not let him ruin his life anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me about it? Good or bad it's okay hit it my friends?💕
> 
> Coz your big kudos and Comments are making my day❤
> 
> Have a great day 💕


	12. Please forgive me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Dean keep trying and poor Cas keep resist him
> 
> Will Dean succeed his mission?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies 😍
> 
> So we all just having our big day, Dean Cas Wedding 😍😁💞💚💙 it was awesome. Right? 💞💞
> 
> So please read my fic and tell me how is it?  
> Sorry for the mistakes.

Okay, why would Dean can't tear his eyes from this nerd boy every time Dean saw the kid is passing by. That's one big question Dean always had. But he never got a correct answer for that. Maybe because he still refused to question it further or deep down from his mind. Or maybe because Dean wanted to give a break to his poor mind which was at a crossroad right now. Or maybe because Dean didn't ready for the answer yet.

Castiel was sitting in the study area when Dean roaming all over the college searching for him. When Dean finally found him the first thing he did was scan the area like an eagle to check whether was it secure to talk with Castiel. To his relief, there were no many students in there but only two nerd girls and three more nerds boys were there minding their own business. Dean was sure that they will never notice even Dean dance here because they just attached to their books like glue.

"Nerds" Dean murmured to himself while walking towards Castiel.

Castiel was deep down in his studies when he saw Dean sneaking around like a thief. Castiel knew what's going to happen with that. This bastard never leaves his cunning plans, seems like he has determined to get his revenge in big time. Castiel hissed at the thought when he quickly turned his glance to his book again before Dean caught his eyes.

Dean didn't know how to talk to Castiel anymore, after the incident of yesterday. But he had to do it somehow. so he stood in front of Cas like a robot and just cleared his throat like an idiot. Castiel didn't lift his head or looked at him. he just pretended like he didn't hear anything at all so Dean tried again.

"Cas, I know you are so mad at me right now. And you have every right for that too, but I'm gonna sit here for a bit and gonna talk to you, okay? just please listen to me for few minutes okay?" Dean said and quickly sit in front of Castiel without waiting for a response from him.

Castiel groaned when Dean found that is too cute and almost snorted, but he didn't want to make him more upset or angry so he shut his lips to a thin line as hold his laughter.

"Well, how you feel now? I hope you are all fine now" Dean asked and Castiel was so done with Dean's acting. Well, as he believed that Dean is acting for the whole time.

"What do you want Winchester?" Castiel asked, voice bit raised.

He lifted his head finally to look at Dean's face before starts again.

"Can't you understand that this is a pointless thing, Winchester? You keep coming to apologizing but ending with making a new reason to make apologies again" Castiel burst out. Dean went speechless with that comment and Castiel started again.

"You are like poison to me. And you obviously hate me, that's the reason for all of these problems. But If you really want to make it up to me because of your Mom's sake, just leave me alone, just please act like I'm invisible and I promise you I will do my best to stay away from your steps too"

Castiel said with a very low and sad voice without contacting Dean's eyes. Dean was shocked when he heard Castiel's request. And of course, it pissed off Dean to know that Castiel doesn't want to talk to him anymore

"Cas, jeez. I'm... I'm not.. God, I don't hate you, well, not anymore if I say, and why are you so hard to convince something? why can't you just listen to someone when he is trying his ass off to talk to you about something?" Dean forget about where they were as his voice went high without even knowing. Few students glanced over them and Dean ignored those nerds but understand he was yelling now. And Castiel's eyes were big and filled with unsecured and shock. Shit shit shit.. Dean cursed himself for making Castiel upset again. He knew he screwed again but he wanted to try again so he took a huge breath.

"Cas, look buddy, I'm so sorry, I'm a huge idiot, I didn't mean that shit. I mean I didn't mean to yell at you, I'm really sorry" Dean continued but Castiel huffed, sad, but sarcastically.

"Yeah, you always are" With that Castiel tried to gather his books quickly, to leave here but before that, a warm and strong hand grabbed his wrist. Castiel glanced over his hand even he knew who's hand it was. Yeah, it's Dean's.

"See? told you, now you are going to say that you are sorry for grabbing my hand like this" Castiel said in an angry voice this time, trying to get rid of Dean's grip. His heart was shuttering with Dean's touch. Why this boy doing this? God, why can't he just leave me alone?

"What? No! I'm not gonna say sorry for doing that. I did it to stop you coz you were going to stormed off from me, aren't you now? And I'm not done with you yet. So Castiel will you listen to me now please?" Dean asked with no hesitation making Castiel shivered. The bastard felt it from Castiel's hand as he smirked at Castiel, before talking again.

Castiel glared at him for a second before tugging his hand again to failed again.

"Okay... What do you want to say? Say it quickly because I have to go. And first of all leave my hand Winchester" Castiel groaned trying to pull his hand from Dean's tight grip again, but failed. Dean was staring at Castiel for the whole time, but never let go of his hand. Dean's gaze trailed onto Castiel's plump pink lips before he licked his lips unconsciously.

"Okay, so first thing first. Cas, I really sorry for yesterday. man, I acted like an asshole. I left you when you... When you got that" Dean stopped and tear off his eyes from Cas's eyes, which were now looking genuinely sad. Dean looked at their connected hands.

"Cas I don't know what happened to me and I just, I just didn't want to people to talk about shit, and god this is so hard to explain man" Dean looked away unable to find the right words to describe what he wanted to, without hurting Castiel. But he didn't know that Castiel already knew what was happened yesterday. Suddenly Castiel started to laugh sarcastically making Dean look at him in a questioning face.

"It's not that much hard Winchester. Obviously, you don't need to seen or caught up with the biggest NERD, and the most PATHETIC LOOSER in the college. You don't need to students to talk about shit like, "Dean Winchester is giving Pb & j sandwich to his biggest enemy in the college" So that's why you ran away. So is it that much hard as you think? No Winchester it isn't. and I told you, you don't need to pretend, or I don't need your pity. If you are really sorry about what you did, just do me a favor and Just pretend as I do not exist, so I can live peacefully" Castiel's words came out so quickly even without stopping to breathe, and at the same time he pulled his hand for the hundredth of time, to be successful this time. Dean just staring at Cas with a blank expression. Dean knew Cas was right. He can't help but all the things happening around his life suddenly made him to do so that's why he ran away leaving him yesterday. And Castiel was right and Dean has failed again.

Castiel didn't wait for Dean's reply as he grabbed his backpack with his books and then stormed off the study area without even glancing at Dean.

Dean just stared at Castiel's back unable to think what he should do next. He felt a familiar anger rising inside of him. Anger about himself, for acting like an idiot. He signed and slowly walked to the cafeteria to find his friends when he felt he need to think about anything else but Castiel. But every single second his mind only showed him the very sad face of Cas, which he saw when Castiel left him in the study area a few minutes ago.

"Hey, Dean you okay? Why the sour face Brother?" Benny asked as soon as he saw Dean came to them. Dean just shrugged as the answer before fell into the seat next to Charlie.

"Yeah, I noticed it few days Dean, you have dumped us and sneaking around the college like you are trying to hunt down something, what's going on with you huh?" Jo questioned her cousin brother and Charlie got off her eyes from the game she was playing on her phone. Dean gulped glancing at Jo, shit Jo's sharp eyes always catching his secrets.

"Woah, Woah guys, give the man some space to breathe, okay?" Charlie interrupted when Jo rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, just as usual you are covering his underworld work, isn't it baby?" Jo frowned at her girlfriend.

"Nope, I have no idea what you are talking about, but I just saying, look at the guy men. You all are jumped on him as soon as he showing up" Charlie grumbled when Dean smirked at the rest of the gang.

"All right, all right guys calm down, thanks red, for trying to help, and Jo jo I'm not dumped you guys and didn't sneak around, I was just busy with practicing. That's it, so what's new?"

"Don't call me that name you dumbass" Jo groaned making Dean laugh louder.

"Well, nothing special, we all working our ass off for the coming tests," Adam said ignoring his twin sister Jo's cry.

"Yeah that's right, and how about you, you ready for the exams?" Benny questioned furrowing his forehead.

Okay, to be honest, Dean completely forgot about exam. He didn't have time to even think about the exam. So seems like his problems got even big with that. But then he got an idea.

"Actually not yet, but I think I should start studying as soon as possible," He said with a sly grin on his face.

Actually, his idea was seems like a pretty good one. it's kinda killing two birds with one stone. He can do his studies in the library which was the greatest hiding place of Cas. On the other hand, no one will suspect about the fact that Dean hanging out in the library, because the exams are coming soon so Dean can put on an act like he is studying and for the plus point he can actually do studies too. And he can catch Cas for few minutes to explain everything and put another step closer to him. Maybe they can study together if he played this right. So it's a deal and Dean confirmed the idea in his mind when others dragged him to get their lunches.

For the rest of the day, Dean didn't saw Castiel. That's how Dean got to know that Cas was keeping his word, tha stay away from Dean's steps just like he said earlier. But Dean just let it happen for today, only today because he got plans for tomorrow.

..........

Castiel was having a very hard time. It's like his worst nightmare came alive and started to hunt down him. Every time he tried to concentrate on his own business, boom... Dean freaking Winchester was in front of him. Acting and saying the most stupid things to him and trying to apologize for everything he did to him. Isn't it even a joke? For everything he did to Castiel? Woah Dean has to do more than that then. He will have to do much more. Because there are a lot of damages Dean did to the poor boy until the very day.

Castiel tried his best to hide from Dean. And of course, for his wonder, the other bullies seem like forget about him too. Now, isn't it a strange thing? Wasn't that meaning there is a big, ugly prank is going on with all of them, against Castiel. He wasn't an idiot. hell, the boy must be one of the most intelligent kid in the college. So he knew something was going around him and he knew it was Dean. So Castiel did his best to ignore and resist Dean for the health of his pathetic life.

But whenever Dean come close to him, his poor heart skipped beating and he went all sweaty. Castiel knew his limits, he knew who's Dean Winchester is. It's true that Castiel had a pathetic and huge crush on Winchester but not now, not after all those things he went through. Not after the things Dean did to him. Not after Dean hit him twice to admit in the hospital. Castiel can still remember the bitter taste of the medicine he had to drink. And obviously, Dean showed him his limits, his status. Dean had said a lot of bad things to him, a lot of insults even Castiel can't listen to them without crying. Dean did a lot of physical and mental damages to him, so NO. NO more crushes over that asshole. But to Castiel's unfortunate, he still can't tear his gaze from Dean, when he is not seeing him staring. And for his anger, he still can't forget about how they were being so close as best friends a few years back. Somehow those memories stuck in his head as good memories even Castiel wanted to forget about everything related to Dean. And still in deep down inside his heart, there was a huge space that Castiel knew no one can fill but only one person. The one person Castiel can never have and never even think of. So Castiel did his best to buried his stupid feelings over Winchester. Because he knew that's the only way he can survive his sad and alone college life.

.....

Exams are coming soon, but Castiel didn't want to prepare all over again for that. Because in his life, he didn't have anything special to do other than studies. So he already ready for any tests. But as usual, he went to the library to rewalk through the lessons when it comes to the lunch break.

Dean did everything to get rid of his friends without getting suspect. But Charlie gave him a pointed look when he said them that he is going to mess with some girl, who he plans to ask out. But Charlie, Dean's best friend, knew that Dean was absolutely lying. But for Dean's relief, she didn't say anything other than that look.

Castiel was walking through the library aisles, his eyes scanning the shelves to find the book that he wanted. He never gave any attention around him besides the books. Then he turned to go to the other shelves as next second he ran right into someone as he almost yelped. Castiel put his hand on his heart and had to wait another few seconds to get his breathes back to normal as he was stunned like a deer. And then he noticed who was happened to have he ran into. No wonder but it's the Dean freaking Winchester. Castiel's eyes went wide as he seeing him but Dean was having his smug grin for the whole time.

"Hi"

Dean Whispered and that's how Castiel noticed how close they were standing there. Dean's face not far from his face and their chests almost touching. And Castiel's whole body went shivered when he noticed that Dean's one hand resting on his waist. What the hell he thinks he is doing, Castiel thought and shoved off his hand from him.

"What the hell you doing Winchester?" Castiel asked putting a step away from him.

"You were almost fell back Cas, I just tried to hold you and save you, jeez Cas," Dean said almost laughing. Castiel knew that wasn't a lie but he really didn't want his help though. He set his jaw glaring at him and then Castiel turned on his heels and walked away from Dean as much as fast he Can. Castiel didn't want any more discussion with him. He came back to his table where he was sitting back and started his studies without the book he was searching for. His heart still beating heavily. His whole face turned red with embarrassment.

He even can't see one word he was reading right now. He ducked his head as much as he can and wished that Dean will leave him alone and the library too. But as usual, his wishes not full filled and he heard the sound of the chair next to him being pulled.

Holy Mother of God, why is this kid can't leave him alone. A whimper left from his mouth without even knowing.

Castiel can feel eyes on him and he didn't want to look up to know who's eyes they were. He just kept tried to concentrate on his book but kept failed when a little folded piece of paper fell onto his book. Castiel glared at it for few seconds and then he pushed it out of his book when he heard a soft chuckle. Few more seconds passed without any move. What is he up to now, why is he acting like this, Castiel cursed himself for not walked out of the library after the first second he saw Dean in here.

And then that piece of paper again fell on to his book and Castiel saw red now. He lifts his head and looked at the boy in front of him who was now giving him his signature Winchester charming grin. Castiel's jaw clenched and his brows snapped together.

"What are you doing here Winchester?"

"Well, hello to you too Cas, and what kind of question is that Man? It's a library, so obviously, I came here to study" Dean said with a nice smile on his face. Castiel rolled his eyes for that. His anger was still there as same.

"Whatever, can't you find any other table to sit at?" He asked even he knew it's not a fair thing to ask from another student. But in this case, they should not sit at the same table, when there are a lot more empty and long tables were there.

"Well, to be honest, this is my favorite table Cas, and this is my favorite chair," Dean said without a hesitation taping on his chair.  
Without wasting any second Castiel stood up and gathered his stuff in the next second. Dean lifted an eyebrow and studies him.

"Um, What are you doing Cas?"

"I'm going to leave your favorite table and chair to all yourself" Castiel faked a smile and alone with a glare, then he walked out of that table. Castiel looked all over the library to find a table far away from Dean, then walked over to the corner table far away from Dean as much as possible and sit there turning his back to Dean then started his studies again with a heavy sigh. Dean was looking at his actions as he shook his head chuckling.

"Too hard to get, aren't you now Cas" He mumbled standing up from the table. He didn't have much stuff with him but only a textbook and a pen. So he grabbed those and slowly walked towards the table now Cas was sitting. Dean knew this is going to make Castiel super pissed but what to do?, this was the plan.

Dean just pulled the chair next to Castiel was sitting and fell into it making Castiel jumping with the sudden sound. Because Castiel never expected Dean to come to this table too. Dean glanced over Castiel as soon as he sat there and started to talk before Castiel go and sit another table or leave the library.

"Actually I made a mistake, I forgot to tell you that, the previous table and chair became my favorites because you were beside me, so without you, in there I'm not interested in them anymore. So here I came to my new favorite spot" Dean said and he plastered a nice smile on his face.

Castiel can't believe what's going to happen to him. Seems like Dean never going to stop this until he pulls his dirty prank on him. Maybe Dean will hit him or maybe when he accepts Dean's apologies he will stop this and laugh at him with his gang. Whatever it is Castiel wished if it would happen soon. Because this is more hurts than that.

But right now those words Dean saying! God, why'd he even saying stuff like that, even he listen himself? wasn't that seems like almost flirting? but everyone knew that Dean Winchester will never flirt with a Gay nerd, never ever, but why'd he acting like this then?

Castiel didn't reply but only glared at him for few seconds before gatherings his stuff again but suddenly Dean's hand on his, grabbing Castiel's both hands. Castiel gasped at the unexpected touch. Dean's hands were soft but hard at the same time. They were warm, and his fingers were long and thick. 

"Winchester, leave my hands, what are you doing?"

"Cas, please don't leave, please stay," Dean's said softly, his voice low and small but his grip was so strong.

"Leave my hands" Castiel groaned.

"I will leave your hands if you promise that you are going to stay in this table," Dean said like a child. Why in the hell Dean making this so hard. What kind of game he is going to play now.

"No, I'm not going to sit here with you, at the same table, I'm not stupid that much, now leave my hands" Castiel pulled his hands back but they are started to hurting too because Dean's grip is too tight.

"Cas I don't want to hurt you, please stop struggling. And promise me, then I will leave you" Dean tried again.

"No Winchester, leave my fucking hands or I'm gonna call for miss Donna"

"Well, okay go ahead, and then what? you will go out. and I'm gonna follow you everywhere until you agree to listen to me properly," Dean said rubbing his thumb over Castiel's soft back of the hand, loving the soft skin underneath his hand. The action made goosebumps erupted all over Castiel and Dean chuckled softly.

"Please stay Cas, I promise I won't hurt you," Dean said softly almost like whispering and leaning into Castiel a bit. Castiel didn't know how to react to that or what should do as he felt his heartbeat getting speed.

"Okay I'm not going away, now please leave my hands" Castiel murmured and Dean gave him a genuine smile this time. And slowly gave a squeeze to his hands before letting go of them. Castiel quickly pulled them into him and put them on his lap afraid Dean will catch them again. Dean chuckled at that action.

"Cas, read it," Dean said passing that note again to him. And this time Castiel rolled his eyes and took it. He unfold it slowly frowning at it.

// I'm so sorry Cas for everything  
❤  
//

Okay, why'd he put a heart in there? Castiel was now glaring at the note and fold it back again.

"Will you forgave me Cas?" Dean asked softly. 

"No" Castiel burst out and Dean pouted.

Is that.. Is that Dean pouting at Castiel? But why? Why would he doing so? Isn't that not normal?

"Cas c'mon man give me a chance, I'm really, really sorry, I will do anything to make it up to you," Dean asked again.

Castiel stayed staring at Dean for seconds, chewing on his bottom lip, His eyes were blank. No emotions in there. Just blank but still beautiful and shining like a sky.

"Anything?" He asked suddenly.

"Yes anything Cas" Dean beamed and said smiling at him.

"Okay, then don't talk with me ever again, pretend as I'm dead or never exist. Act like I'm invisible, then you can't bullying me, do that and I will forgive you" Castiel said.

Dean's eyes widened and his beautiful smile vanished. First, a shock and then a sadness clouded his features

"What? No, Cas I can't do that, please, let me show you that I really really regret my actions and past, you are a good kid and I did so bad to you, you did the biggest favor to me saving my mom, and I'm just want to make it up to you, please give me a chance Cas" Dean said like a beg and he was going to touch Castiel's hands again but Castiel pulled them quickly before Dean reaches for them.

"No, I said I don't want your pity. Just for the god sake leave me alone and don't try to prank me ever again, and don't try to stop me right now" With that Castiel walked away from Dean, but this time he didn't stop him. Because he knew he can't stop Castiel forever. Dean had to think more. To be honest, Dean did so much worse to that innocent kid. so he must tried a bit harder. Dean started to think harder and harder but he only can hear Castiel's words again and again.

//Just for the god sake leave me alone//

Does Castiel hate me that much? Dean's chest tightened with that thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's it? Tell me everything?   
> Mistakes, good or bad? Anything?😍😍
> 
> Your big kudos and comments make me keep writing this 💞😍💕
> 
> Have a great day ❤

**Author's Note:**

> How is it? Any kind of comments are welcome. I like to know my mistakes. And your big Kudos and comments are so so welcome 😍😍 😘😘😘😘😘 see you soon..


End file.
